


Sometimes Sweetly, Sometimes Achingly

by todolist



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Drinking, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, References to Drugs, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-03 22:30:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 42,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15828225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/todolist/pseuds/todolist
Summary: Donghae met the love of his life at fourteen. Jeno, at twenty, already lived with his boyfriend.Taeyong, on the other hand, was twenty-five and had yet to be kissed





	1. One, Two, Three, Four...

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Lovelyz's That Day.
> 
> This is my first work, so excuse any grammatical errors (tenses are a real bitch). I love NCT, I love Taeyong, and I love Jaehyun no matter how much I also make them suffer.

The first time Taeyong saw Jaehyun, it was when he was just drunk enough to stare but not drunk enough to go up and say something.

As per usual Donghae style, his wedding was a little cliché and cheesy, but still romantic and cute. Red and pink rose petals decorated every inch of the hotel venue. The cake was stacked high with mini figurines of the grooms on top. Donghae had even nagged enough to get Hyukjae to wear a matching pure white suit—but it wasn’t like he had to try very hard, because Hyukjae always caved when it came to Donghae.

Donghae had wanted a flower girl and ring bearer, but unfortunately, he wasn’t close to anyone young enough to fit the bill. So instead, he made Taeyong and Jeno, his oh so dear younger brothers, take on the roles.

And really, Taeyong would never complain about anything regarding Donghae’s big day, but did he honestly have to be the flower boy?

“I’m older than Jeno,” Taeyong had grumbled with no actual anger. “He would look so much cuter throwing flowers at people.”

Donghae had merely laughed and pinched Taeyong’s (practically nonexistent) cheek. “You’re already a flower boy, Taeyongie, so you may as well lean all the way in.”

So Taeyong found himself tossing flowers (petals, as Donghae would always correct him) with a genuine smile, because again, he would do anything Donghae asked him to. His brother deserved at the very least that much.

When Siwon, the officiator, asked them to recite their vows, Hyukjae went first. “I’m not very good with coming up with speeches, and this idiot here,” he poked Donghae in the waist with a soft smile, “is definitely going to come up with some perfectly romantic stuff, so I’ll be quick.”

“Donghae, you make life exciting. Partly because you’re dumb and never stop bothering me, but mostly because you’re bright and help me see things differently. When I see you, I feel like I’m looking into a mirror, because you show me the best parts of us. And I love you, of course, you idiot.”

Taeyong stifled a laugh behind his hand. He’d expected just as much from the straightforward Hyukjae, but with the way Donghae was staring at him, it was as if Hyukjae had just spouted the most beautiful vows in the world.

Then, Donghae took in a deep breath and smiled, the tears already forming in his eyes (damn, that meant Taeyong lost his bet with Jeno). “Lee Hyukjae, it’s you. I’ve known it’s you since we were fourteen. Every day I think of how lucky it was for me to miss the train, because then you never would have stayed behind to help my brother and I never would have met you. I thought you would’ve forgotten about me in no time, but when you came up to me in school two days later and asked how my little brother was doing, that’s when I knew it was you.”

“Oh my god,” Donghae laughed, covering his face with his hands. “I’m probably being so cheesy right now. I’m sorry. Um. I swear I had this whole romantic monologue planned out, but I don’t even know anymore.” 

Now the tears were really coming, streaking down his cheeks and dropped onto his pristine white suit. And yet Taeyong had never seen him happier.

“I love you, okay? I’ve loved you for twenty years already, and I know I’ll love you in another twenty, forty, sixty, however much longer we’ll live. You’re my light and my forever, Hyukkie, and that’s the only thing I know for sure.”

Before Siwon can say anything, Donghae has already lurched forward and kissed Hyukjae, his hands fisting into his husband’s blazer. The crowd laughed as Siwon raised his hands up as if to say, what can you do, and just started clapping. 

In that moment, Taeyong had witnessed the purity of the happiest moment of his brother’s life. But now, a few hours and two glasses of wine later, he’s considerably more somber. He watched as the newlyweds spun in slow circles together, whispering to each other with adoring smiles. Jeno held his boyfriend at a respectable distance—enough room for Jesus, as Taeyong liked to say—as they slow danced. 

He swept his gaze over the remaining guests. Yunho, Donghae’s best man, was also on the dance floor, laughing loudly as his twirled his two sisters around at an alarming speed. The singing trio of Kyuhyun, Ryeowook, and Jongwoon, were relaxing at the bar. Siwon was deep in a conversation with an old lady, and Taeyong was willing to bet an arm and a leg that it was something about religion. Taeyong’s cousin Mark scrolled aimlessly on his phone. A young man sat at alone a few tables away, his chin rested in a large hand as his dark eyes stared pensively at something only he could see. 

Curiosity taking over the better of him, Taeyong observed the man more closely. He had pale white skin and brown hair cut shorter on the sides and parted in the front. The man looked to be roughly the same age as Taeyong judging by the youthful set of his face, but his brooding eyes aged him ten years. And he was handsome. So, so, handsome.

If Taeyong were braver, or if he’d had a few more drinks, then maybe he would have sat down next to the man and talked to him. If he had a little more courage, he may have tried to flirt with him, too.

But Taeyong wasn’t particularly brave, so he stayed in his seat. And when the man’s gaze shifted over to him, he immediately glanced away.

 

 

“God,” Donghae exhaled with a fatigued sigh. “I can’t believe you’re moving out, Taeyongie. Are you sure you don’t want to stay a few more months?”

Taeyong, who had been in the middle of taping the last box shut, shook his head. “You and Hyukjae-hyung are married now, so you should get the house.”

He ciykd sense that his brother was about to protest, so he held up a hand to stop him. “I already signed the lease for my apartment, hyung. You should enjoy yourself now that you’re a married man,” Taeyong teased.

Donghae blushed at the mention of “married man” and lovingly twisted the ring around his fourth finger. “I’m really gonna miss you, Taeyongie. It was already hard enough having Jeno move out, and now I’m losing my other baby brother,” he sighed. He opened his arms out for a hug, and Taeyong didn’t hesitate to nestle up to him.

“Oh!” Donghae suddenly let go. “I almost forgot that the wedding pictures came in. Wanna see them?”

Knowing that Donghae would have made him look at them anyway, Taeyong nodded. Donghae left the room and came back with a stack of photos and eagerly began flipping through them. “Aww, look at how cute Hyuk looked. He looks like an angel when he wears white,” he sighed.

“You’re too whipped, hyung,” Taeyong smiled. He leaned his head on his brother’s shoulder as Donghae continued to go through the photos. There was Taeyong throwing petals, and then right after that was Jeno with the rings. Then the singers, and following them came Hyukjae with Junsu. 

And then Taeyong bolted upright. “Hyung, who’s that guy?”

“Hmm?” Donghae paused and examined the photo of Yunho with his two sisters and another man. The exact same man, if Taeyong remembered correctly, who’d been sitting alone with an unreadable expression. “Oh, that’s Yunho’s brother.”

Taeyong raised a shocked brow. “Yunho-hyung has a brother? How come I never knew that?”

“I never told you?” Donghae replied with a surprised expression. “Huh, that’s weird. Jaehyun is a couple years younger than you and Yunho talks about him a lot,” he mused.

Now Taeyong’s curiosity was really getting the better of him. He knew Yunho well enough because he was Donghae’s next best friend after Hyukjae. Taeyong was only a year younger than Soojung, and Sooyeon was always friendly. But he’d never heard of a fourth Jung sibling, much less one who was so…mysterious.

(And hot, of course)

Donghae snapped his fingers. “Ah, I just remembered! You know how Soojung and Sooyeon both went to school in California? Jaehyun studied in America too so he was only really around for the summers. He’s a really nice kid, if not kind of distant. I don’t think he likes to talk very much, but he’s not shy.”

“But you know him well enough to invite him to the wedding?” Taeyong pointed out.

“Well…” Donghae trailed off. “Not really, but he’s finally back in Seoul for good and his siblings were all invited, so I thought it’d be nice to invite him too. I was a little surprised he came, though.”

Suddenly, Donghae’s expression turned mischievous and he turned to Taeyong with a smirk. “What’s with all the questions, anyway, Yongie? You think he’s cute?”

Taeyong flushed, which made Donghae crack up in laughter. “You think Jung Jaehyun is cute! I have to tell Yunho this now,” he cried out in glee, jumping to his feet and racing for his phone.

“Hyung!” Taeyong buried his face in a pillow. “You can’t do that!”

“Can’t do what?” Hyukjae, who’d just arrived back home, popped his head into the room in curiosity.

Before Taeyong could tell him it was nothing, Donghae shouted, “Taeyong thinks Yunho’s little brother is cute!”

Taeyong really needed to move out.

 

 

The second time Taeyong saw Jaehyun, it was through the haze of smoke and flickering matches.

After helping him move into his new apartment, Ten had dragged Taeyong out to Johnny’s bar. “It’s a housewarming party,” Ten had insisted, but Taeyong know that his friends just wanted any excuse to get wasted.

Johnny had closed the bar for the day so their circle of friends could have the place to themselves. Taeyong only had time to briefly say hi to Yuta and Doyoung before Ten pulled him over to the backroom where people only went to get high.

“Hey!” Johnny greeted, lounging on the couch with a half-finished stick. As he spoke, a cloud of smoke escaped his mouth.

Ten’s eyes lit up upon seeing his boyfriend. “Hey, you,” he smiled sultrily as he moved to straddle Johnny’s lap. “Shotgun me, won’t you?”

Johnny complied, taking another hit of marijuana before kissing Ten. When they parted, Ten too exhaled out smoke.

Taeyong smiled at their antics. He’d never been one for smoking pot himself, but Johnny and Ten made it look cute. Leaving his friends to themselves, Taeyong surveyed the rest of the room. Sicheng and Kun were exchanging hits as they conversed in Mandarin, and Lucas had somehow fallen asleep on the floor. Taeyong guessed that the others were all drinking at the bar, and he was about to go and join them until his breath caught in his throat.

Because sitting on the window seat was Jung Jaehyun. He held a lit cigarette between his artful fingers and once again stared off into nothing with a brooding look.

Taeyong was sober, which meant he definitely didn’t have the balls to go over and talk to him. But then Jaehyun’s face came alive and his eyes flickered over to where Taeyong sat. With a small smile, Jaehyun tilted his head and crooked a finger towards him. 

_Come here, you. ___

____

____

And the next thing Taeyong knew, he was standing before Jung Jaehyun.

“Staring is rude, you know,” Jaehyun commented, and there was a brief flash of amusement in his brown eyes.

Taeyong couldn’t stop the blush that traveled up his neck to his cheeks. “I wasn’t staring,” he mumbled defensively.

The man in front of him laughed. The sound was lighter than Taeyong had expected, and much more carefree sounding than Jaehyun’s solemn demeanor. “Right. I guess you also weren’t staring at me at the wedding.”

Well shit, Taeyong cursed himself. “I’m surprised you still remember that.”

Jaehyun shrugged and brought his cigarette to his lips. “You were also the flower boy, so it’s not hard to forget that.”

Somehow, he managed to smirk while inhaling. Taeyong hated that (but he really didn’t).

“I’m Jaehyun. Yunho’s brother, but I’m assuming you already knew that considering Yunho-hyung told me that Donghae said you were asking about me, Taeyong-hyung,” Jaehyun raised a perfect brow.

The blush spread even further across Taeyong’s face. “I was just curious because you were the only person I didn’t know,” he insisted. Privately, he hoped that Yunho hadn’t mentioned the fact that Taeyong thought Jaehyun was cute.

Suddenly, he realized something. With confusion twisting its way onto his face, Taeyong asked, “Why are you here, anyway? I’ve never seen you before, and suddenly you know my friends?”

“Just a few of them,” Jaehyun replied. “Johnny’s my best friend, so I know Ten too. Sicheng and I were roommates in college, and I used to sing with Doyoung and Taeil.”

Taeyong’s head spun. Johnny had said before that his best friend since childhood lived in the States, but he’d never mentioned their name. Sicheng had gone to a different college, but he was brought into the friend group by Johnny—who’d probably been introduced to Sicheng in the first place through Jaehyun. And now that Taeyong thought about it, he did remember Doyoung and Taeil being a part of a community singing group in college. And of course, how could he forget the fact that their brothers were close friends?

It was strange to think that they’d never crossed paths before, but now here they were, the only two sober people in a room cloudy with marijuana smoke.

Taeyong had so many more questions, but their time together was cut short by Johnny’s voice calling out for Jaehyun. The disappointment on his face must have been evident, because Jaehyun chuckled as he stood up. He was noticeably taller than Taeyong, with broader shoulders and stronger arms and legs. “Nice meeting you, hyung. And thanks for thinking I’m cute,” Jaehyun smirked as he crushed his cigarette and went over to Johnny.

Taeyong wanted to die right there and then.

 

 

The third time Taeyong saw Jaehyun was a strange one.

Eight years ago, Hyukjae took over the studio that he used to dance at. After Taeyong graduated from college, Hyukjae hired him as a studio manager. At first there wasn’t too much for him to do, but over the years the studio got more and more members and was now doing very well. Taeyong loved his job because he too used to dance at this studio, and Ten, Sicheng, and Yuta worked there too.

Then Hyukjae expanded the studio to also allow aspiring singers and actors a place to train. Doyoung and Taeil worked as vocal coaches. Taeyong wasn’t that close to the acting staff, but he liked Seo Juhyun, the acting department coordinator, well enough.

Taeyong’s job mostly consisted of organizing schedules and checking in with the teachers periodically to make sure everything was running smoothly. At this point though, his routine check ins were pretty much just formalities. Hyukjae ran D&E studios (Taeyong had no idea why Donghae’s initial was there when Donghae wasn’t affiliated with the company, but he suspected that it was because Hyukjae was ridiculously whipped) like a well-oiled machine. Nothing ever went wrong, the clients were always happy, and all the employees enjoyed working there.

Roughly a week after the party at Johnny’s bar, Taeyong was going through his routine check in. He was about to knock on Yunho’s door when he heard a loud shout from inside.

Of course, Taeyong knew that it wasn’t right to eavesdrop, but he’d never heard anyone sound so angry in D&E studios. He peered through the door window to find Yunho raking a hand through his hair in frustration. And standing before Yunho was Jaehyun.

_What the fuck? _he wondered, dumbstruck at the sight before him.__

____

____

Neither of the brothers looked particularly happy. Jaehyun wore his usual brooding expression like he didn’t care about whatever Yunho was stressed about, but the way he clenched his fists together so tightly that his knuckles turned white gave his impassive façade away. Their voices were muffled through the walls, so Taeyong couldn’t understand what they were arguing about. 

Finally, Jaehyun turned away from his brother and briskly strode for the door. Taeyong instinctively ducked and darted down the hallway. No matter how intrigued he was by Jung Jaehyun, Taeyong knew better than to talk to him at a time like this.

 

 

Donghae met the love of his life at fourteen. Jeno, at twenty, already lived with his boyfriend.

Taeyong, on the other hand, was twenty-five and had yet to be kissed.

It wasn’t that he was extremely pressed about being single. In fact, he liked his current free status because it wasn’t like there was anyone he particularly felt attracted to, anyway. But sometimes, Taeyong felt like he was behind everyone else—like he was lacking in some unknown way and would never catch up. And he knew it was stupid to think that, but he was only human and he still felt lonely sometimes.

When he came home after seeing Jaehyun at the studio, the last thing Taeyong expected was to find Jeno and Jaemin sitting on his couch, sharing a bowl of popcorn as they watched some cheesy drama.

“Literally what the fuck,” Taeyong remarked flatly.

Neither of the two boys seemed surprised by his greeting. “Hey, hyung,” Jeno called without looking away from the TV. “Good to see you.”

Taeyong rolled his eyes in amusement. “Good to see you too, Jeno, except not in my house. Don’t you two have like, your own apartment?”

“Yeah, but there’s been construction going on at the neighboring building, and all the noise is really annoying. So we thought we’d crash here,” Jeno explained nonchalantly.

“If you don’t mind,” Jaemin politely added with a bright smile.

Goddammit, Taeyong really could not resist Jaemin’s puppy smile. “Fine,” he laughed. He reached over to ruffle Jeno’s hair extra hard, because they did after all technically break into his apartment. “You can stay for one night only. After that, I’m sending you over to Donghae-hyung’s.”

Taeyong went into the kitchen to make dinner for the three of them, because he knows for a fact that Jeno and Jaemin would eat only popcorn for the rest of the night if he didn’t cook for them. Occasionally, he peeked into the living room to make sure they weren’t causing trouble.

At one point, the giggles over the cute drama died down and only the sound of the TV could be heard. Taeyong poked his head into the room again to see the two boys fast asleep. They sat with their heads together, and if Taeyong wasn’t mistaken, it looked like they were holding hands.

Taeyong loved his brothers. He felt happy when he saw them being happy. But it suddenly struck him that Donghae was married and Jeno had fallen in love already.

He couldn’t help but wonder when he would find the kind of happiness his brothers had already discovered.

 

 

A month later, Taeyong went out with his friends to a nightclub. To his surprise, Jaehyun joined them again, looking perfect in just a pair of jeans and a black T-shirt. His hair was black now, which made it even harder for Taeyong to not stare at him.

To his disappointment, Jaehyun didn’t say anything to him besides a quick hello. When they entered the club, Jaehyun immediately vanished into the crowd and Taeyong was dragged to a booth.

A few drinks later, only Taeyong, Ten, and Yuta remained at the booth. Ever the lightweight, Taeyong suddenly groaned and slumped down on the table. “I want a boyfriend,” he declared.

Ten and Yuta simultaneously choked on their drinks. “What the fuck, Yong,” Ten glanced at his best friend in confusion. “Where is this suddenly coming from?”

Taeyong shrugged with a pout. “All the couples I know seem so happy. You have Johnny. Sicheng and Yuta are basically a couple even though Sicheng is playing hard to get—“ (at that comment, Yuta choked once again) “—My brothers are happy. I want a boyfriend, too.”

“Taeyong,” Yuta said carefully. He exchanged glances with Ten and tentatively reached out to touch Taeyong’s shoulder. “You don’t need a boyfriend to be happy, you know. I thought you said you liked being single?”

“I didn’t say I need a boyfriend to be happy,” Taeyong rolled his eyes because honestly, how were his friends not getting it? “I’m perfectly happy. I think being single is nice. But I also want a boyfriend because it sounds nice.”

Ten furrowed his brow. “Is there someone you like, Yong? Is that why you’re suddenly talking about wanting a boyfriend?”

Taeyong didn’t answer. At that moment, he’d just spotted Jaehyun standing against the wall with a half-finished drink in his hand. 

“Tae,” Ten waved his hand in front of Taeyong’s face. “Are you feeling okay? Do you want to go home?”

As if he could sense eyes on him, Jaehyun looked Taeyong’s way and locked eyes. Again, Taeyong couldn’t read Jaehyun’s face, but he figured that right now, he was definitely drunk enough to take action.

“Where are you going?” Yuta yelped, gripping onto Taeyong’s arm as he tried to leave the booth. “Taeyong, what are you doing?”

“Getting myself a boyfriend,” Taeyong muttered. He shook Yuta’s grip off and wove his way through the crowd.

When he reached his target, he had to crane his neck back to look Jaehyun in the eye. “Hi,” Taeyong breathed, suddenly unsure of what to do now that he was here.

The corner of Jaehyun’s lips lifted slightly. “Staring is still rude, hyung,” he remarked casually.

Taeyong didn’t bother dignifying that with a reponse. Instead, he plucked Jaehyun’s glass out of his hands and set it down on some nearby table. He smirked at the surprise in Jaehyun’s eyes and laced his fingers through the younger man’s.

Jaehyun, he mused, had nice hands. Long, graceful fingers and calloused palms. His hands were so much nicer than Taeyong’s own knobbly, skin and bone ones.

“Dance with me,” Taeyong said.

Hesitation flickered across Jaehyun’s face before he set his mouth in a line and nodded. He let Taeyong lead him to the middle of dance floor without complaint. And when Taeyong pressed up close to him and rested his head against his shoulder, Jaehyun let him.

In his tipsy haze, Taeyong traced patterns onto Jaehyun’s exposed collarbone and murmured, “Why are you always so sad?”

Jaehyun blinked. “What?”

“Every time I’ve seen you you always look sad. I think you’d look really nice if you were happy. But you still look nice when you’re sad too. I just don’t like seeing you sad.”

“Hyung,” Jaehyun sighed, pushing Taeyong an arms-length away. “You barely know me.”

In that exact moment, when the dim lights of the club hit him just right, Jaehyun looked so beautiful. But he looked sad too, and Taeyong thought to himself that he didn’t have to know Jaehyun to know that he was sad about something. And Taeyong didn’t want him to be sad.

So he did the only thing that he could think of. Taeyong pulled Jaehyun down by the collar of his shirt and kissed him.

_Please be happy, Jaehyun. ___

____

____

When Jaehyun pushed Taeyong away, he still looked sad. He shook his head and mouthed “No” before disappearing in the crowd once again. Taeyong almost followed him, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

“Come on, Taeyongie,” Yuta spoke gently as if he were speaking to a child. “Ten and I will help you get home. I think the three of us need to talk.”

 

 

The fourth time Taeyong saw Jaehyun was the last time before he lost count.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going back to college in a few weeks, so I'm trying to write as much as I can now before I get too busy. And I can't resist writing emo Jaehyun.
> 
> Also, fun fact: The fic title and the rest of the chapter titles from here on are Lovelyz lyrics because I fucking love them. If I could include them in this story I would, except there's really no easy way I can think of to include non SM artists without it feeling really random.
> 
> Anyway. Enjoy.

By sheer force of will, Taeyong managed to stumble out of his room. _O_ _kay Taeyong, you can do this_ , he told himself. _No hangover’s about to beat you. You are strong and independent and don’t take shit from anyone._

Two steps later, he fell flat on his face.

“Hey Yuta, I think he’s finally up,” Ten’s high voice rang out. Taeyong winced at the way his voice echoed over and over again in his hungover mind.

“Oh really? Are you sure?”

“Well I just heard a crash, and if it’s not Taeyong then it has to be a robber or a ghost.”

“How the fuck would a ghost make a crash?”

“That's my fucking point!”

Taeyong heard the shuffling of feet growing closer. Limply, he raised a hand to wave half-heartedly while he kept his face buried in the carpet.

“Goddamn,” Yuta laughed obnoxiously. He hauled Taeyong up like he didn’t weigh a thing and helped him across the hall. “You really did a number on yourself last night, Yong.”

“Shut up,” Taeyong whined. The last thing he needed when his head was about to explode was Yuta’s dumb face.

Ten patted Taeyong sympathetically on the back. “It’s okay, Yongie. I’d get that wasted too if I suddenly decided I was going to get a boyfriend and then pounced on Jung Jaehyun.”

Oh right.

 _Fuck_.

Letting out a scream that only made his head hurt more, Taeyong buried his face in his hands and would have hit his head against the table had Yuta not held him back. “Oh my god. What have I done. Why did I to do that. What’s wrong with me?” He shrieked.

“Hey, hey, calm down,” Ten cooed, hugging Taeyong from behind to calm him down. “It’s not a big deal, okay? I’m sure he understands that you were just drunk; you didn’t do anything bad, Yongie.”

“But I wasn’t just drunk,” Taeyong mumbled.

Yuta and Ten both froze. Taeyong felt the latter’s embrace stiffen, and he was almost certain that they were judging him right there and then.

Slowly, Ten released Taeyong and said, “When you said you wanted a boyfriend, did you specifically mean Jaehyun?”

Taeyong hung his head in shame.

“Oh, Taeyong,” Ten sighed. He shook his head in a more serious manner than Taeyong had ever seen on him before. “That’s really not a good idea.”

“It’s fine,” Taeyong cut in, his face burning red. “It’s just a silly crush, okay? I’ve only spoken to him like twice. You’re right; I was drunk and not thinking straight. Can we drop this now?”

Ten and Yuta exchanged glances like the way they had the night before. Taeyong hated when they did that, because he knew that they worried a lot about him when they really didn’t have to. He groaned and aggressively raked his hands through his dyed brown hair, which once again only made his headache worse.

A gentle hand rested on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Yong. Jaehyun’s a good guy, but I don’t think he’s the type of person who really likes relationships,” Yuta apologized.

“It doesn’t matter,” Taeyong shrugged as nonchalantly as he could. “Like I said, I’m not actually serious about getting a boyfriend, so you don’t have to keep on talking about Jaehyun, alright?”

The snappiness in his tone must have worked, because Yuta immediately changed the subject. “We understand, Yong. I have to get to work, but you should rest up for the day. We already called Hyukjae-hyung saying you and Ten wouldn’t be coming in today, so just rest up, okay? Ten will be here for you all day.”

After Yuta left, Ten ushered Taeyong over to the couch. Takeout boxes were arranged neatly next to bottles of water and aspirin on the coffee table. “You should eat something,” Ten insisted, shoving the nearest box into Taeyong’s hands. “God, you were out for almost twelve hours. I hope you’re feeling okay.”

“Thanks, Tennie,” Taeyong smiled weakly. As much as his head still pounded and his chest ached, Taeyong appreciated everything Ten and Yuta had done for him. He curled up like a kitten against Ten’s side as he ate his noodles and only paid half-attention to the TV.

“Ten?”

“Mmm?”

Taeyong sat up and fiddled with the hem of his shirt. “How come you said it’s a bad idea to like Jaehyun? Not that I do, of course,” he added hurriedly at Ten’s hardened expression. “It’s just that, he seems really nice, so I don’t see why you guys are acting like he’s a dick.”

Ten let out a long sigh. He rolled his head back to stare at the ceiling, said, “Like Yuta said, Jaehyun’s a good guy. He’s nice and polite, but that’s just kind of it, you know? None of us besides Johnny and Sicheng actually know much about him, because he’s always been really closed off.”

“It’s hard to explain because you never feel like he’s being fake or bored when you talk to him, but he just doesn’t share a lot about himself. Like, he’ll never start the conversation. He never gets high, never gets drunks even though he drinks, and I guess he just doesn’t talk that much in general.”

“So maybe he’s just quiet,” Taeyong pointed out. “Or shy.”

Ten shook his head with a thoughtful expression on his face. “Nah, I don’t think that’s it. Or at least, that’s not all there is. Sicheng said that when they were roommates, Jaehyun would hook up with a lot of people. Johnny said he’s never heard of a committed relationship either, so I don’t know.”

At the mention of Jaehyun hooking up with other people, Taeyong couldn’t help but feel a little deflated. Of course Jaehyun was experienced and sexually active—anyone who looked like that could get whoever they wanted. He thought of how he’d just had his first kiss yesterday, and he’d only done it because he’d been too drunk to think straight.

“Anyway, I like Jaehyun, but I guess what Yuta and I are trying to say is that it doesn’t seem like Jaehyun wants the same things you do. But then again, I don’t actually know much about him, so maybe I’m wrong. Just be careful, Tae,” Ten smiled warmly and ruffled Taeyong’s hair.

“Now let’s actually start paying attention to the show,” he turned his attention back to the TV. “I’m not leaving until I find out whether they fuck.”

 

Here’s the thing: Taeyong may not have had much (read: zero) experience with love and relationships, but he wasn’t stupid.

One, he knew that he’d been a bad kisser. He could tell by the way Jaehyun had awkwardly shifted to get into a more natural position. But it was only natural, because an inexperienced Taeyong combined with a drunk Taeyong would definitely suck at kissing.

Two, he noticed that some of the things Ten said about Jaehyun didn’t quite add up with the Jaehyun Taeyong interacted with. Because that time at the bar, Jaehyun had definitely initiated the conversation with that crook of his finger.

Three, Yuta and Ten for sure saw through him. There was no way they didn’t know that Taeyong had a crush on Jaehyun after what, two meetings? It was stupid and Taeyong had a feeling he probably shouldn’t be crushing on someone he barely knew (actually, he really didn’t know anything about Jaehyun besides the fact that he was Yunho’s brother and pretty goddamn angsty), but oh well.

Maybe he was just overanalyzing everything. Maybe he wasn’t actually a bad kisser and Jaehyun was awkward because he didn’t except Taeyong to kiss him. Maybe everything Ten said about Jaehyun was more accurate than whatever Taeyong could have gathered from two conversations. Maybe Yuta and Ten didn’t…actually, he knew for a fact that they knew about his crush.

Four, Jaehyun had kissed back.

 

A few hours after Ten left—or, more like Taeyong had shoved him out the door and told him to go spend some time with Johnny because he was fine, _thank you very much_ —the doorbell rang. Taeyong, who had been deeply engrossed in sending Hyukjae a long apologetic text over his failure to show up to work that day, was jolted out of focus.

When he glanced at the clock, it was already almost nine. Had Ten forgotten something? He got up to answer the door.

Instead of a short Thai man, Taeyong found himself face to face with Donghae.

“Hyung?” He yelped in surprise.

Donghae flashed him a peace sign. “Hi, Taeyongie!”

“Uh, yeah, hi, hyung,” Taeyong tilted his head in confusion. “It’s late though, why are you here?”

Before he could finish his sentence, his brother had already sauntered in and plopped himself down on the couch. “Hyukjae told me you didn’t show up to work today because you were sick. Are you feeling better now? Because if not, I brought the med kit!” Donghae announced, whipping a white box out of nowhere.

Long numb to Donghae’s weird side, Taeyong just smiled appreciatively and shook his head as he joined him on the couch. “Technically not sick, actually. Hungover, but don’t tell Hyukjae-hyung that.”

“Duly noted,” Donghae held a finger up to his lips to signify the agreement. “Hyuk told me that it probably wasn’t anything major, but I insisted on coming here anyway. I haven’t had time to see you since you moved out, and yet he gets to see you every day at work,” he pouted.

“I’ll stop by for dinner sometime,” Taeyong promised. He held his pinky up to be linked with his brother’s. “And I’m sorry for worrying you.”

Donghae grinned as he hooked his pinky with Taeyong’s. “Apology accepted. You’d better show up to dinner in three days. Just let me know if you ever actually need help, okay?”

(If only he’d known how much help Taeyong would need in the near future)

 

“I’m just saying,” Hyukjae snapped into the phone right as Taeyong walked in. “If you want to be like that then go and fuck right off. No one needs a bitch like you anyway. Goodbye, Junsu!”

At that moment, Taeyong didn’t know whether he should run or just be confused. Hyukjae yelling and swearing at Junsu, his best friend? Since when? And what could have caused such a rift?

Hyukjae turned after hanging the phone up. “Oh, hey Taeyong. Feeling better?” He greeted as if Taeyong totally hadn’t just walked in on him shouting.

 _Uhh…_ “Yeah, I’m all good now. Sorry about yesterday, hyung,” Taeyong bowed in apology. “But, um, are you okay? I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but why were you just shouting at Junsu-hyung?”

“Oh, that?” Hyukjae laughed. “That’s nothing, trust me. He’s just annoyed that I cockblocked him by calling to see if he was still on for the dinner party in a couple days. As it turns out, he can’t because he has a date, that little bitch.”

Taeyong was no less confused than before, but he smiled and nodded anyway to pretend he totally understood his in-law’s explanation. No wonder he and Donghae got married.

“Wait,” he paused. “Did you just say that there’s a dinner party in two days?”

“Hmm? Yeah, there is. Donghae even said you’re coming,” Hyukjae replied absentmindedly, already busy typing away on his computer.

Taeyong didn’t bother mentioning that he’d agreed to go to a dinner, but not a dinner party. “Who else is coming? Hyung forget to tell me.”

“Just the usuals. Jeno and Jaemin are coming for sure, and Junsu would have been coming if he weren’t a little bitch,” Hyukjae chuckled. “Oh, and the Jungs, too.”

Taeyong nodded. So just the usual crowd, then. Clearing his throat, he said, “Actually, I came here to deliver the weekly report. You know, the routine check in and all.”

“Ahhh,” Hyukjae nodded. “Well just drop it on my desk and I’ll get to it after I finish this email.”

Obediently, Taeyong left his papers for Hyukjae and headed out. Just as he’d stuck his foot over the threshold, Hyukjae’s voice called out.

“And if you’re still hungover, make sure you drink plenty of water!”

He should have known Donghae could never keep secrets from Hyukjae.

 

“I want a boyfriend,” Jungwoo sighed.

Ten stopped eating to pet Jungwoo’s hair. “Aww, it’s okay, Woo. You’ll get a boyfriend in no time.”

Taeyong frowned. “Excuse me, but how come when I say I want a boyfriend you get all concerned and think I’m being dramatic, but when Jungwoo says it you’re all nice to him?” He grumbled into his chocolate milk.

“Oh, it’s simple,” Ten flippantly waved his hand. “When you say you want a boyfriend, you want eternal love and commitment and marriage and kids and a house with a white picket fence. When Jungwoo here says he wants a boyfriend, he really means he just wants someone to cuddle.”

“I think eternal love sounds nice, too,” Jungwoo sighed dreamily, which Ten promptly ignored.

“How are you literally the only one at this table who has a boyfriend,” Taeyong commented flatly. If looks could kill, Ten would have been long dead.

Ten wiggled his eyebrows. “Is that really something you want to know, Taeyongie?”

“Shut up.”

“We do not tolerate bad words in this house,” Jungwoo teased.

“We’re on lunch break at work, Jungwoo. This isn’t a house.”

Hyukjae’s head popped into the breakroom. “But we are a family, so don’t you dare disrespect my house, Lee Taeyong. What would your brother think of you?” Hyukjae’s tsks could be heard as he walked down the hall.

Taeyong, Ten, and Jungwoo all looked at each other with scandalized expressions. “What the fuck just happened?” Ten blinked repeatedly. “We need to talk about something else. Now.”

“Agreed,” Jungwoo nodded rapidly. “Anyway. The reason why I said I want a boyfriend is because there may be someone in mind…” He trailed off shyly at the end and ducked his head down in an attempt to hide his pink cheeks.

Immediately, Taeyong and Ten pounced on him. “Oh? Do tell more, Woo,” Ten grinned from ear to ear like a cat.

“Ahh, it’s nothing serious!” Jungwoo insisted. “I just met this cute guy at the record store the other day and he was really sweet.

“He works at a record store?” Ten exclaimed. “This is so cute but also so cliché. Woo, you’d better win this boy’s heart over.”

Jungwoo’s blush intensified. “Stooooop, hyung.”

Taeyong, on the other hand, shot Ten an unimpressed look. “You literally met Johnny when you got shitfaced at his bar and the bartender had to call him out because you were dancing on the tables. Johnny called the cops on you and then you went back to seduce him after I bailed you out. And the worst part is that you actually managed to sleep with him.”

“The beginning to an epic romance,” Ten sighed fondly.

“You’re an idiot,” both Taeyong and Jungwoo said at the same time.

 

Jeno waved. “Hey, hyung.”

His fingers, Taeyong noted, were covered with orange dust. “Did you break into my Cheetos cabinet?”

“Guilty,” Jeno smiled unapologetically. “And before you ask why I’m here, it’s because you have better snacks.”

“Mmhmm. Right,” Taeyong agreed. At this point, he’d already surrendered to the inevitable fact that Jeno would crash at his place every now and then. What he wasn’t used to, however, was finding Jeno without Jaemin. “You want dinner too, I’m guessing?” he asked, already on his way to the kitchen.

Jeno grinned. “You know me so well, hyung.”

Privately, Taeyong smiled. He really did love Jeno a lot, even if that meant dealing with unannounced visits. “Is Jaemin coming?” He called out.

The silence lasted a beat too long. “No,” Jeno finally replied. His voice held a tinge of awkwardness, like he was trying too hard to act casual. “He can’t make it.”

Now that, Taeyong thought, didn’t sound quite right. After Donghae and Hyukjae, Jeno and Jaemin were the clingiest couple to exist. One never left without the other, and Taeyong also knew that Jaemin never resisted the idea of free food.

Marching back to the living room, Taeyong stood with his hands on his hips in front of his brother. “Alright, Jeno, tell me the truth. Did you get into a fight?”

The way Jeno very intensely stared at his cuticles told all.

“What happened?” Taeyong questioned. He sat down and wrapped an arm around Jeno’s shoulder.

“I’m not sure,” Jeno admitted quietly, leaning his head against Taeyong’s shoulder. “I came home and he seemed really stressed. I think studying for midterms is really taking a toll on him. So I tried to calm him and said we should take a walk, but then he snapped and said he didn’t need to waste any more time with me when he already had to come to dinner tomorrow.”

At that point, the tears were freefalling from Jeno’s eyes. “What do I do, hyung? I like spending time with him and I thought he liked having me around too. Does he really want us to not be together so much?”

 _Oh shit_. Taeyong was really out of his element here. Awkwardly, he stroked Jeno’s hair and said, “I think Jaemin was just stressed. He wouldn’t say that to you normally.”

“But doesn’t the fact that he said it mean that’s how he’s been feeling this whole time?” Jeno sniffled. “I know I’m clingy and I latch onto people, so I get where he’s coming from. What if he really thinks I’ve been annoying this whole time?”

God, Taeyong had no idea what to do. “Jeno, I don’t think I’m the right person to ask for advice. You’d be better off talking to Donghae-hyung,” he suggested.

“Already called him before you got home. He just said that if we give each other a little space the issue will blow over soon,” Jeno replied miserably.

“See? Even hyung says that everything will be okay,” Taeyong smiled. “I don’t know about you, but I trust someone who’s been with the same person for twenty years.”

Jeno groaned. “Yeah, but Donghae-hyung’s different. He and Hyukjae-hyung never fight. They’re like, the perfect couple.”

“And so are you and Jaemin,” Taeyong poked his brother’s cheek. “I’ll make your favorite soup, and then you’re going to go home and talk to your boyfriend. Deal?”

Hesitantly, Jeno smiled a little and nodded. “Deal.”

 

Everything he knew about love may mostly come from books and dramas, but Taeyong was sure of one thing: Relationships needed a strong foundation.

Donghae and Hyukjae, for example, met when they were fourteen (five year old Taeyong had actually been there for their first meeting, funnily enough). They started off as friends, then best friends, and then started dating when they were seventeen. And since then, well, the rest is history. They were, without a doubt, Taeyong’s favorite love story.

Jeno and Jaemin didn’t quite have the same fairytale effect to their story, but Taeyong still thought it was cute. They met in middle school through mutual friends and became good friends. In high school, they drifted apart. Then college came and they went off to different universities in Seoul. A few months into freshman year, they met again on a blind date. Now the boys were in their third year and still going strong.

At least, Taeyong hoped they still were. As he washed the dishes, he couldn’t help but wonder if Jeno would actually talk to Jaemin or just awkwardly avoid him once he got home. Jeno was bright and energetic, but if he had one weakness, he loved too hard. It was the same with Donghae, who loved so earnestly with his whole heart on his sleeve. As far as Taeyong knew, Donghae and Hyukjae didn’t fight, but he could only imagine how heartbroken Donghae would be if it happened. Jeno and Jaemin’s argument didn’t seem that major, but Taeyong knew it would take some time before Jeno stopped worrying.

Then again, Taeyong just didn’t know a lot about love.

 

“I think it’ll be fine,” Donghae said. “They’re both mature and like each other a lot, so they’re probably already okay.”

Taeyong bit his index nail nervously. “I think so too, but do you think they’ve already made up?”

Donghae frowned in concentration as he carefully placed the ham onto the serving platter. “Maybe. We’ll find out in a few minutes, anyway. If Jaemin comes then they’re probably fine, but if not then we could talk to Jeno again. Fights are always messy though, so I wouldn’t be surprised if this takes some time.”

“You’re right,” Taeyong sighed. He got up to help Donghae transport the salad to the dining table. Suddenly, he remembered something Jeno had said. “Hyung, do you and Hyukjae-hyung ever fight?”

“Of course we do,” Donghae replied. “Haven’t you ever seen us together? We’re always bickering.”

“No but like, really fight. Like when you actually get angry.”

“Obviously we do.”

Taeyong blinked in surprise at the nonchalant response. Donghae must have noticed his confused expression, because he smiled gently and said, “Taeyongie, fights are inevitable. I’m pretty sure we’ve both made each other cry a few times, but we’ve always resolved our issues later. It’s impossible to have a relationship and not argue, but it’s more than possible to fix things.”

He looked like he had more to say, but then the ringing of the doorbell interrupted them. Donghae hurried off to answer it, but not without giving Taeyong’s shoulder a firm squeeze. “Don’t worry so much all the time,” he said softly before leaving.

As Taeyong followed him out to greet the guests, he couldn’t help but wonder how many false assumptions he’d made about love. He’d always had this image of Donghae and Hyukjae as a perfect couple—and they still were—but he’d never even fathomed the idea of them fighting. They bickered all the time, that was true, but it was always cute. Taeyong couldn’t even imagine them having a real fight.

But any inner musings were immediately shoved aside when Taeyong saw Jeno and Jaemin in the mudroom talking to Donghae and Hyukjae. There was something a little awkward about the way the younger couple stood together, but judging by the way their hands were linked together, Taeyong had a feeling they were okay.

Donghae ushered everyone into the living room. When Jaemin was busy speaking to Hyukjae about something, Taeyong made eye contact with Jeno and stuck his tongue out.

_What did I say, dummy?_

Jeno made a face back, but the relief in his eyes was enough.

_Shut up, hyung._

The doorbell rang again. Taeyong excused himself, and upon opening the door, he was greeted by a pair of arms grabbing him around the waist and lifting him up.

“Still skinny as ever!” Yunho laughed, even going so far as to toss Taeyong up and down in the air like a rag doll.

“Oh my god, put the poor thing down,” Sooyeon chided as she hit her brother on the shoulder. When Taeyong was safely back down on the ground, she smiled and gave him a hug. “It’s good to see you again, Taeyongie. On behalf of the Jung family, I’d like to apologize for my brother’s existence,” Sooyeon remarked dryly.

Taeyong, who’d grown up getting tossed about by Yunho, giggled. “It’s alright, noona.”

“It’s really not,” Soojung chimed in. “Unnie and I keep telling him to stop being annoying, but he never listens to us.”

Yunho’s expression twisted into one of mock offense. “What’s wrong with expressing a little love, ice princesses?” He retorted.

Both sisters merely rolled their eyes and left the room.

“Oh well,” Yunho laughed again. He hugged Taeyong properly, said, “Nice to see you again,” and followed his sisters to the living room.

Dinner went as per usual. Sooyeon and Soojung teased Yunho relentlessly about his latest breakup (“I just haven’t found the one yet!”) while Donghae kept on bringing up embarrassing stories to egg the sisters on even more. Then Hyukjae and Yunho started discussing dancing, which opened up the conversation to talking about D&E Studios in general (“Seriously, Hyukjae-hyung,” Jeno remarked at one point. “Why not just E Studios? Donghae-hyung doesn’t work there!”).

(As expected, Hyukjae ignored that comment from Jeno).

Halfway through the salad, the bell rang. Jeno looked up in confusion. “Was someone else supposed to come?” He wondered out loud.

Taeyong shrugged and stood up. “I’ll go see who it is.”

“It’s probably that bitch Junsu,” Hyukjae grumbled through a mouthful of lettuce. “Tell that fucker he can starve outside for all I care!”

“Will do,” Taeyong laughed.

He swung open the door, fully prepared to tease Junsu, but the words immediately died in his throat. It wasn’t Junsu.

It was Jaehyun.

 

Long before he realized he was straight, eight year old Taeyong once tried to impress a girl by crossing the monkey bars by skipping every other bar. After one successful manoeuver, he promptly missed the next bar and fell face first onto the ground. His chest hit the pebbles so hard that he actually blacked out for a few seconds and stopped breathing.

That was pretty much how he felt now, except he didn’t faint.

Jaehyun donned black slacks and a dark blue dress shirt. The first few buttons of the shirt were unfastened and he’d rolled his sleeves up to his elbows. It’d been what, three days, since that night at the club? Taeyong had spent more time than he’d ever admit to Ten and Yuta thinking of the way Jaehyun had looked—the way his black T-shirt showed peeks of his collarbones and how beautiful he’d looked under the disco lights—but actually seeing the real person right in front of him? For a moment, he really couldn’t breathe.

Too preoccupied by the thoughts running through his head, Taeyong had forgotten what was actually going on. Jaehyun shifted on the balls of his feet and said, “You’re staring again.”

Taeyong snapped out of his dazed state. “Sorry, sorry,” he apologized, his hands fluttering around frantically. “I just, uh, didn’t know you were coming. You caught me by surprise, that’s all.” He attempted a smile, but it just came off as awkward and strained.

Jaehyun ran a hand through his black hair ( no , Taeyong chided himself, do not pay attention to that), the tension in the air multiplying by the second. “Maybe I should go—” he started, only to be interrupted by a shout of, “Who’s there?” by Hyukjae.

Taeyong jumped. Grabbing Jaehyun’s wrist, he led the newcomer into the dining room.

“Oh?” Yunho exclaimed in surprise. “Jae? You made it?”

“Yeah, sorry for all the confusion,” Jaehyun smiled apologetically. “I wasn’t sure if I could come, but I got off work early today so I figured I should.”

“No worries!” Donghae quickly pulled up another chair and grabbed a plate for him. “We’re glad you’re here.”

Literally what the fuck.

Suddenly noticing everyone’s eyes on him, Taeyong realized he’d said that out loud. He blushed and mumbled, “I didn’t know Jaehyun was even invited.”

“Didn’t I tell you the Jungs were coming?” Hyukjae pointed out.

Ah, Taeyong thought. Of course. Despite never having come over for dinner before, Jaehyun was still very much a Jung. Donghae and Hyukjae even knew him well enough to invite him to their wedding, so obviously they would invite Jaehyun to dinner if they were also inviting his siblings. Feeling stupid, he muttered some unintelligible apology before quickly dropping back down into his seat.

In hindsight, Taeyong really should have seen this coming.

 

“And then Taemin and Jongin got so drunk they literally walked up on the stage, shoved the dancers away, and started their own stripping routine,” Soojung giggled. “They kept on shouting for me to join them, but obviously I didn’t. The manager eventually came and kicked us out, and now we’re banned from ever going back. They literally took headshots of us, too.”

Sooyeon raised a perfect brow. “I feel like I shouldn’t be tolerating this kind of behavior from my little sister, but at the same time, that’s a pretty great story,” she begrudgingly admitted.

“As the big brother, I feel obligated to give Taemin and Jongin a strict talking to,” Yunho mused.

“Oh please,” Soojung smirked. “You know you would have just joined them.”

And quite frankly, Yunho had nothing to say to that.

“So Jaehyun,” Donghae shifted the conversation towards the mostly silent Jung sibling. “I’ve heard you decided to stay in Korea for good now?”

Taeyong couldn’t help but notice the way Jaehyun stiffened just slightly. But then it was gone and Jaehyun was shooting Donghae a polite smile.

“Yeah, I’ve decided to settle down for a bit. I’ll probably stick around for a while,” he responded.

“How’s Jaejoong-oppa treating you?” Sooyeon asked.

“Nice as always,” Jaehyun answered smoothly. “But I’m still not givin Yunho-hyung his number,” he added with a small smirk.

Yunho choken on his wine. “Why is literally everyone attacking me?” He whined.

“Shhh, oppa,” Soojung placed her finger over his mouth.

Out of nowhere, Taeyong felt a foot run over his. Bewildered, he glanced under the table and immediately knew who the culprit was. “Lee Jeno, the next time you want to play footsie with your boyfriend, make sure you don’t accidentally do it to your brother instead.”

Jeno and Jaemin jumped in unison, identical sheepish smiles decorating their faces.

(Taeyong totally didn’t sneak a glance over catch Jaehyun watching with amusement. Nope)

“Goddamnit, they’re just like you two,” Yunho gestured to Donghae and Hyukjae.

Donghae, who’d been holding hands with Hyukjae and absentmindedly stroking his thumb over his husband’s, smiled innocently. “What’s wrong with that?”

“Yeah, oppa,” Sooyeon elbowed her brother. “They’re adorable. You’re just sad because you’re forever alone.”

Relatable, Taeyong thought to himself.

Yunho groaned. “Again, Sooyeon? Why must you always roast me?”

Soojung leaned over to Taeyong. “She’s not exactly wrong,” she fake whispered, mischief flinting in her eyes.

“I need to find new siblings,” Yunho grumbled. “Ones that actually respect me as the oldest. My sisters don’t stop roasting me and my brother won’t give me his boss’s number. Donghae, how are your brothers are so nice to you?”

“He’s cooler than you,” Jeno, who usually didn’t speak much at these events, jumped in.

Yunho looked completely, utterly defeated.

After they finished eating, Hyukjae led the guests over to the living room with temptations of more wine. Taeyong initially stayed behind to help Donghae clean, but his brother quickly shooed him away with whispers of “Go be social!”

In the living room, Jeno and Jaemin were cuddled up on the loveseat—clearly they’d resolved their fight—while Sooyeon, Soojung, and Hyukjae were still battering Yunho. Jaehyun was nowhere to be seen, but then Taeyong noticed a figure standing alone on the balcony. It didn’t take a genius to figure out who it was.

Taeyong hadn’t drunk anything tonight, but somehow, he felt brave enough to go join Jaehyun in the chilly fall air.

“Hi...” he trailed off, not quite sure where to begin now that he’d gotten here.

Jaehyun didn’t respond. When Taeyong got closer, he saw that Jaehyun was playing with his lighter. He used an old-fashioned looking one with engravings and a cap that flipped open, and somehow that matched him so well.

“It’s a little rude to smoke at someone’s house without asking first,” Taeyong attempted to joke, but the awkwardness was evident in his shaky voice.

“I know that,” Jaehyun forcefully flicked the lid shut and curled his fist around the lighter. “And don’t worry, I wasn’t about to smoke. Ran out after I left work.”

Taeyong took another step closer. “Do you smoke a lot?”

With a deep sigh, Jaehyun turned to him and said, “It gets worse when I’m stressed.”

 _Oh._ Taeyong’s face flushed in shame. Jaehyun was stressed because he didn’t want to see him again. Understandable, really, after what happened at the club, but Taeyong still felt a pang in his chest.

“Don’t look so embarrassed,” Jaehyun’s voice cut through his thoughts. “It’s fine now. You don’t need to keep acting all nervous.”

Taeyong didn’t know a lot about love. He didn’t know much about the inner workings of relationships. His advice was shit. Before Jaehyun, he’d never been kissed.

So maybe he was a fool for still gravitating towards Jung Jaehyun, and maybe he should have listened to Ten and Yuta’s advice. He desperately wanted to remind Jaehyun that he’d kissed back, that whatever happened hadn’t been completely one-sided. But right now, Taeyong really didn’t want to let Jaehyun leave without fixing whatever this was suffocating them. The matter of whether Jaehyun kissed back (and Taeyong was sure he did) could wait.

“Jaehyun, I’m sorry about forcing myself upon you,” Taeyong blurted out. “I was drunk and obviously that doesn’t make it any better, but I really don’t want you to hate me. I mean, our brothers are friends and we’re in the same friend group, so I don’t want things to be awkward. So, can we just move on? I…I’d really like to be friends with you,” he added on the last part quietly, his courage quickly leaving him.

For a long, long time, Jaehyun didn’t respond. He didn’t even show a sign that he’d heard anything Taeyong had said, because he kept on staring straight ahead and not at the boy next to him. Taeyong watched the way Jaehyun’s long fingers nimbly flipped the lighter cap over and over again as he waited for an answer—or at least just some acknowledgment, just anything.

And then Jaehyun let out a short laugh of what sounded like disbelief. He finally turned to face Taeyong, and for the first time, he genuinely smiled. “Alright, hyung. We’re good.”

(Jaehyun, Taeyong mused, had really nice dimples. He hadn’t seen them before, but maybe that was because they only came with real smiles and not the twisted, fleeting ones he’d seen before)

“Friends?” Taeyong perked up in relief. He held his pinky out on reflex, but then realized how childish the gesture was and retracted his hand.

Jaehyun’s dimples deepened when he noticed Taeyong’s shyness. “I’m not really a pinky promise kind of person, so I’m gonna have to decline that offer. But, okay. Friends.”

 

Five, Taeyong wanted to see those dimples every day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little messy and has some filler parts in it to establish some of other characters and setting, but i hope it wasn't too confusing. Also, I apologize once again for any grammar or spelling errors. And I also would like to think I'm funny sometimes, but I can't guarantee that.
> 
> I saw this edit on Twitter once of Yunho, Jessica, Krystal, and Jaehyun as Jung siblings and that has changed my life. Hence, this fic. And there's just something about an angsty Jaehyun that I can't resist.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love making people suffer.
> 
> Enjoy all the SM cameos. SMTown is the best (not including the executives, cuz, ya know)

Jaehyun, Taeyong learned, smiled a lot, but only when people weren’t looking.

 

The first time he noticed was a few days after the dinner party. Taeyong was bustling around the hallways of D&E while searching for Jongdae, one of the vocal coaches. He turned a corner and the next thing he knew, his nose collided with a shoulder.

 

“Ouch,” Taeyong whimpered, reeling back and clutching his nose in pain. It wasn’t bleeding, thank god, but it still hurt more than it probably should.

 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” a deep and familiar voice interrupted Taeyong’s self-pity party. “Sorry, I didn’t see you.”

 

Taeyong’s head snapped up, his nose forgotten. “Jaehyun? What are you doing here?” He exclaimed with wide eyes.

 

Jaehyun rubbed the back of neck with a sheepish set to his mouth (Taeyong totally wasn’t fixated on the way his arms looked in that white dress shirt. Obviously he wasn’t). “Yunho-hyung’s car got totaled yesterday, so he’s making me drive him around. He told me to come inside though because he has some boxes or something he needs to load,” Jaehyun explained.

 

“Ah…” Taeyong trailed off awkwardly. He cleared his throat, said, “Well, uh, he just finished his last class like ten minutes ago, so you’ll probably find him in—”

 

“Jaehyun!”

 

“—his office. Or here, I guess.”

 

Yunho jogged down the hall with a stack of boxes so high he couldn’t even see over them. “Hey, Jae, I still have a few more in the office, so can you take these down first? Oh, hi Taeyong,” he added on as an afterthought when he noticed the other’s presence.

 

“What the hell even is all this,” Jaehyun stared at the pile in bewilderment.

 

Yunho let out a deep sigh. “A few days ago Hyukjae told me that my office is turning into a hoarder’s den of cleaning supplies, and he told me that if I didn’t get rid of them by today he’d kick me out and let Taeyeon have my office. Sucks for him though, because I hid some air freshener in my desk.” He shot Taeyong a worried look. “Uhh, Taeyongie, you definitely won’t tell him, right? Please don’t. If Taeyeon gets my office she’ll tell Sooyeon and then she’ll never let me live it down.”

 

Taeyong, who knew all too well the struggle of trying to squeeze between all of Yunho’s cleaning supplies, giggled. “Sure, hyung.”

 

(A few months ago, Hyukjae had forced Taeyong to do the exact same thing. Except Taeyong to do this day still had a locked filing cabinet of Febreeze)

 

“Right,” Jaehyun still looked less than convinced. “So why couldn’t you have done this when you still had your car? Why did you wait until now?”

 

“Because you’re my younger brother and I have power over you,” Yunho replied smoothly. “Now start loading the car. I need to get the rest of the stuff,” he called over his shoulder as he walked back to his office.

 

Jaehyun shook his head. “Unbelievable,” he muttered under his breath. “Hyung is something else.”

 

Taeyong, who’d been about to politely excuse himself and continue his search for Jongdae, paused. Maybe it was just a trick of the light (unlikely because artificial light didn’t do that), but Taeyong saw Jaehyun smile—a genuine one with dimples—and the sight was too much for his heart.

 

Then Jaehyun shot him a strange look, effectively snapping Taeyong out of his swooning stage. “Aren’t you going to help?” Jaehyun said with the slightest of smirks.

 

Taeyong blinked. “Oh…I actually have to go find someone right now—oh!” He yelped as Jaehyun got closer and closer to him, until suddenly one of the large boxes appeared in Taeyong’s arms.

 

“Thanks, hyung,” Jaehyun grinned—no dimples this time, Taeyong noted with disappointment.

 

With no other option, Taeyong resigned himself to his fate and followed Jaehyun to the lobby. He snuck peeks at him every now and then, marveling at Jaehyun’s side profile and the way he bit his lip in concentration.

 

“You know,” Jaehyun remarked. “My sisters like to joke about how you’re my brother’s boss.”

 

Taeyong blinked again. The Jungs talked about him? “Not really? Hyukjae-hyung’s the owner, I’m just the manager. Most of the employees have been here way longer than I have, and they’re usually older too,” he shrugged. “I’ve only had this job for a few years. Before me it was this guy called Sungmin, but then he got married and moved to his wife’s hometown.”

 

“Mmm,” Jaehyun nodded. “But you’re still technically in a higher position than Yunho-hyung, right? Sooyeon was telling him the other day that he should start addressing you more formally,” he laughed.

 

The mere thought of Yunho speaking formally to Taeyong was way too unbelievable, not to mention weird. Taeyong tried to imagine it and simply couldn’t.

 

“Where do you work, Jaehyun?” Taeyong asked, acutely aware of how little he actually knew about Jaehyun. Based on the way Jaehyun had been dressed at the dinner and now, it looked as if he worked somewhere with a strict dress code. Hyukjae had scoffed at the idea of a dress code at D&E and let his workers wear whatever they wanted. Taeyong suddenly felt very underdressed in his oversized blue sweater and ripped black jeans.

 

“You ever heard of Kim Jaejoong?” Jaehyun replied back with his own question.

 

Taeyong frowned in thought. “That CEO who built the park a few blocks away?”

 

Jaehyun nodded. “Yeah, him. I work in accounting at JYJ.”

 

Now _that_ , Taeyong didn’t see coming. He’d expected Jaehyun to be involved in the arts. A photographer or painter, or maybe an architect. Any kind of desk job seemed far too ordinary for him, and working with numbers felt even more out of place.

 

“Anyway,” Jaehyun said as they reached his car. “Yunho-hyung met Jaejoong once and he’s been harassing me for his never ever since. Unfortunately, it would be creepy for me to just hand out my boss’s number, so I’ve refused every time.”

 

Taeyong laughed. “From what I’ve heard, Yunho-hyung’s always been a bit unlucky in love,” he giggled upon thinking of all the stories Donghae used to tell him and Jeno.

 

“That’s one way to put it,” Jaehyun responded with a thin grimace. He sighed as he loaded the boxes with more force than necessary into the trunk of his (very expensive, Taeyong noticed) car. “Goddammit, I just know he’s gonna make me chauffeur him even after he gets his car back. Hyung never lets me live,” he groaned.

 

Taeyong thought back to the time he’d almost walked in on the brothers arguing in Yunho’s office. When they came to dinner, there’d been no evidence of any tension between them, and they certainly seemed fine right now. Taeyong wanted to ask, but he knew that would be crossing too many boundaries when he and Jaehyun had only recently become friends.

 

Jaehyun, upon noticing Taeyong’s silent ponderings, reached over and poked him on the shoulder, effectively startling him out of his reverie. “Thanks for helping, Taeyong-hyung. I’ll just make Yunho-hyung carry the rest of his shit down, so you should go back in and find whoever you were looking for.”

 

He smiled again, but it wasn’t big enough to be quite real. Taeyong took in a deep breath and mustered up all his courage to say, “Jaehyun, can I have your number?”

 

“Sorry, don’t have a phone.”

 

 _What. The. Fuck._ Taeyong stared up at him in absolute disbelief.

And then the dimples in Jaehyun’s cheeks appeared. “Kidding,” he grinned. He dug his phone out of his pocket and dropped it in Taeyong’s hands. “Go ahead. I don’t have a passcode.”

 

Taeyong pouted. “First of all, who jokes about not having a phone, and also it’s not safe to not have a passcode,” he muttered as he turned the phone on. He also unlocked and handed his own phone over to Jaehyun to let him do the same.

 

The lock screen and home screen were both the default backgrounds. Taeyong, whose own backgrounds were of him with his brothers, thought that Jaehyun’s phone felt so impersonal. No passcode and no customized backgrounds struck him as rather strange.

 

He was about to pass the phone back when he finished typing in his number, but then he got an idea. Taeyong held the phone up and posed with the peace sign, making sure to pout just a little bit to add an extra cute factor.

 

“Seriously?” Jaehyun deadpanned. “Selfies on someone else’s phone? We’re already at this point?”

 

“It’s just for my contact photo!” Taeyong whined as he finally handed it back to its owner.

 

Jaehyun glanced down to examine the selfie. “How cute,” he smirked.

 

And with that, Taeyong officially lost it. Well aware of his ruddy cheeks, he muttered a quick excuse and bolted back inside the studio.

 

 

 

Ten whistled lowly. “Damn. You’re a lot smoother than I thought, Yong, but you’re also still as panicked as panicked gays come,” he commented as he sipped on his latte.

 

“You can’t just call me cute and expect me not to panic,” Taeyong whined, falling over and resting his cheek against the surface of the café table.

 

“Lies,” Ten rolled his eyes. “I call you cute all the time. So do Jungwoo, Taeil-hyung, and literally all of the noonas at the studio. When you interviewed her for the job, Taeyeon-noona literally started cooing over how adorable you were and you didn’t break down that badly. My point is, you don’t panic when we say it.”

 

“Ten. Shut up.”

 

“I speak nothing but the truth and you know it.”

 

Taeyong pouted up at his best friend. “Tennie, why is he suddenly so nice though? I don’t understand.”

 

Slowly and very meticulously, Ten set his drink down and traced the handle of the mug. “Taeyong, like I said before, I don’t actually know Jaehyun that much. Johnny knows way more. I support you and Jaehyun being friends, but you probably shouldn’t expect much more,” he spoke as if he were dancing around a minefield.

 

The blood rushed to Taeyong’s face. “It’s not a crush!” He insisted, but the words sounded fake even to his own ears. “I just don’t get people who can be so hot and cold all the time. Did you know that he’s an accountant, Ten? _An accountant_? He’s all distant and aloof but then it turns out he’s just an ordinary guy. Who even is he, really?”

 

“He’s an accountant?” Ten raised a surprised brow. “Johnny never mentioned that.”

 

“Johnny never mentioned what?” Johnny asked as he dropped into the seat next to Ten’s.

 

A smile immediately broke across Ten’s face as he leaned over to peck Johnny on the lips. “Oh, nothing. We were just talking about Jaehyun,” he replied breezily.

 

Taeyong nearly did a spittake. “Ten! Don’t just say that!” He whined, incredulous at Ten’s utter and complete lack of shame.

 

“Don’t just say what?” Jaehyun wondered as he seated himself next to Taeyong.

 

“What the fuck!” Taeyong shrieked, jumping a foot in the air.

 

Jaehyun, completely unconcerned by Taeyong’s outburst, reached over to grab a menu. “I haven’t been here before. What’s good?”

 

“I’m a big fan of the iced Americanos,” Johnny rubbed his chin in thought. “The hot chocolate is great, too. Or if you want a pastry they’re all good.”

 

“Oh?” Jaehyun flipped a page of the menu. “What do you think, Ten?”

 

Ten, Taeyong’s trustworthy _best friend for life_ , picked up another menu and started rifling through it himself. “If you want a full meal then I’d recommend one of the sandwiches,” Ten mused.

 

Taeyong, who couldn’t comprehend how everyone was just going about their business normally when two people had just suddenly joined the conversation out of seemingly nothing, found no better option than to drop his head against the table.

 

“Careful,” Jaehyun commented without even lifting his eyes from the menu.

 

Snapping back to his senses, Taeyong shot up and glared at the intruders. “When did you get here, and why are you here?” He demanded.

 

“Ten texted me while I was hanging out with Jae, so we decided to both drop by,” Johnny explained while he attempted to get a waitress’s attention.

 

Taeyong turned his glare to Ten, who merely smirked. _Judas_ , Taeyong mouthed.

 

In return, Ten mouthed: _Panicked gay._

After Johnny and Jaehyun ordered and got their food, Ten tugged on Johnny’s sleeve. “Are you still closing the bar early for the party?”

 

“Mmm,” Johnny nodded through his Americano. “Yeah. Everyone knows already.”

 

“What party?” Jaehyun raised a brow.

 

“Sicheng and Yuta’s birthdays are two days apart, so we’re holding a party on the day in between,” Taeyong replied. “Are you coming?” He asked, trying his best to keep his voice neutral and totally not like he wanted Jaehyun to be there.

 

Jaehyun shrugged. He took a bite of his strawberry cake (Jaehyun had a sweet tooth?) and a sip from his black coffee (ah, that made more sense). “Maybe. My sisters said they were planning something, but I can probably get out of it if I mention Sicheng. I might convince them to come because they love Sicheng so much.”

 

 _Your sisters love me, too_ , Taeyong almost said out loud, but at the last second it turned out he did have a filter.

 

“Oh, shit,” Ten swore as he looked down at his phone. “Shit. I need to go. I completely forgot that Hyoyeon-noona asked me to cover a class for her,” he explained, hastily downing the contents of his mug in one gulp and snatching his bag.

 

Johnny stood up too. “I’ll give you a ride,” he offered.

 

Ten sighed in relief. “Oh, bless you, Johnny Seo,” he grinned and planted a kiss on Johnny’s lips. The couple waved at Taeyong and Jaehyun as they left the café.

 

Taeyong, suddenly very much aware of the fact that it was just him and Jaehyun left, shifted in his seat. “So, uh, how did transporting all of Yunho-hyung’s cleaning supplies go?”

 

“Unfortunately, they’re all still in my car because hyung’s a lying bastard,” Jaehyun deadpanned, placing another forkful of cake into his mouth way too calmly for his previous statement. “Made some excuse that he was too tired to bring all the boxes in or something. I guarantee he’s just going to leave them in my car forever or find a way to sneak them back to his office.”

 

What, Taeyong pondered, on earth even was Jaehyun and Yunho’s relationship? Barring the one time he’d witnessed them arguing, they seemed pretty close despite their eleven year age gap. Jaehyun didn’t exactly refer to him with much respect, but he was still going and driving Yunho around when he didn’t have a car. Compared to Taeyong and Donghae’s nothing-but-love relationship, Jaehyun and Yunho had a far more bizarre dynamic.

 

“But anyway” Jaehyun shrugged. “If he doesn’t get his shit out by the end of the week I’ll just throw them in Soojung’s car. And after another week she’ll just give them to Sooyeon, who’ll finally hand them off to Yunho-hyung. It’ll all work out eventually.”

 

Taeyong peered at him in curiosity. “Why do you only use honorifics with Yunho-hyung? Why not your sisters?” He’d first noticed that when they were loading Yunho’s boxes, and it had bothered him ever since. Did Jaehyun not respect his sisters? If so, why did he bicker with Yunho so much but not with Sooyeon and Soojung?

 

Jaehyun took his time to painstakingly examine his half-finished strawberry cake. “Well, hyung’s spent his whole life in Korea, but my sisters and I haven’t. Sooyeon went to a private school in California when she was eight, and Soojung followed her when she was five. Then I went to a school in Connecticut—you probably haven’t heard of it but it’s on the East coast of America. We only came back to Seoul during the summer, so we just got used to talking like Americans. We mostly just use our English names when it’s only the three of us, actually.”

 

The way Jaehyun spoke sounded as if he was trying his best to open up, but was still withholding a lot of information. The guarded expression in his eyes was back, and Taeyong knew he probably shouldn’t pry anymore, but he chose to push Jaehyun a little more anyway.

 

“Why did you go to America so young? Why not wait until you were at least in high school? And why did only the three of you go there and not Yunho-hyung?”

 

Jaehyun laced his fingers together and rested his chin on top of them as he stared Taeyong straight in the eye. “You really have no care for boundaries, do you, hyung? First staring, then eavesdropping, and now you’re trying to dig into my personal history?” He remarked dryly.

 

“Eavesdropping?” Taeyong blanched. Jaehyun had never caught him eavesdropping before, right? Taeyong couldn’t remember any such instance except…oh.

 

“I wasn’t listening to you,” he insisted, his hands fluttering around nervously. “I swear I didn’t hear anything. I just walked in to talk to Yunho-hyung and I saw you so I left and—”

 

Jaehyun got up from his seat. “I get it, Taeyong-hyung. It’s fine,” he said, each word clipped with absolute finality.

 

Taeyong hung his head with shame. “I’m still sorry,” he whispered, not even sure if Jaehyun heard or cared to hear.

 

The next thing Jaehyun did surprised him. Jaehyun exhaled wearily and pushed his plate of strawberry cake forward with two fingers. Taeyong’s eyes widened when the plate stopped right in front of him, and when he looked up, Jaehyun’s smile was sad and tired, but somehow his dimples still showed up.

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Jaehyun murmured. As he turned to go, he added, “I don’t like sweets.”

 

 

 

Donghae and Hyukjae sprang apart the second Taeyong dashed into the living room. “Oh, hi, Yongie,” Donghae panted as he attempted to fix his very obviously rumpled collar. “What’s up?”

 

Hyukjae could only nod rapidly with a fixed smile.

 

Meanwhile, Taeyong did feel a little embarrassed that he’d just interrupted his brother’s makeout session with his husband, but it was already too late and desperate times called for desperate measures. Besides, when he was thirteen he’d accidentally walked in on them literally unbuckling each other’s belts, so this was nothing new.

 

“What does it mean,” Taeyong placed his hands on his hips as he stood in the middle of the living room. “When someone gets all passive aggressive about something you did, and you try apologizing, but then they just look all sad and say it’s fine. And before they got all passive aggressive they’d ordered strawberry cake but didn’t finish it and gave the rest to you because as it turns out, they don’t even like sweets in the first place? Any ideas?”

 

Donghae and Hyukjae turned their heads in sync and stared at each other in bewilderment, their mutual expressions of confusing clearly saying, _What the actual fuck?_ Then, once again in sync, they turned back to Taeyong, who’d started pacing back and forth.

 

“I mean, was he planning on giving it to me all along? Why would he do that? We only just became friends recently, and how did he even know I have a sweet tooth? Was it because I ate a lot of desserts at dinner? Or did he just guess based on appearance? But why wasn’t he more mad when he’s totally in the right to be mad? I just don’t—”

 

“Okay, time out,” Donghae held his hands up to form a T. “Right. So first of all, how did you get in here?”

 

Taeyong shrugged. “Jeno left his secret copy of your key at my place the other day.”

 

Donghae paused. “Uhh, that’s a matter I think should be addressed on another day. But anyway. Let’s get back to the main issue at hand. If I heard correctly, some boy bought a cake he doesn’t like, then got mad at you for something you clearly think you did wrong, and when you tried to apologize—I’m assuming you over-apologized like you always do—he just gave you the rest of the cake?”

 

Taeyong nodded emphatically.

 

“Did you eat the cake?” Hyukjae interjected.

 

“Not now, Hyuk,” Donghae swatted at his husband. “Okay, well that all makes perfect sense. And I’m assuming that this boy is none other than Jung Jaehyun?”

 

Taeyong spluttered and turned bright red. “W-why would you just assume something like that?”

 

Hyukjae rolled his eyes. “Taeyong, we’re not blind. We saw the way you kept on looking at him during dinner. Sooyeon and Soojung started giggling up a storm when they saw you follow him out to the deck,” he pointed out dryly. “Hell, even Jeno and Jaemin noticed. You’re not good at being subtle.”

 

“Be nice to him!” Donghae hissed. He tried to swat Hyukjae again, but the latter simply caught his hand and linked their fingers together. “It’s okay to have a crush, Taeyong. But all the overanalyzing and overreacting comes with crushes, even though in the end you’ll realize it’s not that big of a deal. Just keep being nice and learn more about each other and then you can start thinking about dating him.”

 

“I don’t want to date him! I just want to…get closer…” Taeyong stopped talking when he realized how unconvincing he sounded.

 

Donghae smiled sympathetically and beckoned for his brother to come closer. When Taeyong plopped down next to him on the couch, Donghae wrapped his free arm around Taeyong’s shoulders comfortingly. “Look, Taeyongie, I don’t know a lot about your specific situation. I have no idea why Jaehyun would buy cake and then just give it to you—I mean, it sounds like he could be flirting, but maybe he’s just being nice. I don’t even know what you did to make him upset, so I have no idea how bad it actually was. Crushes suck; I get that. Just try your best, and that’s all you can do,” Donghae nuzzled his cheek against the top of Taeyong’s head to soothe him. “I know you and Jeno both think I have all the love advice in the world, but I really don’t. I just got lucky because I found my perfect idiot early.”

 

“Your perfect idiot is right next to you,” Hyukjae muttered under his breath, adoration and fondness lining his voice.

 

Taeyong smiled and hugged Donghae. “Thanks, hyung. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he spoke sincerely. Because if there was anything he’d ever know for sure, it was that Donghae and Jeno would always be the two most important people in his life.

 

“Always, Taeyongie,” Donghae patted his hair. “And, uh, can you leave now? Hyuk and I were in the middle of something…”

 

“A very important something,” Hyukjae nodded solemnly. “It really can’t be delayed any further, you know?”

 

Taeyong groaned. “Alright, I get it. I’m sorry for cockblocking, hyung. Have fun.”

 

With the awkwardness of the situation just catching up to him, Taeyong avoided eye contact with both men and sped out of the room.

 

Once he was safely outside (so he couldn’t hear any possible _noises_ ), Taeyong wet his lips and pulled his phone out. He stared at the contact for a long time before finally, _finally_ tapping the screen.

 

_7:53 PM_

_Lee Taeyong: Are you going to the party?_

_Lee Taeyong: And I_ _’m sorry again. I really am._

 

 

 

_11:15 PM_

_Jung Jaehyun: Sorry for the late reply. Worked overtime today._

_Jung Jaehyun: But yes. I_ _’ll be there._

_Jung Jaehyun: You don_ _’t have to be sorry all the time._

 

 

 

No matter how hard he tried, Taeyong couldn’t escape from Taeyeon’s grip on his (nonexistent) cheeks. It didn’t matter that she was half a head shorter than him, because Drunk Taeyeon meant Super Strength Taeyeon.

 

“You’re soooooo cute,” she cooed, squishing his face between her palms. “Why are you so adorable? You’re prettier than me!” Taeyeon pouted very unlike the thirty-one year old she actually was.

 

Drunk Sooyeon stumbled over as well and started playing with Taeyong’s brown hair. “Why did you get rid of the pink? You were even cuter with it,” she complained. Sooyeon looked so genuinely devastated at the loss of Taeyong’s pink hair, and he didn’t have the heart to tell her that he’d stopped dying his hair unnatural colors because one day Jeno had brutally mocked his prematurely thinning hairline.

 

Taeyong laughed awkwardly and, upon seeing a seemingly sober Ten (two words he never thought he’d say at a party), mouthed, _Help me._

Ten merely stuck out his tongue and started making out with Johnny.

 

It wasn’t like Taeyong disliked the affection because they were his friends and always took good care of him, but Taeyeon had already been gripping his face for twenty minutes and he needed a time out. And he knew that Sober Sooyeon was even stronger than Drunk Taeyeon, so he did not want to risk finding out just how strong Drunk Sooyeon could be.

 

Thankfully, his savior dove in right when he was losing feeling in his cheeks. “Alright, give the boy some space,” Soojung interrupted. She managed to physically pull Sooyeon off and even successfully manhandled Taeyeon away.

 

“But he’s so cute!” Sooyeon and Taeyeon whined in unison.

 

“Yes, yes, we all know that,” Soojung rolled her eyes. “But Hyoyeon-unnie’s broken out the tequila, and I don’t think you want to miss that.”

 

And like magic, both Sooyeon and Taeyeon were gone.

 

Taeyong breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks, noona,” he smiled gratefully—or at least tried to smile, what with how sore his cheeks were. He grimaced as he rubbed them, wondering how on earth alcohol mixed with Taeyeon turned her into the Hulk.

 

“No problem,” Soojung saluted. She turned to go, said, “Oh, by the way, Jae went to the pot room.”

 

“What?”

 

Soojung rolled her eyes again. “I have to go find Jongin and Taemin before they do something stupid again, so I’m not gonna bother explaining,” she said before disappearing into the crowd.

 

 _You_ _’_ _re not good at being subtle,_ Hyukjae had said. And he was damn right.

 

Taeyong sighed and glanced around the bar. Ten and Johnny were still making out—and, if Taeyong saw correctly, the top few buttons of Johnny’s shirt were already loose—and Taeyeon, Sooyeon, Hyoyeon, and their friends were taking tequila shots. Yuta and Sicheng, the birthday boys, were far too engrossed with giving each other bedroom eyes to pay attention to their surroundings. Taeyong had no idea where Jungwoo was.

 

Sighing in defeat, Taeyong headed for the pot room.

 

 

 

It was an ingenious idea, really. Yuta first suggested it, and then Johnny placed the plan into action.

 

The pot room was a secluded area on the top floor. One had to go through the door behind the bar to the employees’ lounge, and then through another door to reach the staircase. Once at the top, the room was spacious and well decorated with plenty of couches. The ceilings were strategically vented to allow any smoke to follow a path out through the chimney, and the refrigerator was always stashed with weed.

 

Taeyong wasn’t a very good drinker, and although he never liked getting high, he usually spent most of his time in the pot room because he found it amusing to try and keep a conversation with a stoned friend. Johnny tended to hang out here, and Kun and Yuta were also frequent flyers.

 

Today, however, the pot room was empty. The air smelled fresh for once, and nobody had fallen asleep on one of the couches, either. The only person sat perched on the window seat, a cigarette to his lips.

 

Jaehyun paused to eye Taeyong, who was already reconsidering his decision to come up. “Oh. I didn’t think anyone was coming today,” Jaehyun remarked calmly.

 

He took a long drag of his cigarette and closed his eyes as he exhaled. When he opened his eyes and Taeyong still hadn’t moved, he raised a brow. “Well?”

 

Taking the hint, Taeyong came over to him. Jaehyun scooted aside and let Taeyong share the window seat.

 

Up close, Taeyong noticed the dark shadows surrounding Jaehyun’s bloodshot eyes. It had only been less than a week since he’d last him at the café, but Jaehyun looked different. His face, which usually still held traces of youth in the softness of his features, appeared gaunt and weary. His hair was ruffled and unkempt, and he just looked so, so, sad. Taeyong glanced over at the ashtray and noticed the ends of four cigarettes.

 

Jaehyun was stressed. That much was obvious, because he’d said himself that he only ever smoked when he was stressed. Taeyong felt tempted to ask what was wrong or hug him, but he knew not to overstep limits again.

 

When Jaehyun finished his fourth cigarette and already had a fifth lit, Taeyong spoke up.

 

“You know, I was there when Donghae and Hyukjae first met. It’s funny actually, because I’ve been there during so many of their major events that it feels like I’m a part of their relationship, too,” Taeyong remarked with a little laugh.

 

Jaehyun’s gaze briefly flickered over to him, but he made no signal telling Taeyong to stop or continue. Taeyong chose the latter and went on.

 

“My parents died in a car crash when Jeno was only a few weeks old. Honestly, I don’t really remember that much about them even though I was five when it happened. Donghae-hyung was fourteen though, so it hit him much harder than it did me or Jeno.”

 

“Our grandparents lived in the same neighborhood, so they took us in. Except they were getting old and couldn’t do much, so Donghae-hyung took up a lot of responsibility. He worked two jobs—one early in the morning before school and another right after—and after he made us dinner he’d study in his room for hours. He tried so hard to give us a good life that he lost out a lot of his childhood.”

 

Taeyong smiled sadly down at his feet. His legs weren’t nearly long enough to reach the floor, and he was overcome with the childish urge to swing his feet.

 

“Anyway, way before Hyukjae bought D&E, it was just this small dance studio. The director let me take classes for free because he knew about our situation. I’d go with my friend’s family to the studio every day after school, and Donghae would pick me up when class ended. It went smoothly for a few months, but then one day he was late. Really late. The class usually ended at five, except that day it was almost six-thirty and he wasn’t there.”

 

“I was five, so I felt really scared and didn’t know what to do. I just sat against the wall and started crying. Then this teenager who’d just finished his class saw me and asked if I was okay, and obviously I wasn’t. He offered to stay with me until hyung got there. And at first I was gonna say no because of the don’t talk to strangers rule, but I was so lonely I agreed.”

 

“He kept me entertained by doing a bunch of small things like thumb wrestling and storytelling. A little after seven, Donghae came running down the halls and the second he saw me he looked like he was about to cry. He hugged me so tightly I thought I was never gonna breathe again. Hyung kept on apologizing because he’d been forced into working overtime and then missed the train, and he thought he’d failed as a brother.”

  
“Then Hyukjae told him it was okay and that I’d been brave the whole time. And I swear, the second Donghae saw him, something just changed. He literally stopped breathing for a second and just stared. It turns out they were in the same class at school and vaguely knew each other, but that was the first time they’d ever officially met. Because it was so late, Hyukjae got a cab for the three of us and when Donghae and I got off first, he paid our fare. Then he came up to Donghae in school and everything sort of just happened from there.”

 

Taeyong stopped swinging his feet. “Donghae once told me that when he saw Hyukjae, he just _knew_. It sounds really cheesy and unrealistic, but he genuinely believed that Hyukjae was going to be someone important in his life. They became best friends, and I remember one day I passed Donghae’s room and heard him crying. He said he didn’t know how much longer he could hold on, because he felt like such a failure. I think he felt guilty because he wanted to spend time with me and Jeno, but he also just couldn’t because he had so many other responsibilities, and he still missed our parents, of course.  And while Hyukjae was comforting him, he told Donghae that he loved him. Donghae just cried even more at that.”

 

“So…” Taeyong trailed off in thought. His eyes flitted all across the room from the refrigerator to the couches to the door, but he couldn’t quite look at Jaehyun. “I…I guess it’s just amazing, really. They met at fourteen and went through a lot before they even graduated high school. Hyukjae’s family’s always been well off and they loved Donghae, so they helped pay for his college tuition. Hyukjae’s parents literally screamed in happiness when they finally admitted they were dating, that’s how much they love him.”

 

“And here they are, twenty years later and still the same. They were my favorite love story then and now. I always wondered when my Hyukjae would show up. I guess I was a bit naïve, because I was so fixated on finding some perfect guy that now I’m twenty-five and I’ve never been in a relationship,” he laughed self-deprecatingly.

 

Taeyong peered through his bangs at the man next to him. Jaehyun’s cigarette had been snuffed out in the ashtray when it was only half-finished, and he was flipping his lighter cap again. The redness in his eyes and shadows on his face hadn’t left, but at least he didn’t look quite so sad anymore. Pensive instead, if not a little melancholic.

 

“Jaehyun,” Taeyong said softly. “I don’t know why you’re stressed. I’m not going to ask because I know it’s not my business. I feel sad sometimes too, but I like to think of Donghae-hyung and Hyukjae-hyung’s story to make me feel better. It’s really cheesy to tell someone to think of happy memories when they’re feeling down, but hey, it can help.”

 

Silence ensued. Slowly, hesitatingly, Jaehyun took both of Taeyong’s hands in his and just held them together. He squeezed so hard his knuckles looked ready to burst. Shocked, Taeyong gaped at their joined hands and then Jaehyun’s face, which was still impassive and somber. He felt something press against his palms, and then Jaehyun released him and slid down the window seat in one fluid motion. He didn’t even spare Taeyong a glance as he traipsed out the room, a tired slouch to his shoulders that hadn’t been there before.

 

In Taeyong’s palms lay Jaehyun’s lighter.

 

 

 

_8:17 AM_

_Jung Jaehyun: Coffee? Same caf_ _é_ _as before._

_8:20_

_Lee Taeyong: Sounds good! Does 11 work?_

_8:40_

_Jung Jaehyun: That_ _’_ _s fine._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Taeyong's so funny when he's with his friends but so flustered when he's around emo Jaehyun. Also Eunhae is indisputably real. Sorry Yunho for making you your siblings' punching bag, but I had to.


	4. Chapter 4

**_October 29th_ **

“Sorry for being late. Traffic,” Jaehyun flashed an apologetic grimace as he sat down. 

The redness in his eyes had left, but the gaunt shadows on his face were still present. He peeled off his windbreaker to reveal his usual office attire, except his tie was loose and unfitted.

“That’s okay,” Taeyong replied softly. He pushed a cup of black coffee across the table and said, “Here, I ordered for you.”

Jaehyun nodded in gratitude. He took the cup and drank it all in one motion, letting out a breath and rubbing his palms against his face once he’d finished.

The table went silent for several seconds. Jaehyun looked too worn out and exhausted to say anything even though he’d initiated the meeting, and Taeyong was unsure of what to do. His hands, hidden under the table, nervously squeezed the lighter.

Finally, Jaehyun sighed and dragged a hand through his hair. “Yesterday was a bit…well, I was being weird. I’m sorry you had to see that,” he smiled ruefully.

“Oh, it’s fine,” Taeyong shook his head. “We all have our off days.”

Jaehyun’s stare bored straight into Taeyong’s eyes. He didn’t say anything; he just stared until Taeyong started squirming.

“I haven’t been very nice to you,” Jaehyun remarked. He didn’t sound particularly guilty or apologetic, just matter-of-fact.

Taeyong shook his head again. “It’s not like you’re being mean. You’re just…reserved, I guess. That’s not a bad thing.”

“Still,” Jaehyun murmured. “You don’t deserve that kind of treatment, hyung.”

Speechless, Taeyong could only squeeze the lighter harder. When he’d gotten home yesterday, he’d tried flicking the lighter on only to discover that it was used up. He wondered if Jaehyun had smoked more after he left, because it wasn’t like he could only ever use one lighter. Why had he even given it to Taeyong in the first place?

“Jaehyun,” Taeyong said at last. He still wasn’t quite able to look Jaehyun in the eye. “I’m not going to pry anymore. If you ever want to talk about something then you can come to me, but I won’t push you. I’m sorry if I ever made you uncomfortable.”

The two fell silent again. Jaehyun appeared as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders—he sat up straighter and relief rippled across his face. Taeyong smiled to himself, happy with the small victory.

After some time, Jaehyun checked his watch and grimaced. “I have to get back to work. But thanks for coming, hyung. I appreciate that.”

He’d only taken a few steps away from the table when he suddenly paused and spun around. “Actually, Taeyong-hyung,” Taeyong startled at the mention of his name and glanced at Jaehyun with wide eyes. Jaehyun seemed to have some mental battle going on in his head before he made up his mind and finally spoke again. “Do you want a ride back to the studio?”

Taeyong’s grip on the lighter loosened. “That’d be really nice, Jaehyun.”

 

 

 

**_November 6th_ **

“He was so high he started making out with the lampshade. Sooyeon tried to drag him off, but then hyung just threw a book at her. Eventually, she got fed up and punched him in the face, and that was the only way we could stop him,” Jaehyun shook his head in bewilderment. “And that’s why the four of us decided that it wasn’t a good idea to get high together anymore. Soojung and I were scarred for life, and hyung has never been the same after getting punched by Sooyeon.”

From the passenger seat, Taeyong shot him a scandalized look. “Why would you ever get high together in the first place? Whose idea was that?”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes as he made a right turn. “Whose idea do you think it was?”

“Yunho-hyung,” they declared in unison.

“But still,” Taeyong said. “I can’t even imagine just busting out some weed with Donghae-hyung and Jeno. First of all Donghae hates all drugs, and also, how weird would it be for him and Jeno with their age difference? Yunho-hyung really is something else,” he shook his head in wonder.

“Trust me, you haven’t lived until you’ve gotten high with your siblings,” Jaehyun replied solemnly. As an afterthought, he added, “Actually, it’s both a good and bad thing. Because on one hand you learn a lot about them, but sometimes you end up learning too much.”

“Like Yunho-hyung’s love for the lampshade?”

“Yup. Krys likes to say that the reason he’s still single is because his one true love is Sica’s lampshade. Hyung looks like he wants to deck her every time she brings that back up.”

Taeyong frowned in confusion. “Krys? Sica?”

“Oh,” Jaehyun paused. “Their English names. Short for Krystal and Jessica.”

“Ah. I see,” Taeyong nodded. Suddenly, he thought of something and turned to Jaehyun with a curious expression. “What’s your English name, then?”

The car came to a halt at a red light. Jaehyun took that opportunity to take his eyes off the road, focus on Taeyong, and, in the most deadpan and matter-of-fact way, say, “Jeffrey.”

Silence.

“Kidding. It’s actually just Jay. Pretty boring compared to Jessica and Krystal.”

Taeyong shot him an unimpressed look. “I know you’re a mysterious guy an all, but Jeffrey? That’s just lame.”

“Actually, Johnny came up with it. Said some bullshit like I look like a Jeffrey or something, but I don’t buy it.”

“Not the worst thing in the world,” Taeyong mused. “Donghae-hyung once had this friend who wanted people to refer to him as Bryan Trevor. It was weird. I guess that’s why Kibum-hyung disappeared and no one's ever heard from him since."

Jaehyun wrinkled his nose. “Gross. I knew a lot of Bryans and a lot of Trevors in school, but I’d never want to meet a Bryan Trevor. Or a Trevor Bryan.”

He pulled up in front of D&E and unlocked the passenger door. “Anyway, make sure you get high with your brothers at some point in your life. It’s a real experience.”

“I’d rather not give hyung a heart attack,” Taeyong responded flatly. He unbuckled his seat belt and shook his head at Jaehyun as he hopped out the car.

“Suit yourself,” Jaehyun shrugged. “And hey! Do me a favor and tell Yunho-hyung you know about the lampshade!”

“I’m not evil like you!” Taeyong retorted.

(He did in fact end up mentioning the lampshade to Yunho, who blanched and used some choice words to curse Jaehyun)

 

 

 

**_November 9th_ **

Taeyong flung his hands up in frustration. “I just don’t get why Jeno needed to steal all my chocolate! I specifically hid it up in the top shelf because neither of us can reach it—I had to stand up on a chair and everything—and somehow that little brat knew exactly where it was!”

“It’s just chocolate, hyung,” Jaehyun remarked dryly.

“It’s not just chocolate! Tennie brought it back for me from Thailand, and I planned on rationing it out so it could last longer. But then Jeno just snuck into my apartment using a copy of my key—I don’t even know when he had the opportunity to take my key and get a copy—and he goddamn knew everything. He stole my chocolate, Jaehyun!”

Jaehyun snorted. “Okay, no need to be so aggressive. Shouldn’t you have some kind of older brother power over him? Like, doesn’t that just come with being siblings?”

“It doesn’t work,” Taeyong pouted. He slumped against the car window and gazed outside wistfully, dreaming of all the Thai chocolates he could have eaten during Netflix marathons. Alas. “Jeno’s too much of a smartass.”

“Yeah, it doesn’t really work with us, either. Sooyeon has all the power even though hyung’s older,” Jaehyun agreed. “We're always taking Yunho-hyung’s stuff, but no one dares mess with Sooyeon.”

“You don’t seem like someone other people would want to mess with, either,” Taeyong blurted before he could stop himself.

Instead of addressing Taeyong’s statement, Jaehyun switched the topic to the first and last time he’d gotten drunk with his siblings(“There’s a very big difference between getting high and getting drunk, mind you, hyung.”), and how although it was not quite as memorable, Soojung did end up breaking her wrist after attempting a cartwheel.

When he stopped next to Taeyong’s apartment complex, he said, “I guess not, hyung.”

It took Taeyong a while to figure out what he meant by that.

 

 

 

**_November 10th_ **

One second Taeyong was innocently walking down the hall to check in on Taeyeon’s voice class, and the next thing he knew a pair of arms had snatched him and dragged him into an unused office.

“What the hell!” Taeyong shrieked, his voice about two octaves too high. “What’s going on?”

“Relax, Taeyongie,” Yoona, an acting assistant, shushed him with a slender finger. “We’ve only brought you here to ask a few questions,” she smiled with way too sweet of a smile for someone who’d just kidnapped him.

Taeyong made a face as he scanned the room. Yoona sat him down in a chair while three other women stood before him. Taeyeon had her arms crossed with a face that meant all business, while Sooyeon and Soojung replicated her stance.

_Wait._

“What are you doing here?” Taeyong stared at Sooyeon and Soojung in disbelief. “Neither of you work here!”

Taeyeon waved a hand dismissively. “I invited them,” she replied as if that made everything make sense.

“Noona, aren’t you supposed to be teaching a class right now?”

“I sent Soonkyu to take care of it,” she shrugged.

Resigned to his fate, Taeyong sighed and glanced at the three women. “Okay, what’s going on?”

Soojung smirked. “Taeyeon-unnie told us she’s seen Jaehyun driving you to work these past few days. Then Yoona-unnie mentioned that he’s even been picking you up after work, too.”

Taeyong shot her an unamused look. “You dragged me in here just to talk about Jaehyun?”

The two sisters leaned in up close. “Well it depends on what you have to tell us about our little brother,” Sooyeon winked.

“There’s nothing to tell,” Taeyong insisted. “He just offered to drive me because we have similar hours and I don’t have a car. He’s just being nice.”

Sooyeon snorted. “Please. I’ve seen Johnny and Sicheng begging for rides to no avail. Jaehyunnie isn’t that nice.”

“We’re just friends!”

Taeyeon, Yoona, Sooyeon, and Soojung all exchanged unconvinced smirks.

“Wait,” Yoona suddenly held her hand up. “I actually have a question. The other day I overheard Yunho-oppa yelling something about a lampshade and Jaehyun to Taeyong. What was that all about?”

Soojung’s jaw dropped. “He told you about the lampshade?”

Perplexed, Taeyong nodded.

“That story was never to leave the Jung siblings,” Sooyeon groaned. “Damn, he must really like you.”

“He doesn’t like me!”

The women all shook their heads again. “Okay, Taeyongie. Whatever you say,” Soojung grinned like a cat.

“I’d say this intervention was moderately successful,” Yoona commented.

“All the better knowing Yunho’s paid us to do this,” Taeyeon agreed.

Taeyong tilted his head in confusion. First he’d been kidnapped, and now it turned out that Yunho was the prime aggressor? “Yunho-hyung _paid_ you to drag me here and interrogate me?”

“Obviously,” Sooyeon winked again. “Why else would we?”

Sometimes, Taeyong was glad he was gay. Women were scary.

 

 

 

**_November 18th_ **

“So have you gotten high with your brothers yet?”

“Please shut up.”

 

 

 

**_November 19th_ **

“This may sound mean,” Jaehyun commented between sips of his tea (that Taeyong had given him when he got in the car). “But it’s not actually that bad hanging out with you, Taeyong-hyung. Once you stopped getting embarrassed all the time, that is.”

Taeyong quelled every nerve in his body that told him to throw his iced coffee at Jaehyun’s dumb (handsome) face. “Well you weren’t very much fun to talk to at first, either,” he retorted.

“Aww, you’re sassy, too?”

“I’m literally two years older than you. Start respecting me.”

“Yunho-hyung’s eleven years older than me and I’ve never respected him.”

“Yeah, well you’re one to talk,” Taeyong rolled his eyes. “You’re also surprisingly fun to hang out with. I get a personal chauffeur, even though you’re still so hot and cold all the time.”

That, Taeyong belatedly realized, was the wrong thing to say. Jaehyun switched off immediately, and the rest of the ride was spent in silence.

 

 

 

**_November 23rd_ **

“So,” Ten sang, pausing as he poured his coffee. “I saw you take the bus today. Where’s your little driver?”

Taeyong blushed. “He flew back to America to spend some holiday with his high school friends. Something about how the plane tickets were worth it for a turkey dinner. He said he’s coming back on the thirtieth, though.”

“How cute, you know his whole schedule” Ten teased. As he dumped packet after packet of sugar into his coffee, he casually asked, “Will Jaehyun be around for Christmas?”

_Huh?_ Honestly, Taeyong had no idea because, contrary to Ten’s earlier claim, he actually did not know Jaehyun’s entire schedule, _thank you very much_. Besides, wasn’t Christmas a little too far in the future?

Taeyong shrugged. “I don’t know. But if he is he should join in on Taeil-hyung’s.”

At the mention of Taeil, Ten automatically grimaced and stopped ripping open sugar packets. “Actually, about Christmas…” he trailed off with a sheepish grin.

Taeyong froze. “No…”

“Oh, yes,” Ten confirmed all of Taeyong’s worst fears. “As it turns out, Taeil-hyung cannot host a Christmas party this year because his family are requesting his presence this year. Yuta and Sicheng—who’ve just gone official, by the way—are taking a trip to Osaka, and then Doyoung wants to spend Christmas with his girlfriend.”

“Christmas isn’t Christmas without Taeil’s,” Taeyong sniffed in sadness. “Can I third wheel you and Johnny, then?”

Ten shifted skittishly. “Normally I would say yes. Except…Johnny and I may or may not be going to Bangkok…”

Taeyong gasped and covered his mouth in shock. “Ten…you’re letting Johnny meet your parents before me?”

“I know, I know,” Ten immediately rushed over and rubbed Taeyong’s back soothingly. “I know I promised you that you’d be the first I’d fly over, but my parents have been dying to meet Johnny for five years now and the timing’s only just worked out. You’ll be the next one I take home with me; I promise!”

“I feel so betrayed,” Taeyong sighed with a faraway look in his eyes. “Everyone’s ditched me.”

Ten hugged him. “How about your brothers? I’m sure they’d love to spend Christmas with you,” Ten suggested.

Taeyong shook his head miserably. “Jeno’s visiting Jaemin’s family, and I’d feel bad interrupting Donghae-hyung when, you know, it’s their first Christmas as a married couple. It’s okay, though. I’ll just—”

And then an idea struck him.

 

 

 

**_December 8th_ **

Ever since college, Taeyong always had a very important Christmas schedule he swore by. He’d spent Christmas Eve with Donghae and Jeno—and by extension Hyukjae and Jaemin--and after unwrapping his presents the next morning, he’d head over to Taeil’s house. 

Taeil didn’t have the biggest place, but he was the oldest so he took the responsibility of hosting. Taeyong, Doyoung, Johnny, Ten, Yuta, and Sicheng would all come over with Secret Santa gifts. Then they’d cook ramyun and cuddle up in front of the TV to some cheesy Christmas movie until one by one, everyone fell asleep. It wasn’t a particularly fancy or extravagant tradition, but Taeyong loved it.

The only problem with Christmas, as Taeyong was now very much aware of, was that it was also considered a lover’s holiday, hence all the prior engagements this year. He couldn’t blame any of his friends, really, because it was good that they all had thriving love lives. But it only reminded Taeyong for the thousandth time of his own single status. 

“Hey,” Jaehyun interrupted Taeyong’s thoughts. “What do you think about this for Soojung?”

Taeyong blinked. Jaehyun held up a pair of white driving gloves with intricate gold patterns and lacework.

“Oh, uh, they’re really pretty,” Taeyong responded. They _were_ actually quite nice. Jaehyun had a good eye for these things.

“Mmm, I think she’ll like them,” Jaehyun agreed. In his other hand, he already had a box containing a pair of pearl earrings for Sooyeon. He’d also gotten a new pair of shiny black dress shoes for Yunho.

As Jaehyun paid for the items, Taeyong physically winced when he saw the number on the register. He could have paid two months rent and still had enough leftover to treat Ten to beef with that much money. 

It wasn’t like Taeyong didn’t already know. He’d been inside Jaehyun’s Mercedes plenty of times, and one look at that gleaming watch and those silk ties was all it took. Yunho’s workout gear probably cost more than Taeyong’s entire closet, and he’d seen Sooyeon and Soojung’s jewelry. And then there was the matter of their parents sending off three of them to boarding school in America. The Jungs were, without a doubt, a very wealthy family.

Outside, Jaehyun put his gifts for his siblings in the trunk. “You said there’s a specific place you wanted to look at?”

Taeyong nodded. “There’s this thrift store I go to when I’m looking for presents. A lot of the stuff is just junk, but there’s always something good you can find. It’s actually just down the street, so we can just walk,” he explained.

Jaehyun hummed in the cold air. “Lead the way.”

The thrift store was squeezed between a bakery and a move theater, hidden out of sight from most pedestrians. Taeyong had first stumbled upon the store one chilly January in refuge for warmth, and he’d been amazed by the sheer amount of objects surrounding him. The store was clutter personified and had no real rhyme or reason, but every now and then, Taeyong would see something amazing.

“Ooh, look how cute!” He gushed over a mini cat plushie on a keychain. “Ten would love this!”

Even Jaehyun couldn’t help but smile (dimples, Taeyong thought in the back of his mind). “You should get one for Johnny, too. He’s a sucker for couple items,” Jaehyun suggested, selecting a similar cat keychain.

Taeyong’s eyes lit up. “You’re a genius, Jung Jaehyun!”

The two continued to browse the store with Taeyong’s childish excitement and Jaehyun’s quieter, but equally amused, demeanor. Once Taeyong had amassed enough presents—the keychains for Johnny and Ten, a bunny mug for Doyoung, a humidifier for Taeil to keep his throat in good condition, and couple earrings for Yuta and Sicheng—he headed for the cashier. On his way, however, he spotted something that made him stop in his tracks.

“Aww, look at this music box,” he gushed. 

The box was fairly simple—just a wooden cube with flowers painted on the sides and a crank up handle. When Taeyong opened it, the inside was equally simplistic with a small wooden figurine of a faceless girl with long brown hair and a white dress. She held a singular rose to her chest, and she was one of the prettiest things Taeyong had ever seen.

Jaehyun took the box out of Taeyong’s hands to examine it as well. “I wonder what song it plays,” Jaehyun mulled over the thought before turning the handle. It turned out to just be some kind of lullaby, but Taeyong was in love. 

“The first Christmas without our parents, Donghae-hyung couldn’t afford any presents but he still wanted to give us something. So he took this old music box our parents gave him a few Christmases before and let me have it,” Taeyong recounted fondly.

He still remembered waking up on Christmas morning and not expecting anything. Even back then, he knew that they barely had enough money to get buy, and that Donghae was gone so much because he was trying to get money. But then Donghae told him to check his stocking, and the little blue music box that played a Mozart symphony made that Christmas one of Taeyong’s happiest.

“Do you still have the box?” Jaehyun questioned.

Taeyong shook his head. “I kept it for a long time, but then I gave it back to Donghae-hyung as a wedding present. You should have seen how hard he cried,” he laughed softly.

He stared at the music box one last time before shaking his head. “Anyway. We should get going.”

 

 

 

**_December 15th_ **

At this point, it became second nature to come home and find a pair of unfamiliar shoes in the corridor. Normally Taeyong wouldn’t have minded, but he’d just had a long day at work—Taeyeon had been up to her usual shenanigans and she’s unfortunately dragged Yoona and Seulgi into them—and didn’t feel like seeing Jeno eat all his snacks again.

“Jeno, you’d better not have raided my Cheetos again,” Taeyong shouted as he stormed down the hall. “Because I swear I’ll—what the fuck!” He shrieked, clutching his chest in shock.

Jaehyun looked up from his book ever so casually and said, “Hey.”

Taeyong closed his eyes. This was a test, he reasoned. Jaehyun wasn’t actually in his apartment right now, and when he opened his eyes he’d realize that he was alone. Taeyeon’s antics had just gotten to his head, that’s all. The stress of the day was making him hallucinate.

When he opened his eyes, Jaehyun was still there. 

“Why are you here? _How_ did you get in here?” Taeyong demanded.

“I climbed through the window.”

“Nice try.”

“Jeno gave me a key.”

“He what?!”

“Kidding. I stopped by and you left your door unlocked. That’s not very safe, hyung. Anybody could just come in,” Jaehyun tsked.

Taeyong shot him an unimpressed look. “So why’d you come here?”

Jaehyun was suddenly very engrossed in his book.

“Okay,” Taeyong sighed. He knew better than to pry when Jaehyun didn’t answer. Defeated, he came over and threw himself down on the couch next to Jaehyun.

“Long day?” Jaehyun asked without looking away from his book.

“Taeyeon-noona.”

Jaehyun chuckled. “Ah, the classic. The first time Sooyeon brought Taeyeon-noona over was crazy. They were like two children.”

Taeyong shuddered at the thought, remembering the way they’d pinched his cheeks at Yuta and Sicheng’s birthday party. “She’s great, but sometimes a little much,” he agreed. “You know, the other day she and Yoona-noona dragged me into an empty office and started interrogating me. Your sisters were there, too.”

“Oh?” Jaehyun glanced up, his interest piqued. “I didn’t know about this. What happened?”

Realizing that it was too embarrassing to explain the full story, Taeyong played it cool and just shrugged. “Well I told Yunho-hyung about the lampshade like you said and Yoona-noona overheard it. Your sisters swore me to secrecy,” he lied.

“That sounds a lot like them,” Jaehyun shook his head in amusement. “They do unnecessary stuff like that all the time. It’s not like they’re the ones who made out with a lampshade; they shouldn’t be so embarrassed. Yunho-hyung was the dumb one.”

Despite his words, the way Jaehyun spoke about his siblings sounded incredibly fond. Protective too, in some strange way. He seemed to love them, but wouldn’t be caught dead saying it out loud.

Taeyong started biting his nails. “Jaehyun, do you have any Christmas plans? Like, are you going to spend it with your family?”

A flicker of unease passed through Jaehyun’s eyes. Taeyong was worried he’d gone too far again, but then Jaehyun just shrugged. “We’re not really that into Christmas. Sooyeon and Soojung always fly over to California to celebrate with their old host families, and Yunho-hyung likes going on his own trips. I think he’s off to Japan in a few days.”

“What about you?” Taeyong bit down too harshly, wincing as he broke into the skin on his fingertips.

“Sometimes I go back to America too, but not this year. Already went for Thanksgiving so I won’t go for Christmas,” Jaehyun replied.

The fact that Jaehyun only talked about his siblings struck Taeyong as odd. “What about the rest of your family? Don’t your parents want you to spend the holidays with them?” He asked.

That, Taeyong quickly realized, was definitely the wrong thing to say. Jaehyun forced out an uncomfortable grimace, said, “We all prefer to just do our own thing,” and immediately went back to his book.

Taeyong bit back a scream of frustration. Even after almost two months of friendship, he still felt like he couldn’t read Jaehyun at all. Every time he thought he was getting closer, Jaehyun would just recede again. Taeyong wasn’t asking for Jaehyun’s deepest secrets and full life story, but he just wanted to know more about him. Anything, really, because right now, the only things Taeyong knew were that Jaehyun came from a rich family and loved his siblings.

The thing was, Jaehyun would never open up unless Taeyong reached out first.

“Jaehyun,” he reached over and pushed the book down just enough to lock eyes. “Do you want to spend Christmas with me?”

 

 

 

**_December 25th_ **

Taeyong glanced at the clock as he placed ornaments on his mini tree. At first he’d been sad at the thought of not having room for a big tree like the one Donghae put up every year, but the little one he’d bought was cute and worked well enough.

Just as he’d finished putting the star on top, the doorbell rang. Excitement coursed through Taeyong’s veins as he skipped over to open the door. “Merry Christmas, Jaehyunnie!” He greeted enthusiastically.

Jaehyun smiled briefly in greeting as he shook the snow off his coat. White flakes decorated his black hair, and Taeyong thought he looked like an angel.

“Here,” Jaehyun held out a box wrapped in pale blue wrapping paper and a green bow. “This is for you,” he explained awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.

For once, he looked so unsure of himself, and it was adorable. Taeyong bit back a smile as he led his guest into the living room. “That’s really sweet of you. Just put it under the tree and we can open presents later,” he gestured to the mini tree.

“Ah…” Jaehyun trailed off as he eyed the tree with an unreadable expression. “Yeah, I’ll do that. Right.”

Taeyong furrowed his brow in confusion. Why was Jaehyun staring at the tree like it had offended him? Did he not like it?

“Anyway,” Jaehyun cleared his throat after he set down the gift. “What do you want to do now?”

Previous thoughts forgotten, Taeyong perked up and grinned. “Usually a bunch of us go to Taeil-hyung’s house and eat ramyun and watch movies until we fall asleep. Unfortunately, all of them have ditched me this year, so I thought we could do the same to keep the tradition alive,” Taeyong explained excitedly.

Jaehyun nodded slowly. With a small smirk, he teasingly asked, “So am I just your backup hoe, hyung?”

_I wish_. “I can’t believe you think I’d stoop so low,” Taeyong shoved him. “Do you want ramyun or not?”

“Backup hoe it is.”

 

 

 

Long after their bowls were emptied and the credits of _Elf_ had rolled, Taeyong felt warm and happy. Jaehyun, as it turned out, did not find Will Ferrell funny at all and spent the whole time roasting the movie. Despite Taeyong’s everlasting love for it, he couldn’t help but giggle at every snarky comment Jaehyun made.

Now, Taeyong was curled up on the couch with the pink stuffed cat Jaehyun had gifted him (and no, Taeyong most definitely did not squeal in joy at the cuteness when he opened the box. He was obviously too old for that). Jaehyun, for some reason, lay on the floor, staring up at the mini tree like he wanted nothing more than to burn it.

Taeyong was about to get up and put their bowls in the sink when Jaehyun suddenly spoke up. 

“Remember when you asked me why I went to school in America?”

He did remember. Very well, in fact. 

Jaehyun continued glowering up at the tree. “When Sooyeon was eight, she caught our father with another woman. He flew her off on the next plane to San Francisco so she wouldn’t tell our mother. Yunho-hyung wasn’t good at English and was already halfway through his education, so he stayed in Seoul. But I guess my father worried about the rest of us finding out, so he sent me and Soojung away, too.” 

He laughed mirthlessly, the sound harsh and grating to Taeyong’s ears. “What kind of fucking idiot thinks the best way to get rid of his problems is to ship his kids to another country?”

Taeyong didn’t say anything. What could he say at a time like this? 

“Anyway. Only Sooyeon knew for a long time. Soojung and I had no idea why we had to go to foreign schools, but we were too young to question it. Hyung didn’t know, either, because our dad somehow hid it from him. Then I came back the summer after fourth grade, and something felt different about the house. It was because Sooyeon told our mom the truth.”

“She and Yunho-hyung told me and Soojung what was going on. They said that things were going to be weird between our parents for a while, and that they didn’t know if they would still be together. But by the time I left to go back to Connecticut, our parents were still together.”

“When we all came back for Christmas that year…well, I guess our dad had had enough. He got drunk on Christmas Day and started saying some really shitty things. He told Sooyeon she was a bitch and a whore for being a snitch, and then he got so mad he knocked over the Christmas tree. One of the glass ornaments fell on Soojung and she got cut pretty badly. Yunho was twenty-one, so he tried to stop our dad. He just got punched in the chest for that.”

“Then Mom stood up. She was crying, asking our father not to leave. He just laughed at her, so she got down on her knees and literally started begging. She told him she loved him and wanted him to stay, that she needed him in her life. She went on and on about how much she loved him, and all we could do was watch as someone who clearly didn't love her back laughed.”

Jaehyun turned his head so he was facing Taeyong, who was frozen in shock. With a little, twisted smile, Jaehyun continued. “And you know what’s really sick? He stayed. He stayed with her and continued fucking other women and sending his kids to American schools. And our mother still loved him even though she knew what a shitty bastard he was. She loved him that much,” he scoffed.

“That was the last Christmas we spent together. After that, the four of us just did our own thing every year, no matter how hard our mother tried to convince us to come back. The psycho eventually died of a heart attack a few years ago, and we didn’t go to the funeral. None of us have even seen our mom in years.”

When he finished, Jaehyun closed his eyes and just sighed. 

Taeyong, who still hadn’t moved, exhaled. Fidgeting with the ears of the stuffed cat, Taeyong very cautiously said, “Jaehyun, you didn’t have to share that much if you’re not comfortable.”

“It’s okay,” Jaehyun replied, his voice devoid of any emotion. He sat up and hugged his knees to his chest, the pain from his story having worn him down. “I just wanted to tell someone.”

 

 

 

After a few rings, Soojung finally picked up the phone. “Taeyong? Isn’t it past midnight in Korea?” She asked in bewilderment, the background noise blurring her voice.

“Hi, noona,” he greeted quietly. “Sorry to bother you on Christmas.”

“Wait, hold on a sec,” Soojung said. Vaguely, Taeyong could hear the sound of her jogging somewhere. When the noisiness faded, she said, “No, it’s fine. What’s up?”

Taeyong stared at his tree, wondering how much pain Jaehyun had been in by just seeing it. “Jaehyun came over for dinner. He left a couple hours ago.”

“Oh, yeah. I remember him mentioning that. How was he?”

Deciding to cut straight to the point, Taeyong sighed and clutched his phone tighter. “He told me about your dad.”

Soojung didn’t say anything. After several moments of silence, he heard her exhale and could tell she was running her hand through her hair.

“Taeyong,” she said at last. “Do you like my brother? And you know what I mean by liking him.”

Taeyong shrugged, then remembered she couldn’t see him. “I think so. At first I just thought he was handsome, and then every time he talked to me he seemed so mysterious in a sad way, like he was hiding away. And then we became friends and I love spending time with him. But now I’m worried that I’ve pushed him too far.”

“I’m taking that as you definitely do like him. And that’s okay—that’s great, actually, because he seems to like having you around, too. I wouldn’t worry too much, because Jae never says anything unless he actually wants to.”

“But Yongie,” Soojung’s voice turned deadly serious. “I don’t know if you likes you in the same way. I wouldn’t be surprised, but there’s some things he’s exceptionally good at keeping secret. You’ve got to be patient with him, especially after he’s just spilled some painful stuff. Be his friend first before you expect anything more. He’s got a whole lot more than just his past on his mind these days.”

Taeyong smiled a little as he hugged the cat to his chest. “Have you always been this smart, noona?”

“Wow, you little piece of shit,” Soojung laughed. Taeyong could practically see her roll her eyes through her voice. “I’ll have you know that even though Sooyeon’s the genius, I’m smarter than Yunho-oppa. It’s not saying much, but it’s still something.”

Taeyong giggled. “Thanks, noona. I’ll let you go back to your family.”

“Oh wait, could you do me a favor and keep daily updates on Jongin and Jinri at work? I’m worried that they’ll do something stupid without me in the country, and then they’ll definitely a way to drag Taemin into it.”

“Of course.”

“Now I see why all the unnies like you so much. Love you!”

 

 

 

**_December 29th_ **

Jaehyun groaned as the yellow light turned red just as they got to the front. “Fucking typical. Why do I even drive when the traffic gods are never on my side,” he growled.

Beside him, Taeyong just smiled. “Well if you didn’t drive then I wouldn’t have a chauffeur would I?”

“Are you finally admitting that you only keep me around to exploit me for my free labor?” Jaehyun side-eyed him with a dirty look.

“Well not really, but it does have its perks. Your Mercedes, for one thing,” Taeyong stuck out his tongue.

After approximately twenty seconds had passed and the light was still red, Jaehyun groaned again and pressed his forehead against the steering wheel. “I hate Seoul so much. Why are there so many fucking people. Why is everyone such a shitty driver. Why do I have to deal with this,” he whined.

Taeyong giggled. “Stop complaining all the time, Mr. America. I bet you’ve never experienced the Seoul metro during rush hour, so you don’t get to complain about traffic.”

“Well you can’t even drive so you don’t know the true pain of it,” Jaehyun fired back.

“Oh! You can go now!”

“Thank god,” Jaehyun grumbled. “I thought I’d never get out of this fucking intersection.”

As Jaehyun drove through the busy streets of Seoul with plenty of angry mumbling, Taeyong stifled his laughter and watched him with fond eyes. He was going to take it slow, Taeyong decided. At this moment in time, all he knew for sure was that he liked Jaehyun. A lot. But they were friends first, and Jaehyun needed a friend more than he needed a romantic partner. So Taeyong would take things slow and give Jaehyun time, and then he’d see where they’d go from there. 

Until then, he’d be patient.


	5. Chapter 5

Jaehyun blinked. “You want me to do what?”

“Come on! It’ll be so much fun,” Taeyong insisted, smiling cutely to try and win the other man over. “Donghae-hyung does this every year, and I wanted to try it.”

“Hyung,” Jaehyun deadpanned. “It is five in the fucking morning and I am hungover as fuck. If you think I’m about to go anywhere right now—”

 Taeyong dug through his bag and triumphantly pulled out a thermos. He unscrewed the cap and held the contents under Jaehyun’s nose. Victory coursed through his veins when Jaehyun's eyes widened--exactly the reaction Taeyong had been hoping for. “But I made this coffee, and you know I can’t drink it black,” he pouted sadly.

“Don’t you fucking dare give me those eyes,” Jaehyun groaned. He rubbed his eyes aggressively and sighed, dragging a hand through his messy hair. “Fine. Just let me shower first, you psycho.” 

Taeyong beamed and skipped into Jaehyun’s apartment.

 

 

Contrary to Jaehyun’s more reserved and subdued personality, the living room of his apartment was surprisingly filled with color. The furniture looked expensive, but the walls really caught Taeyong’s attention. One was painted a pale blue, and another was adorned with a bookshelf in the shape of a tree. The last two were filled with pictures. On one side, the wall itself was completely covered in a collage of photographs—Taeyong could make out sceneries and images of Jaehyun with his American friends. The other had framed photos of Jaehyun with his siblings.

No parents, Taeyong thought to himself.

He went up closer to the collage wall to examine the pictures more closely. Teenage Jaehyun was just as handsome as current Jaehyun, but the younger version’s face was softer and more relaxed. He seemed to smile a lot more, with the two indents on his cheeks always visible. 

Taeyong laughed when he realized Johnny featured in a lot of the pictures. Johnny…had certainly grown into his looks, to say the least. If Taeyong remembered correctly, Johnny and Jaehyun had been best friends in pre-school, and although Jaehyun went to school in America, they were still able to see each other often because Johnny’s family temporarily relocated back to Chicago. 

“Hey, I’m ready,” Jaehyun stepped out of his room clad in a black sweater and jeans.  

Taeyong waved him over. “You were so cute when you were younger,” he teased, giggling as he pointed to a specific picture of Johnny and Jaehyun smirking into the camera. 

Jaehyun burst into laughter at the sight. “Shit, we must have been like sixteen or something. Back when we thought we were straight.”

“Did you take all these?” Taeyong asked, gesturing to the collage. 

“Yeah,” Jaehyun nodded. “I’ve always liked photography. Not enough to be serious about it, but it’s just fun. 

Taeyong tried imagining Jaehyun as a photographer. Somehow, that fit him all too well—at least, it made much more sense than Jaehyun being an accountant.

“Shouldn’t we head out?” Jaehyun checked his watch. “The sun rises in an hour.”

“Oh, yes!” Taeyong hurried back over to the couch to grab his things. “Let’s go!”

 

 

“So why are we doing this again?” Jaehyun questioned as he pulled up by the river. After the initial effects of his pure black coffee had worn off, he was back to being grumpy, tired, and hungover.

Taeyong, on the other hand, was full of energy. He sipped on his hot chocolate and said, “Because I was bored and Donghae-hyung said this is fun.”

Jaehyun knocked his head back against his seat. “Okay, fair enough. But then why did you drag me here, too?”

“Oh,” Taeyong paused as he tried to come up with a viable excuse other than _because I have a massive crush on you and thought this would be romantic_. “Well, uh, I don’t have a car and it’s too cold to walk.”

“I knew you were using me for my car.”

“Caught me red-handed,” Taeyong winked as he got out of the car.

With a reluctant sigh, Jaehyun also left the warmth of his Mercedes. The bitterly cold air bit at their exposed faces, and it was so dark Taeyong had to use his phone flashlight to navigate over to a bench by the riverside. Despite his many layers under a large puffy coat, Taeyong’s small and skinny frame still shook from the cold. 

He scooted closer to Jaehyun to steal some of his warmth. Jaehyun shot him an unimpressed look, said, “May I remind you that this was your idea, and now you’re the one freezing your ass off.”

“Shut up,” Taeyong whined, shifting even closer. “It’s not my fault I’m the way I am.”

Sighing, Jaehyun removed his scarf and tied it around Taeyong’s own. “There. Now you have a double layer while I’m here to suffer. Happy?”

“Very!” Taeyong’s voice was muffled but the crescents of his smiling eyes were still visible.

They sat without speaking for some time until finally, the sun began to peek over the horizon. As it rose higher, the frozen Han river sparkled and the surrounding snow gleamed in the light

When Taeyong glanced over at Jaehyun, the latter’s face appeared less tired and grumpy. His expression was full of wonder, and there was something in eyes that made him feel more alive.

And Taeyong was so, so, in love.

Suddenly, Jaehyun elbowed him. “Hey, isn’t that your brother?” He pointed over somewhere to their right.

Taeyong blinked and followed Jaehyun’s finger. There, along the banks of the river, two figures that were unmistakably Donghae and Hyukjae played together in the snow. Donghae let out a shriek as Hyukjae shoved snow down his back, only to smile again after Hyukjae kissed him on the lips in apology. 

“They’ve been coming here every year since they were fourteen,” Taeyong explained, his eyes soft as he watched his brother. “I think it was Donghae-hyung’s idea first because he’s a hopeless romantic. Then it just became a tradition of theirs to watch the first sunrise of the new year together.”

Hyukjae started making snow angels while Donghae fondly watched on. Then Hyukjae reached out and tugged on Donghae’s leg, causing the latter to fall down next to him. Their laughter rang out, clear and lively like a pair of bells. 

Taeyong smiled. “The other day, I found out that Donghae-hyung uses polaroids of him and Hyukjae-hyung as bookmarks. They’re kind of childish together, but the make each other so happy,” he remarked.

“I want them to be happy forever,” Taeyong confessed. “And I hope I can find someone who makes me that happy, too.”

Jaehyun regarded him with an unreadable expression. “I hope so, too.”

Taeyong’s eyes widened. At a loss for words, he could only stare into the eyes of the man next to him as the sun rose higher, the sound of Donghae and Hyukjae’s laughter echoing throughout the riverside.

 

 

“Gays,” Jungwoo greeted as he flung open the door to the staffroom. “I have news!”

Ten, Taeyong, Yuta, and Doyoung all looked up in shock as Jungwoo sauntered over to their table. The table in the back consisting of vocal trainers Jongdae, Kyungsoo, and Baekhyun also went quiet as the three looked on in interest.

“Jungwoo, you do realize that not all of us are gay, right?” Doyoung said.

Yuta rolled his eyes. “Dons, you’re literally the only straight one in this room.”

“I am?”

“Everybody raise your hand if you’re not straight,” Ten shouted, lifting his own hand up into the air.

Taeyong, Yuta, Jungwoo, Jongdae, Kyungsoo, and Baekhyun all raised their hands. Doyoung peered over at Jongdae suspiciously. “Hyung, aren’t you engaged to Sunyoung-noona?”

Jongdae shrugged. “I’ve sucked plenty of dick in my life before Sunyoung came around. Being bi is such a great lifestyle.”

“Anyway,” Jungwoo cleared his throat in an attempt to bring the attention back to him. “I have important news that I’d like to share with some of my favorite people. Please, sit down so you can prepare yourselves.”

“We’re all sitting down already,” Ten pointed out dryly.

Jungwoo coughed in embarrassment. “Okay, well that’s great. The news is: I now have a boyfriend!” He announced, beaming with excitement.

Immediately, the staffroom broke into chaos. Ten, Taeyong, Yuta, and Baekhyun all screamed while Jongdae whistled. Kyungsoo and Doyoung, meanwhile, exchanged glances and politely clapped at the news.

“Is it record store boy?” Taeyong demanded, pulling up a chair for Jungwoo. The three vocal trainers also ran up to the table to listen.

“Yes it is. His name is Lucas,” Jungwoo blushed, all of a sudden very shy. He buried his face into his hands, said, “I may or may not have been going to the store every week just to talk to him, and then asked him out to a New Years party. He may or may not have kissed me and asked me to be his boyfriend.”

“Aww,” Baekhyun cooed. “That’s adorable. Just like how me and Yeollie got together,” he sighed dreamily.

Kyungsoo shot him a strange look. “Baek, that’s definitely not how you asked Chanyeol out. I’m pretty sure you threw up on his shoes because you were so nervous, and then somehow he still agreed to go out with you anyway.”

“So, Taeyong-hyung,” Jungwoo raised his voice to avoid an argument between Baekhyun and Kyungsoo. “What about you?”

Taeyong tilted his head. “What about me?”

“Didn’t you say something about wanting a boyfriend?" 

“Oh.” It was now Taeyong’s turn to blush. He very purposefully ignored Ten and Yuta’s knowing stares. “Uh, that hasn’t happened yet.” _Except there may have been this super confusing moment yesterday that makes me think he likes me back, but I’m not going to think too much into it because I told myself I’d take things slow_. “But anyway, this is about you, Woo! I’m so happy for you,” Taeyong reached over and pinched Jungwoo’s cheeks.

“If you ever need any condoms, I keep some in my desk,” Ten casually offered as he stabbed his straw through his juice box.

The whole room went silent.

“What?” Ten stated defensively. “Sometimes Johnny visits me at work, you know.”

Doyoung pinched the bridge of his nose. “And now I believe I should get back to work.”

“Don’t be such a prude, Dons. You act like I’ve never caught you making out with your girlfriend in an empty studio before,” Yuta teased.

“I need a new job,” Doyoung declared.

 

 

Way back in the day, SM School of Dance was a small, one-story building with a grand total of six practice rooms. It was where Donghae first met Hyukjae, and also where Taeyong and Ten first became acquainted in middle school. SM was small, with cracked mirrors and paint chipping off the walls, but it was a home and community to many young dancers.

Then, after the old owner passed away and none of his relatives wished to take over the rundown building, Hyukjae took matters into his own hands. He bought the building, renamed it to D&E Studios, and with the help of his family, managed to find the money to expand. Now, D&E stood three stories high with thirty practice rooms and studios. The first floor went to the dancers, the second to the singers, and the third to the actors.

Yunho and Hyoyeon worked as department coordinators for the dancers. Ten was hired when he was still in college, and his fellow coworkers were Jongin, Seulgi, Yixing, Taemin, Yuta, Sicheng, and Sunyoung. In the singing department, Taeyeon and Soonkyu led the ranks of Kyuhyun, Jongdae, Baekhyun, Kyungsoo, Seungwan, Taeil, Jungwoo, and Doyoung. Finally, Sooyoung and Juhyun worked in the acting department with Yoona, Jinri, and Tiffany (this department was the latest to be added, and Hyukjae was still working on developing it). Besides Taeyong, the only other non-instructors were assistant managers Yuri and Minho.

Out of all the departments, Taeyong would say he was closest to the dancers. He used to be a dancer himself and knew a lot of them from his school years. He’d stopped dancing himself in college after he realized he simply didn’t have the time or the same level of commitment as some of the others, but he enjoyed still being able to work with them. Overall, the entire staff was a close-knit, friendly group of people who loved their form of art and each other.

There were only two problems with having such a close family: The endless shenanigans and complete lack of privacy. 

Taeyeon, who loved Taeyong to death, liked showing her love by pinching his cheeks and yelling about how adorable he was. She also had the tendency to get her other friends—namely Yoona and Tiffany—to join in on her weird antics and pranks. Then there was Jongdae, who could be a real piece of shit at times. If Taeyeon’s pranks were weird, then Jongdae was just pure evil. One time, Taeyong had walked into his office to find everything flipped upside down. He didn’t even know how short Jongdae could possibly move a filing cabinet or a desk, but if he had to guess, Jongdae had probably brought in his beefy friend Minseok to do his dirty work. Jongdae did calm down a bit once he and Sunyoung started dating, but everyone still stayed on high alert whenever he was around. Then there were Taemin, Jongin, and Jinri, Soojung’s goofy best friends. Taeyong grew up admiring Taemin for his dancing, but then he caught Taemin eating ants once and the admiration wasn’t quite the same ever since.

At D&E, one could never be too careful. If one person knew something, then everybody else would soon hear of it. 

So when Jungwoo announced his new relationship status to seven people in the staffroom during lunch break, the entire staff knew he had a boyfriend by two o’clock. For the rest of the day, Jungwoo couldn’t make it two steps without being congratulated and/or teaser by someone. Taeyong thought his cheeks would permanently remain red what with how embarrassed Jungwoo was. 

“It was really weird,” he remarked as Jaehyun drove him home after work. “Like, the gossip is pretty much normal, but I’ve never seen everybody look so excited. When Jongdae-hyung and Sunyoung-noona got together no one really cared.”

Jaehyun hummed in thought. “I know Sunyoung-noona through Soojung, and from what I’ve heard, no one was surprised because she and Jongdae-hyung were always flirting. I guess they just thought it was only a matter of time,” he suggested.

Taeyong pondered over that. “Probably. Maybe we’re all really happy because it came out of nowhere, and also because Jungwoo hasn’t been in a serious relationship before.”

“Haven’t they only been together a day? I’d hardly call that a serious relationship,” Jaehyun chuckled.

“Oh, Jungwoo seems very serious about it. He’s had a crush on Lucas for months before Lucas asked him out.”

“Mmhmm.”

“Don’t be so cynical all the time, Jaehyun,” Taeyong lightly smacked Jaehyun’s shoulder. “Love is love, even if it’s only been official for one day.”

Jaehyun shrugged. “The Jungs have always been unlucky in love."

 

 

Donghae and Jeno both smiled and waved innocently. “Hello, Taeyongie,” the former beamed.

Taeyong didn’t even bat an eye. “Hello, hyung. Hello, Jeno. Where are the husband and the boyfriend?” 

“Nana’s catsitting for a friend,” Jeno shrugged.

“Hyuk went out drinking with Junsu,” Donghae pouted. 

“Cool. Takeout sounds good?”

Donghae and Jeno nodded excitedly. Taeyong fished his phone out of his pocket as he walked towards his bedroom. “I’ll call after I change,” he promised. At this point in his life, finding his brothers (and their boyfriends) in his apartment was so normal he wasn’t even fazed by it anymore. Hell, a robber could probably come in and Taeyong wouldn’t notice.

He opened the door to his room, took a step in, and froze in his tracks. 

“Hey, Yong. Did I hear you were ordering takeout?” Ten grinned from where he lay upside down on Taeyong’s bed while reading some comic book.

Yuta, who was scrolling on his phone whilst laying on the floor, perked up. “Is it chicken? Please tell me you’re getting chicken. Sicheng’s been making me eat all healthy and I do it out of love, but I’m also dying here.”

Taeyong took three very deep breaths. Okay, so maybe he wasn’t completely unfazed by intruders in general, but he could handle this. Ten and Yuta were his two best friends, after all. Besides, what harm could two more people do?

“Yeah, I’ll order some chicken. Pizza too?” Taeyong flashed a smile (it may have been a little forced but he was trying his best).

Yuta and Ten cheered in unison.

Taeyong nodded and grabbed some more comfortable clothes out of his closet. He was about to turn the handle of his bathroom when Ten’s voice stopped him.

“Oh, I wouldn’t go in there just yet. Mark’s showering.”

Taeyong’s eye twitched.

 

 

“I don’t understand,” Taeyong spoke through gritted teeth as he slapped paper plates down in front of each guest. “Why,” he emphatically placed the pizza boxes down on the dining room table. “You’re all here in _my_ apartment,” he set down the chicken containers. “When you’re all in committed relationships and live with your partners. I know Donghae-hyung and Jeno’s excuse, but couldn’t the rest of you just spend your time with your boyfriends?” Taeyong finally finished, his ears red with exertion.

“Ooh, pepperoni,” Ten cheered as he opened one of the pizza boxes. “Well, Johnny’s running the bar tonight and I'm lonely.”

“I don’t actually live with Sicheng, but he’s left me to go hang out with Kun,” Yuta explained through a mouthful of chicken. 

Taeyong turned his attention to Mark, his favorite cousin. “And you. I haven’t even seen you for months. Why are you here? Aren’t you, like, still in college?”

Mark shrugged. “I didn’t feel like eating shitty cafeteria food today, and I’m a broke student. So I came by here looking for food.”

“How do you even know where I live? I moved after the wedding.”

“Jeno told me and gave me a key.” 

Taeyong rounded on Jeno, who was innocently sipping his chocolate milk. “That reminds me; when on earth did you make a copy of my key, how many did you make, and how many people did you hand out said copies to?” He demanded.

“Not that many,” Jeno said. “Just Donghae-hyung and Mark-hyung. Oh, and Jaeminnie too. Ten-hyung and Yuta-hyung made their own copies.”

“That doesn’t answer—okay, whatever. Fine. I give up,” Taeyong threw his hands up in surrender. “Look, I love you all, but you can't just come into my home like this all the time. I need some privacy and--”

He wanted to go on, but then there was a knock on the door. 

“Oh?” Ten glanced up. “Who could that be?” 

“Must be someone without a key. Otherwise they’d just walk in,” Mark reasoned.

Taeyong resisted the urge to strangle them. “Just eat your food and I’ll go get it,” he grumbled.

He swung open his door with more force than necessary. “What do you want?” Taeyong demanded without even seeing who was there. 

Jaehyun’s head inclined to the side. “Well hello, Taeyong-hyung. Good evening. You forgot your scarf in the car, and I just happen to be such a good friend I came here to return it to you,” he greeted, holding up a red scarf between two fingers.

Taeyong flushed. “Oh…thanks, Jaehyunnie,” he mumbled, plucking the scarf out of Jaehyun’s hold. “And sorry for that. I kinda have a bunch of people over now and things are a bit chaotic at the moment.”

“Who’s there?” Yuta shouted from the kitchen.

Jaehyun glanced up in interest, “Yuta-hyung’s here?”

“And Tennie, Donghae-hyung, Jeno, and my cousin Mark,” Taeyong groaned.

Yuta poked his head into the hall. “Yong, the chicken’s gonna be all gone if you don’t come quickly!”

Taeyong sighed and gestured for Jaehyun to come in, hastily shutting the door as he trailed behind the newcomer. “I should’ve known this was gonna happen,” he muttered under his breath. "Please save me from these monsters."

“Oh, Jaehyun’s here?” Donghae remarked in surprise.

“He’s the only one who came without an ulterior motive” Taeyong sighed again. He elbowed Mark and said, “Move over and make some space for him.”

Ten rolled his eyes. “Of course you’re giving Jaehyun preferential treatment.”

“No I’m not!” Taeyong replied defensively. “Like I said, he actually knocked instead of just barging in here with a copy of my key. Jeno, you really need to stop giving my key to everyone.”

Donghae laughed in the middle of putting his jacket on. “Calm down, Taeyongie. I’m heading out now because Hyukkie and Junsu need someone to pick them up. Call me if you need anything,” he waved as he headed out. 

Taeyong collapsed into the seat next to Jaehyun. “That’s one gone, four to go,” he grumbled.

Mark stared intently at Jaehyun. “Excuse me, but who are you?” Mark inquired with a suspicious edge to his voice.

“Jung Jaehyun,” Jaehyun responded coolly, lifting an eyebrow. “I’m assuming you’re the cousin? Mark, right?”

Something clicked in Mark’s eyes. He glanced back and forth between Jaehyun and Taeyong, then smirked. “Ahh, I see. You’re the famous Jae—”

Jeno shot out of his seat with a half-finished chicken wing in his hand. “Okay, Mark-hyung, we should go. I bet Donghyuck would love to have you back right now,” he spoke hastily.

“Wait, what’s wrong? I was just saying—”

“Mark, go home. You’re drunk,” Ten deadpanned.

Mark glared at Ten and Jeno. “Now I remember why I never hang with you guys,” he grumbled. “I should've stayed in Canada, honestly.”

“Bye guys!” Jeno shouted as he grabbed Mark by the arm and dragged him down the hall. 

Puzzled by his younger brother and his cousin’s behavior, Taeyong turned to the remaining people at the table. “What’s going on? Is Mark still going through puberty?”

“I’m twenty-one already!” Mark’s voice resounded all the way from the entrance. 

Ten and Yuta made eye contact before turning back to Taeyong and Jaehyun. “Of couuuuuuuurse,” Yuta drawled. “It’s just Mark being Mark. Silly old mark.”

“So, so silly,” Ten agreed solemnly.

Taeyong pouted. “Well I’ve just bought dinner for six people and now there’s only four of us. So you’d better eat this goddamn food.”

“You should eat some more, hyung,” Jaehyun placed a piece of pizza on Taeyong’s plate, said, “You’re really skinny. I’m worried about your health.”

Taeyong thought those were the most romantic words he’d ever heard.

Ten snorted. “Don’t worry, Jae. Taeyongie eats a ton but you can’t tell because of his flat ass.”

“His ass is flatter than a pancake,” Yuta added.

"So flat you don't even know where it begins and where it ends," Ten threw in.

Taeyong glared at his best friends, his cheeks heating up in embarrassment. “Out. Now.”

“Can’t say we didn’t deserve that,” Yuta sighed with no actual remorse in his voice.

“Indeed,” Ten agreed. 

Once the evil twins had departed, Taeyong could finally relax. Letting out a loud groan, he dropped his head against the table and closed his eyes. “I want to kill them,” he announced hollowly. “Would you commit murder for me? Or arson?”

Jaehyun petted Taeyong’s hair in comfort. “I’d kill someone any day of the week for you, hyung."

Forget what he said earlier; _that_ was the most romantic thing Taeyong had ever heard.

 

 

Yuri stuck her head inside Taeyong’s office. “Hey, I’ve finished the report on the acting department,” she smiled warmly.

If there was anything Taeyong especially appreciated about Hyukjae (and he appreciated just about everything Hyukjae did), it was that his boss was an exceptionally good judge of character. Hyukjae could correctly deduct someone’s personality by the way they walked, and he made sure to only select the best of people to keep close. Besides his immediate close friends, he’d hired genuinely great people to join the D&E family.

Kwon Yuri was only hired ten months ago, but Taeyong was already so grateful for her existence. Minho, the other assistant manager, was good at his job too, but he was a little more chaotic. Yuri could be equally as energetic as Taeyeon and the other girls, but she was more of a gentle, caring older sister to Taeyong rather than an overly doting one like the others.

“Thanks, noona,” Taeyong returned her smile. “Just leave them here and I’ll get to it in a minute." 

Yuri did as she was told, but instead of leaving immediately, she tapped on Taeyong’s desk to get his attention. “I’m sorry, Taeyongie, but do you mind if I pull you out for a second? Hyukjae-oppa said he wanted to talk to us about how I’ve been doing,” she explained with a kind but sheepish expression. 

Taeyong frowned ever so slightly. Usually Hyukjae would update him first about employee performance check ins, and it was rare to do one at an employee’s tenth month. Shrugging it off as something that had slipped Hyukjae’s mind, Taeyong got up and followed Yuri out of his office.

As they passed by Ten’s studio, Yuri suddenly faltered in her step. She grabbed onto Taeyong’s shoulder in support, smiling apologetically. “Sorry, it’s these heels,” Yuri said.

“It’s okay,” Taeyong was in the middle of saying when suddenly, the door to the studio opened and Yuri shoved him inside.

The next thing Taeyong knew, he was being forced down into a chair—which made no sense, because the last time he checked none of the studios were equipped with any chairs—and found himself facing a firing squad of Ten, Yuta, Jungwoo, Doyoung, Sicheng, and Taeyeon.

“Good job, Yuriya,” Taeyeon held out a thumbs up.

“Sorry,” Yuri whispered with an amused expression that suggested she was in fact not sorry. Taeyong scowled as she blew him a kiss and left the studio. 

“You know, if you really wanted to talk to me you don’t have to plan these kidnappings all the time,” Taeyong complained, turning his scowl to the crowd in front of him. “Whatever. So let me guess: Ten and Yuta told you all about Jaehyun coming over yesterday and now I’m getting interrogated for having a friend?”

Jungwoo nodded happily. “Yup. Pretty much!”

Ten sidled up next to Taeyong and rubbed his head against the latter’s shoulder like a cat. “Soooooooooo…” Ten smirked. “What happened after we left?”

“We ate dinner and then he went home.” 

“Oh,” Yuta visibly deflated. “That’s it? So Tennie and I left for nothing?”

Taeyong glared. “Do you want me to say he professed his undying love for me and we fucked? Would that make you happy?” He snapped.

“Please,” Doyoung scoffed. “We believe in true love, but that’s a bit too ambitious.”

Sicheng nodded sagely and said, “Taeyong-hyung’s gonna stay a virgin for another twenty years.”

“Sicheng!” Yuta doubled over in laughter. The others all chuckled as well, Doyoung even slapping Sicheng on the shoulder in approval.

Taeyong felt his face flame up. He groaned and hid behind his hands, plotting revenge against everyone in the room except Taeyeon, who had yet to say anything.

_Wait…_ Taeyong’s head snapped up over to where Taeyeon lounged against the mirror, nodding every now and then as she rapidly typed on her phone. What, he wondered, was she doing here? None of the other girls were with her, and that was a red flag if Taeyong ever saw one.

“Noona,” he spoke cautiously, “what are you doing?”

“Hmm?” Taeyeon glanced up briefly before going back to her phone. “Oh, don’t mind me. I’m just sending Sooyeon live updates.”

Taeyong’s vision went red.  

“Hey, don’t be upset,” Jungwoo cooed, wrapping his arms around Taeyong from behind. “We all love you and just want you to be happy.”

And Taeyong knew his friends only had the best intentions in mind, he _knew_. But he’d spent so long mooning after Jaehyun only to realize that Jaehyun wasn’t looking for a romantic relationship, and now Taeyong was just trying to be a good friend first and foremost. He didn’t need to be reminded of his crush all the time, or of the fact that he was single and a virgin. He was tired of getting dragged around and interrogated and just having no privacy in general. 

So excuse him for not being all too pleased, because Taeyong had reached his limit. 

“If you want me to be happy, then you’d stop,” he stated coldly. The ice in his voice was frigid enough to freeze over a summer sky. “No more interventions. No more coming into my apartment when I don’t invite you first. No more making fun of me for never having a relationship. No more asking about Jaehyun. Just leave me alone.”

The room went quiet. Taeyeon stopped texting. Doyoung and Sicheng stared at the ground in shame. Yuta clenched his fists. Ten and Jungwoo were frozen in place in their positions against Taeyong. 

Taeyong couldn’t find it within him to be angry anymore. All he felt was an overwhelming wave of sadness, spreading from his toes to his head. The sadness consumed him so fully he could only run from the studio.

 

 

_4:13_

_Lee Taeyong: Hi…_

_Lee Taeyong: I know you’re probably busy, but can you pick me up?_

 

_4:20_

_Jung Jaehyun: Hyung? What’s wrong?_  

_Jung Jaehyun: Never mind that. I’ll be there in fifteen._

 

_4:21_

_Lee Taeyong: Thanks._

 

 

_4:50_

_Kim Jungwoo: Hyung, where did you go? I’m so, so, so sorry._

 

 

_5:39_

_Lee Donghae: Taeyongie? I heard about what happened at work today. Do you want to talk about it?_

 

  

_6:01_

_Ten: I’m sorry, Yongie. I didn’t know we went too far. That’s obviously not an excuse, but I do feel bad. I get it if you don’t want to talk to me…_

 

 

_6:08_

_Kim Doyoung: I had this whole huge apology all typed out, but I think the only thing I can do is give you some space right now. I’m sorry._

 

 

_6:22_

_Dong Sicheng: Hyung, I shouldn’t have said that about you. It was a terrible joke. Please forgive me._

 

 

_6:40_

_Nakamoto Yuta: I don’t know what else to say other than I’m sorry. You deserve better._

 

  

_7:00_

_Kim Taeyeon: Hey, Taeyongie. Please don’t be mad at Sooyeon or Soojung or Yuri or any of the others. It was my idea to do the intervention shit in the first place. I was just trying to have some fun, but now I see how inconsiderate I was. I still love you, my cute little brother, and I hope you’re feeling okay now._

 

 

_7:05_

_Lee Jeno: I know this is probably the last thing on your mind right now, but I got rid of all the key copies. I’m sorry for taking advantage of you like that. I love you, hyung! <3_

 

 

_7:16_

_Jung Soojung: Dude. What happened? I get if you don’t want to talk now, but call me when you’re feeling up to it, okay?_

 

 

_7:32_

_Lee Hyukjae: Taeyong, I just heard about what happened. Take as much time off as you need. We all love you._

 

 

_8:03_

_Jung Yunho: Jaehyun just called saying you’re with him. I don’t know the full story of what happened and I have a feeling that you probably don’t want to talk about it, so I won’t ask. I trust Jaehyun is taking good care of you, and I’m sorry on behalf of anyone involved. You’re so important to all of us, Taeyong. Never forget that._

 

 

_10:47_

_Lee Donghae: Whenever you feel better, I still want to talk to you. I love you so much <3 <3 <3_ 

 

 

Jaehyun placed a mug down in front of Taeyong. “I don’t have any hot chocolate or tea, so I just made coffee and dumped a ton of sugar in it. If you want, I can run to the store and grab something sweeter,” Jaehyun offered.

Taeyong shook his head and reached for the coffee. “This is fine. Thank you, Jaehyunnie,” he murmured quietly.

Today, Jaehyun wore a full suit. Maybe he had a formal event today, like a big meeting or presentation. Taeyong felt a spike of guilt at the thought of interrupting Jaehyun in the middle of work.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Jaehyun leaned down so they were eye to eye. “I know you feel bad about texting me during work, but it’s fine. Didn’t I tell you not to worry so much?”

As if to prove his point, Jaehyun removed his suit jacket and casually tossed it to the side, causing the ever tidy and clean Taeyong to wince when it fell in a rumpled heat on the floor. Next to follow were Jaehyun’s silver cufflinks, then his silk tie. He kicked off his dress shoes and loosened the top buttons of his shirt. 

With a gentle smile, Jaehyun sat down next to Taeyong and faced him. “See? I’m not going back to work, and it’s too cold for you to go home without a car. So you can tell me what happened,” he encouraged.

Maybe it was because Taeyong had just had a shitty day, or maybe it was because Jaehyun’s gesture of kindness felt so sincere and caring. Or maybe it was neither; maybe Taeyong was just so in love. 

Whatever it was, Taeyong felt the tears build up in his eyes. Without warning, he lurched forward and buried his head in the juncture between Jaehyun’s neck and shoulder. As he wrapped his arms around the younger man, Taeyong thought of the fourth time they’d met, all the way back in the nightclub. When they'd danced and kiss beneath the strobe lights, only for Jaehyun to run away from him. 

He didn’t want Jaehyun to run from him again. Never.

Jaehyun stiffened at first when he felt tears soak the collar of his shirt, but then he carefully placed an arm around Taeyong’s skinny shoulders. “It’s okay,” Jaehyun whispered in hushed tones. “It’s okay, hyung. You’re okay.”

Taeyong felt his strength leave him. He’d stopped being angry a long time ago, and now that he’d cried all his tears out, he didn’t feel sad, either. He just didn’t feel like anything.

“Tell me about Donghae and Hyukjae.”

He blinked and gazed up in confusion.

“You once told me that when you’re sad, you like to think of them. That they’re your favorite love story,” Jaehyun explained softly. He squeezed Taeyong’s shoulder in support. “Tell me more about them. Anything you think of.”

Taeyong remembered when he said that—on that day when Jaehyun’s eyes were scarlet and his face gaunt from the shadows. When Jaehyun gave him his lighter. How could Taeyong ever forget that day?

He rested his head back against Jaehyun’s shoulder and racked his brain for something interesting. Finally, he settled upon one distinct, jarring memory.

“Jeno doesn’t remember anything about our parents because he was still a newborn when they died,” Taeyong began. “And our grandparents were only really our guardians in name. They couldn’t take care of us because they were so old. Donghae-hyung did everything. He fed Jeno, changed his diapers, taught him to read and write—everything. Hyung basically is Jeno’s parent.”

“Then, after Hyukjae-hyung became his best friend, we started seeing a lot of him in our lives. Whenever Donghae-hyung was too busy, Hyukjae-hyung would pick me up from school and babysit Jeno. He even changed his dancing schedule just to accommodate us. So over time, Hyukjae-hyung also became like a parent to Jeno.”

“I think Jeno was about three when this first happened. Hyungs were seventeen, but this was before they started dating. It was obvious they both had huge crushes on each other, though. Anyway, Hyukjae-hyung and Donghae-hyung were playing with us when all of a sudden Jeno calls Donghae-hyung ‘Daddy’. Then he turned to Hyukjae-hyung and called him ‘Papa’. They both turned red so fast, but then Hyukjae-hyung just turned to Donghae-hyung and said, ‘Well, since he already thinks we’re together, why don’t we make it official?’”

When Jaehyun laughed, Taeyong could feel the vibrations through his chest and shouders. “That is the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard, and I even went to their wedding,” Jaehyun snickered.

“Well, it still worked. Donghae-hyung turned even redder and then he just straight up tackled Hyukjae-hyung to the ground. He was so happy he started laughing and crying at the same time. That was the first time I’d ever seen two people look so in love,” Taeyong finished quietly.

“Sometimes,” Taeyong paused, searching for the right words. “Sometimes I feel like everybody else is moving faster than I am. Like, last Christmas all my other friends weren’t available because they were all with their boyfriends or girlfriends. I go to work and all my coworkers are in committed relationships. One of my brothers is married and the other lives with his boyfriend. And I know that everybody’s different and I don’t mind being single, but then sometimes people make jokes or other comments and it’s just…I don’t know. I feel like there’s something about me. Is that irrational?”

Jaehyun adjusted his hold on Taeyong’s shoulders, “Hyung, you’re only twenty-five. Just because you haven’t been with someone before doesn’t mean you won’t, and you don't need someone else. You shouldn’t compare yourself to others,” he mumbled.

Taeyong stared at the undone buttons on Jaehyun’s shirt. His skin was pale and soft looking. Quietly, Taeyeong asked, “Jaehyunnie, what did you mean when you said the Jungs are unlucky in love?”

For a moment, Taeyong was afraid he’d pushed too far again. Then he felt something soft rest against the top of his head, and he realized that Jaehyun was pressing his cheek against his hair, holding Taeyong like he didn’t want to let go.

When Jaehyun spoke, his voice sounded so close and intimate. “I didn’t have a Donghae and Hyukjae when I was a kid. I just had my parents. Sooyeon, Soojung, Yunho-hyung and me—we only saw things that were ugly. I believe my mother did love him, and she probably still does even after he died. He was a piece of shit, but she loved him. But what did that tell us? That you can love someone who’s obviously a monster? That you can love someone so much even though they don’t care about you?”

“It just stuck with us. That’s why Yunho-hyung finds a lot of girlfriends and boyfriends but they don’t last. He was the only one who lived in Korea, yet he never knew a thing and even liked our dad. Sooyeon was the one who caught our dad, and she hasn’t forgotten the shitty things he said to her that Christmas. Soojung can’t forget the violence, either. I’ve seen them fall in love with boys, but they always choose to end things. You know how people say that you either become your parents or you turn into the opposite of them? My siblings never explicitly said this, but I think they're scared of becoming either our dad or our mom--they think they're bound to hurt someone who loves them or love someone too much.”

“And what about you?” Taeyong whispered.

Jaehyun hesitated. “I don’t really know where I stand, to be honest,” he confessed. “I wouldn’t say I’m worried about becoming either of my parents. I’m also not cynical enough to believe love isn’t real, but at the same time. I don’t think I’m afraid of relationships, either, even though I've spent my whole life avoiding them.”

Taeyong shifted back a bit so he could look Jaehyun in the eye. “So if you’re not afraid of anything and you do believe, then what are you avoiding?” He pointed out.

“I,” Jaehyun’s dark, sad gaze never left Taeyong’s. “I don't know.”

  

 

_Lee Taeyong to Lee Donghae, Ten, Nakamoto Yuta, Dong Sicheng, Kim Taeyeon, Jung Soojung, Lee Hyukjae, Lee Jeno, Kim Jungwoo, Kim Doyoung, and Jung Yunho:_

 

_Hi, everyone. Sorry for making you all worry by not responding to your messages._

_After cooling down and taking some time to think, I feel a lot better now. I understand the good intentions behind everything that happened, but regardless of that your actions still hurt a lot._

_However, I’m no longer upset. At least, not enough to kick any of you out of my life. I trust nothing like this will ever happen again, and I’m more than willing to move on. You’ve all apologized enough, so please don’t feel guilty or bad about anything. The past is in the past._  

_Hyungs, noonas, dongsaengs…I love you all very much. I will be returning to work tomorrow, and I think it’s best for us to smile when we see each other._

_Thank you,_

_Taeyong_

 

 

 

Two weeks after the incident, everything was back to normal at D&E. Taemin and Jongin ran around doing parkour, Taeyeon messed with her juniors, Yuri always wore a kind smile, and Jungwoo took every opportunity to gush about how great Lucas was. 

One day, Taeyong, Doyoung, Yuta, and Jungwoo were sitting together in the staffroom during their lunch break. Jongdae, Baekhyun, and Kyungsoo were seated at a different table and talking animatedly.  

“So when are we actually meeting this mystical Lucas?” Yuta demanded, slamming his fist on the table to emphasize his question.

Jungwoo opened his mouth to respond, but then all of a sudden, the door swung open with a bang. 

“Hoes,” Ten announced with grandeur. He climbed atop a chair at his friends’ table and wiggled his brows. “I’ve got news.”

“This feels all too familiar,” Doyoung muttered under his breath.

Everyone stopped talking and turned to face Ten with curiosity. “What’s up, Tennie?” Taeyong asked. Ten had a reputation for being a drama queen and extremely confident, but this was different.

Ten thrust his left hand forward and everyone gasped. Because there, on his fourth finger, shone an unmistakable gleam.

“I’m getting married, bitches!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of the things about Donghae and Hyukjae are taken from real life. Like the sunrise, meeting at fourteen, and the polaroids as bookmarks? When will y'all realize that Eunhae is fucking real.
> 
> I kind of just threw a ton of SM artists in this chapter, but I love all of them so I couldn't resist. 
> 
> Fun fact: Doyoung's girlfriend is the only character not from SM, but she has met him (and his brother!) in real life. She'll make an appearance later on. Guess who lol.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There's an awful lot of crying in this chapter.

“What?!”

Ten beamed. He did a little spin on top of his chair before settling down and showing off his ring. “Literally same. That was my first reaction when it happened,” Ten said.

Jongdae rushed over to examine the silver band. “Goddamn,” he whistled lowly. “This looks twice as expensive as the one I got for Sunyoung.” With an awkward laugh, he added, “Please don’t tell her that.”

“Don’t tell who what?” Sunyoung, who’d just entered the staffroom, asked curiously.

Jongdae jumped in fear. “Oh, uh, that’s just…well, Tennie’s engaged!” He exclaimed, running over and hugging his fiancée in an effort to distract her.

Sunyoung gasped. “Really? Can I see your ring?”

Before she could get closer, Jongdae hurriedly led her out of the room, making up some excuse about needing her help to arrange his studio.

Doyoung raised an unimpressed brow. “When I first met Jongdae-hyung, I thought he was pretty normal. Now I see he’s really not,” he remarked.

Jungwoo slapped him lightly across the shoulder. “Forget that, Ten-hyung’s getting married!” He turned to Ten with excitement shining in his eyes. “How did Johnny-hyung propose? Was it romantic?”

Everyone leaned in close to listen.

“Well,” Ten suddenly sounded uncharacteristically shy. “He asked me to go over to the bar last night, so I did. When I got there it was almost full but then everyone just went silent. Then Hansol-hyung—one of the bartenders—told me to stand on the bar and even though I was really confused I did it anyway. And then Johnny just got up too and proposed and I think I screamed but I’m not really sure,” Ten covered his pink face in embarrassment.

“Aww,” Taeyong cooed, reaching over to hug his best friend. “That’s adorable, Tennie. Congratulations.”

Baekhyun’s eyes watered up. “Beautiful,” he sniffled. “I hope Chanyeol’s proposal can be just as cute.”

Kyungsoo snickered. “First you’ve got to see if he actually wants to marry you.”

“We’ve been together for seven years! He’d better want to marry me!”

Jungwoo sighed dreamily. “I hope Lucas wants to marry me.”

It was Doyoung’s turn to laugh. “Woo, you’ve been together for like, two weeks. Marriage is a bit too far in the future, isn’t it?” He pointed out.

“It’s never too early to start planning!” Jungwoo insisted.

Ignoring the steadily rising chaos, Ten turned to Taeyong. The former’s eyes still shone with giddiness as he said, “Tae, you’ll be my best man, right? Yuta’ll be mad but it doesn’t matter because you’re my real best friend.”

A wide smile immediately broke across Taeyong’s face. “Of course I will, Tennie!”

 

 

“I’m assuming you heard the big news,” Jaehyun remarked as Taeyong climbed into the car.

Taeyong gaped. “You knew?”

Jaehyun snorted. “You think Johnny could come up with that? I had to plan the whole proposal for him.”

“For someone so angsty you’re quite the romantic, aren’t you?” Taeyong blurted out the first thing that came to mind. Only once the words were said did he realize the implications of his statement and blushed.

“I guess,” Jaehyun shrugged, seemingly unaffected by Taeyong’s blunder. “Proposing really doesn’t seem that hard. Once they see a ring they won’t care how good or bad the setup is.”

Taeyong absentmindedly played with the hem of his jacket. “Are you Johnny’s best man?”

“Oh yes I am,” Jaehyun fake grimaced. An entertained smirk played across his lips as he said, “I also had to help pick out the ring, and Johnny’s already set up an appointment for finding suits. He told me I’m—and I quote exactly—his ‘ride or die bitch’ and there’s no way for me to get out of any of this. So now it looks like I have to be a wedding planner despite only having been to one wedding my entire life.”

“Good luck, with that,” Taeyong shuddered. “When Donghae-hyung was preparing for the wedding he went crazy. I feel like Johnny and Ten combined would be much worse.”

Taeyong jolted upright. “Oh wait, do you mind actually dropping me off at Donghae-hyung’s place? I told him I’d drop by one of these days.”

Jaehyun scowled, said, “Hyung, the traffic is fucking terrible if we go that way. Can’t you spare your designated chauffeur for once?”

 

 

After minimal convincing (read: none, because Jaehyun was weak and agreed without any more fuss), Taeyong found himself perched on one of the tall stools in Donghae’s kitchen while his brother prepared tea.

“Hyukjae told me about Ten and Johnny!” Donghae remarked, his back to Taeyong as he focused on dishing out tea leaves. “Such great news. They’ve been together for what, four years now?”

“Five,” Taeyong corrected.

“Ah, even better. They’ve always been so cute, if not a bit PDA-y.”

“You’re one to talk, hyung,” Taeyong giggled. “You’re the clingiest couple I know.”

The kettle went off. Donghae chuckled as he poured water into the mugs and turned around to slide one over to Taeyong. “Guilty as charged," he winked.

Taeyong scrutinized the contents of his cup, his bitten nails tapping skittishly against the table. “Hey, hyung?”

“Hmm?”

“Why did you wait so long to get married?”

If Taeyong didn’t already have Donghae’s attention, then _that_ certainly did it. Donghae paused, his mug halfway up to his mouth.

Sensing that he’d struck an uncomfortable topic, Taeyong quickly added, “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, hyung. It’s not a big deal.”

“No, no,” Donghae sighed as he set down his mug. “I was just caught off guard. The reason isn’t anything bad, it’s just…well, I always thought it’d be better if you and Jeno didn’t know.”

Taeyong frowned in confusion. “What does that mean?”

Donghae pulled up another stool so he was seated directly across from Taeyong. His expression was unusually serious—completely different from how lighthearted and gentle he normally looked.

“Taeyong, the first time Hyukjae proposed was eight years ago, when we’d been dating for nine years.” The corner of his mouth lifted slightly at Taeyong’s shocked gape. “I know what you’re thinking: why didn’t we get married back then, if he proposed? It’s because I said no.”

“You did?” Taeyong yelped, his mind whirring a mile a minute. Donghae, who loved Hyukjae so much, said no to marrying him? Donghae, who’d never even looked at another man once Hyukjae came in his life, said no? Donghae,  _his brother_ , said no?

Donghae covered his face, his laughter strained and unnatural. “God, I felt so bad. I remember thinking that that was it, that I’d ruined our relationship for good. I cried so hard, but instead of leaving, he just hugged me.”

“But why did you say no?” Taeyong couldn’t help asking. “And why wouldn’t you tell me and Jeno about this?”

When Donghae removed his hands, his smile was sad. “I said no because you and Jeno were still in school. You were only seventeen, Taeyongie, and Jeno was still in middle school. I wasn’t ready to get married because I wanted you two to be on your own feet, first. It felt selfish to get married when my whole life after mom and dad died,” he choked up slightly, tears forming in the corners of his eyes, “was for you and Jeno. Hyuk understood, so we just went on pretending nothing had happened.”

“I thought I wouldn’t be ready to talk about marriage again until Jeno graduated, but when he and Jaemin moved in together it made me realize how grown up he is. And you’ve been doing well for years, so I decided to let myself be selfish. I think Hyukjae could also tell I was ready, so he proposed again when we went to see the sunrise last year.”

“And before you say anything,” Donghae held up a finger to silence his brother. “I know what you’re thinking. You probably feel guilty because you think you’ve been holding me back all these years, right, Taeyongie?”

Taeyong lowered his head in shame.

“But you didn’t hold me back. I don’t think I could have carried on the way I did after the accident if I didn’t have you two. All those days I spent working two jobs and rushing around were worth it, because now I get to see you and Jeno live such great lives. So please don’t feel like you owe me anything”

“And,” Donghae smiled gently. “I have to thank you, anyway. Because if it weren’t for you, I never would’ve met Hyukjae. And, no offense to you and Jeno, but he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Everything felt too overwhelming. Hearing Donghae’s story and the feelings he’d hidden for twenty years, and just the way he spoke about Hyukjae with the love so tangible in his voice—Taeyong felt like he’d been hit by a truck. The fact that someone could go through so much suffering and still come out with a happy mindset and someone he loved…wow.

“Anyway,” Donghae sat up straighter. “What made you so curious? Does this have anything to do with Johnny and Ten?”

_Caught red-handed_. Taeyong grinned ruefully, resisting the urge to abuse his nails any more than he already had. “I don’t know. At first I was just super happy for Tennie and I still am, but it’s different. I feel like everybody’s moving so fast—basically everyone I know is either getting married or dating—and I know I said I’m over what happened a couple weeks ago, but it hurts to think of it.”

“I think I get where you’re coming from,” Donghae hummed. “You’ve always been a little shy, and I know you haven’t had the best of luck with boys. I still remember when Yuta transferred to your middle school and you immediately had this big crush on him.”

Taeyong groaned at the memory. “I can’t believe I used to like Yuta of all people. But he was just a middle school crush, and all those other people I liked—Doyoung, Hansol-hyung, even Johnny at one point—were just crushes. But now…” He trailed off when he realized there was no easy way to express himself. “Now there’s someone I like a lot. It’s probably too early to say this, but he’s someone I think I could love or already do love. I don’t know, I’m not good at these things.”

Donghae reached over to hold Taeyong’s hand. “Jaehyun?”

It suddenly struck Taeyong that Donghae probably knew about the Jung family, too. He had to, because he’d been close friends with Yunho since elementary school. If anyone else knew, it had to be Donghae.

And, judging by the understanding smile on his face, Donghae did know.

“Even though I’ve known him since he was really young, I haven’t talked to him a lot. I don’t think he particularly likes talking to people other than his siblings in general, so I have no clue what he feels for you. But all I know is that you seem happy being around him.”

Donghae squeezed his hand reassuringly. “I think you should go for it, Taeyongie. Whether he likes you back or not, you’ll want to know.”

 

 

Bad days were inevitable. Even the happiest person in the world was subject to a dark cloud every now and then, and despite how hard tried they tried to hide their gloom, it wasn’t hard to detect it.

The second Taeyong opened the passenger door, he knew.

Jaehyun took a long drag from his cigarette. “Morning, hyung.”

Gingerly, Taeyong sat down and closed the door, resisting the urge to cough at the smell of smoke permeating throughout the car. This wasn’t the only cigarette, he realized. Jaehyun must have been smoking for quite some time, probably the whole drive over.

“Sorry about the smoke,” Jaehyun mumbled as he pulled onto the main road. “You can open your window if it’s too much.”

Taeyong didn’t hesitate to do so. He observed the way Jaehyun drove with his own window down and his left arm that carried the cigarette hanging outside. Occasionally, Jaehyun would take another lengthy drag. His eyes were rimmed in red again, and he looked so tired Taeyong wouldn’t be surprised if he collapsed right there and then.

He should have seen this coming, really. Just because Jaehyun had given Taeyong his lighter all those months ago didn’t mean he’d stopped smoking entirely. Maybe he’d been more open and outwardly kind, but Jaehyun was still a reserved person by nature. In the back of his mind, Taeyong remembered Jaehyun saying he only smoked when he got stressed, and that the worse he felt, the more cigarettes.

The ride was mostly silent, with Taeyong every now and then trying to make conversation and Jaehyun subsequently responding with noncommittal mumblings. The smoke intensified—or maybe Taeyong just felt so uncomfortable he felt like he couldn’t breathe.

When Jaehyun stopped the car, Taeyong had never been happier to see the doors of D&E. But before he could get out, Jaehyun let out a groan and tossed his finished cigarette out the window.

“I’m sorry, hyung,” Jaehyun confessed, and that was way more than Taeyong had expected.

“It’s okay, Jaehyunnie,” Taeyong replied. “We all have bad days.”

Jaehyun turned to face him for the first time that morning, a stressed smile on his face. “That’s not an excuse. I really am sorry.”

Taeyong’s heart hurt at how genuinely sad and world-weary Jaehyun’s eyes were. _I just want you to be okay. More than anything, I want you to be happy._

So completely on impulse and without any warning, Taeyong swiftly leaned over and kissed Jaehyun on the cheek. And just as quickly, Taeyong turned pink and scurried out of the car, not quite prepared to see Jaehyun’s reaction.

 

 

“Your ring is so pretty,” Sunyoung cooed.

Sooyoung, the only married member of D&E besides Hyukjae, nodded in agreement. “Kyungho’s engagement ring wasn’t nearly this pretty,” she lamented, twisting her golden wedding band around her finger.

Sunyoung looked over to Jongdae at the back table, who was very purposefully not looking at her. “I certainly know someone who can relate,” she commented loudly. “You really are lucky, Tennie.”

Ten beamed. “Johnny’s the biggest dork ever, but I just love him,” he gushed.

Next to Ten, Taeyong quietly chewed on his sandwich. He didn’t know the first thing about engagement rings, and he personally didn’t think that Ten’s ring looked too different from Sunyoung’s, but he still thought it looked pretty. Johnny and Jaehyun certainly picked well.

_Jaehyun…_

“When’s your wedding, Sunyoung-noona?” Ten asked.

Sunyoung perked up immediately. “April! Jongdae finally settled on a date.”

“I had to run it by my mother first! You know how she is!” Jongdae shouted.

“Excuses, excuses!” Sunyoung shouted right back.

Taeyeon, from where she stood by the sink stirring her coffee, snorted. “Sometimes I wonder how you two are still together.”

“I second that,” Baekhyun nodded. “Remember when we used to date, noona?”

“Ugh, don’t even remind me,” Taeyeon wrinkled her nose.

“You dated?” Ten exclaimed in shock.

Baekhyun shrugged nonchalantly as he bit into a carrot stick. “Oh, yeah. It was like eight years ago. Then we both kind of had gay awakenings and broke up. Sometimes Yeollie still laughs when he thinks of me trying to be straight.”

“Wait, really? Tiffany does the same to me.”

Jongdae watched on in disgust. “Somehow this conversation really doesn’t feel right,” he remarked.

“Weirder than that time you told me how many—and _whose—_ dicks you’ve sucked?” Sunyoung retorted. “I can’t even look Minseok-oppa in the eye anymore.”

“Aww, are you jealous, Sunyoungie?”

“Not really. More like scarred from hearing about your dick sucking adventures in graphic detail.”

In the midst of all the squabbling, Taeyong felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He fished it out and when he saw the message, his heart stopped.

 

_Jung Jaehyun: Something’s come up today. I can’t drive you home, but you really shouldn’t be walking in the cold so I asked Soojung to give you a ride. Sorry about everything._

 

“Yong? You all good?” Ten prodded him on the shoulder.

“Hmm?” Taeyong jerked his head up. He immediately locked his screen and plastered a smile on his face. “Yeah, I’m fine. So does Sunyoung-noona know the truth about why Junmyeon-hyung left?”

"Kim Jongdae, you did  _what_!"

 

 

The first time Taeyong met Soojung, he was ten and she was eleven, and she stole his favorite teddy bear.

Donghae and Yunho both had to babysit their younger siblings (Jaehyun was probably still in America at this time), and somehow they came up with the great idea of setting up a playdate. The younger siblings were both shy by nature, but when faced with someone shyer than her, Soojung took over. She made Taeyong her bitch that day, and by the end of the playdate he’d been all too ready to run over and cry into Donghae’s arms.

As Soojung pulled up in her sleek black BMW, rolled down the window, and yelled, “Get in, flatass!” Taeyong couldn’t help but feel that nothing had changed after fifteen years.

“I really don’t get why Jae didn’t call Yunho-oppa to pick you up because, you know, you work with him,” Soojung remarked as she took off down the road.

Taeyong’s expression turned guilty. “I’m sorry for bothering you, noona. I could just walk if you’re busy.”

Soojung waved him off. “Don’t even, Lee Taeyong. Besides,” she stuck her arm out and slapped him on the shoulder. “You never called me even though I told you to!”

Thinking back to that day made Taeyong grimace. “I’m sorry. I got so many messages I just kind of forgot.”

“Makes sense,” Soojung glanced over when they reached a stoplight. “But I’m still concerned about you, Taeyongie. Jaehyun called after you left and said he’d talked to you, but he sounded kind of weird. Did something happen?”

_You know how people say that you either become your parents or you turn into the opposite of them? My siblings never explicitly said this, but I think they're scared of becoming either our dad or our mom--they think they're bound to hurt someone who loves them or love someone too much._

“Not really,” Taeyong dragged his words out as he searched for the right thing to say. “We kind of had, like, a moment? I cried on him and he hugged me, that’s all.”

“Let me guess,” Soojung sighed knowingly. “He talked about our family, right?”

Taeyong’s silence was answer enough.

Soojung didn’t speak as she navigated through the intersection. After a few moments, she finally said, “Well, I am little surprised because he’s pretty private, but it makes sense he’d tell you. He really trusts you, Taeyong. It’s kind of frightening to see Jae be so honest, but it’s good, too.”

“Is it true that none of you have had serious relationships?” Taeyong asked quietly.

“You could put it that way,” Soojung mused, her long nails tapping against the wheel. “I don’t know exactly what Jae said, but you already know about our parents. Growing up with them was…difficult, to say the least. You could say they turned the four of us into love cynics.”

“Sooyeon and I mess with Yunho-oppa a lot, but we really do love him. He doesn’t talk about girlfriends or boyfriends a lot, but all I remember is that when he was in college, he’d have a different one every few months. He hasn’t been able to keep a steady relationship because he always breaks them off first—self-sabotage, in a way. Like he doesn’t trust himself.”

“As for Sooyeon…well, I don’t think she’s quite gotten over what our dad did. She’s had some boyfriends here and there, but she breaks up with them for the opposite reason. She’s afraid they’ll be like Dad. Or sometimes I think she’s afraid of being Dad herself, if that makes any sense. She once mentioned something about family genes being unavoidable, so interpret that however you want.”

Soojung hesitated before continuing. “Me, I guess I’m kind of the same. The worst thing I can imagine is hurting someone I love, and I try to tell myself that that’s not gonna happen, but I feel like it will eventually.”

“There was Jongin for a while, but…” She swallowed, reaching a hand up to wipe away her tears before they could fall. “I don’t really know what happened. I remember being so happy with him, and then one day I woke up next to him and had this overwhelming feeling that I was going to hurt him one day. I couldn't trust myself. So I broke his heart by breaking up with him, which was even worse.”

“I didn’t know you were together,” Taeyong said. Besides working with them, he only knew Jongin and Taemin as Soojung’s goofy childhood best friends. But now that he thought of it, he _had_ noticed Jongin sending Soojung a lot of longing looks.

Soojung laughed mirthlessly. “Yeah, not a lot of people did. But every time I see him I wonder how things could have been if I hadn’t been such a coward. If you don’t want to turn into someone who’s hurt you, then you just have to try your best to not be them. That probably doesn’t make any sense, but it’s the only way I can think of it.”

“Sometimes I think I’ve been sacrificing my own happiness out of fear of being happy. Yunho-oppa does that too, and so does Sooyeon. And even if he doesn’t tell us, I think Jaehyun does the same. We’re just fucked up like that, aren’t we?”

By that point, they’d reached Taeyong’s apartment, but he found himself rooted in place, unable to move from his seat. Soojung didn’t seem in any hurry to kick him out, either.

Suddenly, Soojung laughed—a real laugh—and pressed her palm to her forehead. “And yet somehow we’re not major fuckups. We didn’t drink ourselves into oblivion like our dad or lose everything like our mom. We’re still together.”

And then, without warning, Soojung shifted the car back into drive and sped off. Taeyong let out a small yelp as he clung to his seatbelt for dear life. “What the hell, noona? My apartment is back there!” He shrieked.

“Like I said, I’ve been sacrificing my own happiness, but I’m not going to sacrifice someone else’s,” Soojung spoke through gritted teeth as she concentrated on swerving through the lanes, earning a bunch of honked horns and angry drivers. 

“So you’re kidnapping me?”

Soojung rolled her eyes. “Relax, Taeyongie. I’d hardly call it kidnapping you when I’m just driving you to my brother’s apartment against your will.”

At the mention of Jaehyun, Taeyong froze. He felt a familiar burn creep up his face when he thought of the last time they’d seen each other..

“When I get home,” Soojung continued on her rampage. “I am going to personally find Kim Jaejoong’s number and give it to my brother. Then I will force Sooyeon finally ask out that guy she’s liked for months now but won’t admit it. Fuck it, we are _not_ going to live under that bastard anymore. I won’t accept it.”

“Watch out!” Taeyong screamed as Soojung narrowly avoided hitting a taxi.

Soojung paid him no mind. “I’m twenty-six, I deserve something good in my life. Sooyeon and Yunho-oppa are in their thirties now, can you believe that? And Jae’s only twenty-three and he’s already so emo—no, I’m not letting that be his future. I need him to be fine, at the very least. God, I just need him to be okay. Fuck everyone else, my little brother needs to be happy.”

She pulled to the curb with a screech of the brakes. Taeyong briefly closed his eyes to thank whatever higher being allowed him to survive that hellish ride. When he opened them, he glanced over to find Soojung full on crying. 

“It’s not too late, right?” She mumbled through her tears. “It’s not too late to be happy?”

Taeyong shifted awkwardly in his seat. He really, really wasn’t good at these things. “You mean about Jongin-hyung?”

“Not just him. I mean, I hope it’s not too late to be happy in general. To not only love someone else, but also put every shitty thing my dad did in the past away for good,” Soojung turned to face him with mascara streaking down her cheeks. “I want to believe that we—me and Yunho-oppa and Sooyeon and Jaehyun—aren’t too fucked up from our parents. I think we _are_ okay, but we keep on sabotaging ourselves. But it’s not too late to stop, right? It’s just a matter of letting ourselves be happy, and I think that’s possible.”

“I don’t think it’s too late,” Taeyong said, and he actually believed his words. He would never know the pain the Jungs had gone through, and truthfully he didn’t know much about their current situations, either. But he knew that if anyone could turn things around, it was Soojung.

“And also,” he added, “I don’t think it’s too late for Jongin, either.”

Soojung fixedly stared at her hands, but Taeyong caught the minuscule smile gracing her lips. “You’re always going to be that wimpy little kid to me, but I see why Jaehyun likes you so much,” she murmured.

Then she glared at him and said, “Speaking of which, I swear I will do so much worse than steal your teddy bear if you even think of hurting him. Got it?”

Taeyong nodded hastily to show his understanding.

“Good,” Soojung smirked smugly. “Now get your nonexistent ass out of my car. I’m a woman on a mission.”

 

 

Perhaps neither Soojung nor Taeyong had thought this plan out very well, because there was one very fundamental problem: Jaehyun was still not home.

Taeyong looked under the mat to see if there was a key, but alas. He checked under the flowerpot too, but still no key. Then he sifted through the soil in the flowerpot, and still nothing.

_I could really do with a Jeno key copy right about now,_ Taeyong thought wryly. 

All of a sudden, he remembered that time he’d given Jaehyun his number. Jaehyun’s phone had no passcode. For a moment, he entertained the idea of Jaehyun’s door being unlocked just like his phone.

_Don’t be stupid_ , he scolded himself. He reached for the door anyway. _Jaehyun would never be so careless._

The handle turned with ease. Disbelief across his face, Taeyong couldn’t believe his eyes as he pushed the door open. Internally, he tsked at the thought of Jaehyun being so reckless. An unprotected hone and an unlocked door? He was just asking for trouble.

Then Taeyong remembered what he came here for in the first place, and he gulped. It felt wrong to just enter someone’s house without their permission, but then again, his friends had been doing that to him for months, and even Jaehyun had done it once, too. Whoever said karma was a bitch was damn right.

Taeyong flipped on the lights and made his way over to the living room. Once again he was struck by the contrast in the walls. He eyed the tree-shaped bookshelf and went over to examine the books Jaehyun had neatly stacked on the branch shelves. To his surprise, they were mostly high school and college yearbooks, with some foreign novels and more photo albums. 

He grabbed a random album from the shelf and flipped through its pages. Similar to the photos on the wall, Jaehyun mostly took pictures of himself with friends or of pretty landscapes. Taeyong smiled at a goofy picture of Jaehyun and Sicheng in the midst of shaving, and then at another of Johnny and Ten at the bar.

Just as he placed the album back on the shelf and was about to reach for another one, he heard the front door open. A rush of fear overcame Taeyong, and he suddenly didn’t know if he could do this anymore.

Before he had time to think properly, Jaehyun appeared in the living room. His black hair was messy like he’d been running his hands through it nonstop, and his posture looked defeated. He had an unlit cigarette in his mouth and was in the midst of taking his lighter out when he saw Taeyong.

Jaehyun froze. 

“Hi, Jaehyunnie,” Taeyong waved awkwardly, wondering what the best possible explanation for his appearance could be.

“Um, hi, hyung?” Jaehyun slowly took his cigarette out of his mouth and put it back into the box. “What exactly are you doing here?”

Taeyong tried for a winning smile. “Well, you broke into my house once so I thought I’d just return the favor.”

Jaehyun raised a brow.

Realizing there was no other way to explain himself, Taeyong sighed. “Soojung-noona drove me here. She wants us to talk,” he said sheepishly.

“Classic Krystal,” Jaehyun muttered under his breath. He raked a hand through his hair, making it even messier than before. “Look, hyung, usually I’d be happy to hang out, but not today. It’s been a long day, and I just want to go to—”

“Tell me about your day,” Taeyong interrupted. He took a few steps closer until he stood eye to eye—or more like eye to neck with their height difference—with Jaehyun. “You can trust me, Jaehyunnie. Please don’t suffer by yourself,” Taeyong pleaded.

Jaehyun averted his gaze. “Hyung, I’m tired. Let’s do this some other time.”

“Jaehyun, listen to me!” Taeyong insisted. He took Jaehyun’s hands in his and laced their fingers together, holding onto him desperately. “I know you well enough to know that if you don’t talk about this now, you’re never going to. You’re just going to keep it bottled up and then you’ll start smoking again and feel even worse. And I don’t want you to feel any pain, Jaehyunnie, so please just talk to me.”

He held his breath. This was it, he thought dimly. This would change everything. If Jaehyun pushed him away again, then Taeyong knew what that meant. As they remained in a standstill, all he could think about was how much he didn’t want Jaehyun to go. He closed his eyes. _This is it._

And then a pair of arms wrapped around him so tightly he lost his breath. When Taeyong opened his eyes, he could only see the white of Jaehyun’s shirt. Vaguely, he registered something wet falling on his hair.

Jaehyun was crying.

“Remember when you saw me and hyung arguing?” Jaehyun whispered against Taeyong’s hair. “He wanted me to go see our mother, and I didn’t want to. I told him I’d move back to America before I’d see her again, and he got upset.”

Taeyong lifted his arms and wrapped them around Jaehyun’s shoulders. “I thought you said none of you have seen her in a long time?”

Jaehyun laughed hollowly. “I lied. They all visit her every year, but I haven’t gone in three years. I know I’m a terrible person for that, but I just couldn’t.”

Slowly, the pieces of the story started to make sense. “You went to see her today,” Taeyong stated rather than asked. 

He felt Jaehyun nod against his head. “I tried to, at least. I left work early and drove all the way to her house, but once I got there I couldn’t get out of the car. I just sat there for hours. She knew I was there, too. I saw her look at me through the curtains sometimes.”

“I should have gone in, hyung,” Jaehyun cried. “It’s the least I can do for cutting her off for so long, but I just couldn’t. No matter how much I told myself to get the fuck out of the car and knock on the door, I couldn’t move. So eventually I drove away. I didn’t know what else I could do.”

“Hey, hey,” Taeyong hushed. He leaned back a bit and held Jaehyun’s face in his hands. A pang went through his chest when he saw the tears falling down. “Jaehyun, it’s okay.”

“She’s my mother,” Jaehyun said emptily.

Taeyong nodded. “She is, but she’s also part of the reason why you’ve had such a difficult life. It’s okay that you’re not ready to see her again, Jaehyun. You can take all the time you need; I’m sure she’ll understand.”

“She shouldn’t. I don’t deserve that much,” Jaehyun groaned.

He started to shake his head rapidly, the panic in his motion increasing. Patiently, Taeyong stood on his tiptoes and bumped their foreheads together, effectively halting Jaehyun’s frantic movements.

“I’m sure she loves you. Believe it or not, you’re worthy of love. So worthy,” Taeyong smiled encouragingly.

For a moment, the tears stopped flowing. Jaehyun—beautiful, beautiful Jaehyun—locked eyes with Taeyong, and now he didn’t look sad or tired. If anything, he seemed hopeful, like he was seeing the sun after an eclipse.

“You love me, don’t you, hyung?”

Taeyong’s eyes widened in shock at first, but then he smiled. “Yes,” he replied. Now it was his turn to cry, but he only felt happiness he gazed upon the man he’d fallen for.

“I love you, Jaehyun.”

Upon hearing the words, Jaehyun’s tears fell again, streaming down his face like a waterfall. He held Taeyong like a lifeline and pressed his cheek against his hair again, just like that night a few weeks ago. He cried until Taeyong’s hair became damp, but Taeyong let him do so.

And when Jaehyun ran out of tears to cry, he kissed Taeyong like his life depended on it.

 

  
“Can I ask you something?”

Jaehyun hummed in affirmation as he lightly traced patterns onto the palm of Taeyong’s hand. Exhausted from the emotional moment, Jaehyun had led him to his room where they currently lay side by side, still fully clothed. 

Taeyong curled closer to him. “Are you feeling better now?”

“That’s all you had to ask?” Jaehyun’s voice was laced with amusement. He stopped his ministrations and pressed a kiss to Taeyong’s hair. “But yes, I’m okay,” he murmured.

“Good. That’s good,” Taeyong nodded sleepily. Try as he might, he couldn’t hold back his subsequent yawn.

“Has anyone ever told you you look like a kitten when you yawn?” Jaehyun commented.

“Plenty,” Taeyong grumbled. “Everyone tells me I’m like a cat. There was this one phase where people would only refer to me as ‘Kittyong’ or ‘Tyongkitty’. That was so embarrassing.”

He realized a beat too late that he’d said the wrong thing. “Don’t you even dare,” Taeyong threatened, pointing his finger right into Jaehyun’s face. “It took me ages for them to stop. Don’t bring it back.”

When Jaehyun smiled, his eyes crinkled into crescents. “Of course, hyung. But,” his voice lowered. “I do like the names. They suit you very well.”

Taeyong groaned. “I hate you,” he flopped over on his back. “But your bed is very comfortable, so I guess I don’t hate you _that_ much.”

“Further evidence that you just use me for my material possessions,” Jaehyun deadpanned. “First my car, then my bad. What’s next, my TV?”

“You do have a very nice TV. It’s like, twice the size of mine.”

Jaehyun chuckled. He threw an arm over Taeyong and nuzzled his face into the smaller man’s neck. “At least you’re cute, hyung.”

They lay in comfortable silence for a few minutes. Jaehyun occasionally pressed kisses against the underside of Taeyong’s jaw, which definitely didn’t affect Taeyong in a way he’d never been affected before. Definitely not.

Just as Jaehyun started kissing his neck, Taeyong’s eyes snapped open. “Oh wait, can I ask you something else, too?”

“Does it have to be now?” Jaehyun muttered, now hovering over Taeyong’s body.

“Yes, now,” Taeyong insisted.

With a sigh, Jaehyun fell down next to him. “Okay, fine. Shoot.”

“How many others?”

It took Jaehyun a second to understand, but when he did, his eyes grew large in shock. “You can’t be serious, hyung,” he groaned. “Please don’t make me list out everyone.”

“Fine,” Taeyong giggled. “Just the important ones, then.”

Jaehyun scowled playfully, then his expression turned thoughtful. “There was a girl back in America. We went to high school together. I guess we were kind of serious.”

“If you ‘guess’ you were ‘kind of’ serious than you probably weren’t serious,” Taeyong pointed out.

“Fine, so we weren’t serious. But she was the first person I slept with, so that counts for something,” Jaehyun paused. “And then there was this guy in college, but it wasn’t really anything. Then there’s a bunch of people I just hooked up with on the weekends. But,” he paused again, “then there was this girl my senior year. That was the first time I thought it could be more…but it didn’t work out. I broke up with her before graduation.”

Taeyong went quiet. Even though Jaehyun had only been in one semi-serious relationship, he’d still slept with far more people than Taeyong had. Suddenly feeling very inexperienced and a little insecure, Taeyong found himself unable to meet Jaehyun’s gaze.

As if he could read his mind, Jaehyun leaned over and softly kissed Taeyong on the lips. “Hyung, I like you a lot. I’m sure you’ve picked up on that by now,” the corners of his lips quirked up. “And I…I don’t think I’m ready to say I love you just yet, but I want to make this work. So give me time, Taeyong-hyung, and trust me.”

Taeyong responded by burying his head in Jaehyun’s chest, hiding the beginnings of happy tears that were starting to form again. “Okay, Jaehyunnie,” he whispered. “I love you.”

And even though he wasn’t ready to say the words back, the way Jaehyun ran his fingers through Taeyong’s hair and across his lips said enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have nothing to say.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um okay I just realized that there's a huge gaping plot hole because how the fuck is Taeyong good friends with Soojung and he never knew she had a younger brother but for my sake let's all just ignore that lol.
> 
> Anyway enjoy Jaeyong being complete cheeseballs.

Jaehyun choked on his coffee, causing him to almost drift into the wrong lane. “She said that?” He exclaimed in shock.

“Oh, yes she did,” Taeyong nodded with a teasing lilt to his voice. “I think she probably did it, too. Yunho-hyung will have a field day, but your boss probably wouldn’t be too happy.”

“I wouldn’t put it past Soojung,” Jaehyun muttered darkly. “She once tricked me into a blind date, and that was just about the worst experience of my life.”

Taeyong giggled. “Have I ever told you about the first time I met her?”

“No, but I’ve heard her side of the story. Something about you being really weak and her taking advantage of that?” 

“She scarred me for life,” Taeyong shuddered playfully. He unlocked his door as Jaehyun stopped by the curb, said, “I’ll have to tell you the full story some time. It’s a good one.”

“Mmm, I bet,” Jaehyun nodded.

Just as Taeyong was about to get out, he was stopped by a hand on his wrist. Turning in confusion, he opened his mouth to ask what was wrong when Jaehyun pulled him down and kissed him.

It was hardly more than a peck, really, but Taeyong malfunctioned anyway. He stared at Jaehyun with wide eyes, raising his fingers to his lips in disbelief.

Jaehyun smiled boyishly. “Have a good day, Taeyong-hyung. I’ll see you later.”

Taeyong finally regained his senses and pouted. “That’s not fair!” He whined as Jaehyun’s car drove out of sight.

When he spun around to go to work, he was met with the sight of Ten, holding his hands up to his face in shock.

_Fuck._

 

 

“When did this happen? How did it happen? Yongie, why didn’t you tell me anything?” Ten demanded as Taeyong very purposefully speedwalked down the hall. “Hey, don’t you run away from me, Lee Taeyong! You need to fess up!”

Taeyeon poked her head out of her studio. “What’s going on? What does Taeyongie need to confess?”

Taeyong broke into a full sprint to his office, but just as he closed his door, he heard Ten’s loud voice shout, “Taeyong and Jaehyun kissed!”

“What?!” Taeyeon screamed so loudly Taeyong wouldn’t be surprised if the aliens could hear her.

“What?!” Another voice that unmistakably belonged to Jongdae screeched.

Taeyong banged his head against his desk.

 

 

As things usually went at D&E, by lunchtime, everyone knew the latest news: Lee Taeyong and Jung Jaehyun were together.

Taeyong almost refused to step out of his office the whole day, but, deciding he’d rather face the firing squad sooner rather than later, reluctantly made his way over to the staffroom.

He immediately regretted his decision the second he opened the door. His usual table of Ten, Doyoung, Yuta, and Jungwoo were there, as were the inseparable trio of Jongdae, Baekhyun, and Kyungsoo who, as of late, always seemed to be present. Sunyoung, Taeyeon, Sooyoung, and Yoona stood against the wall with their arms crossed. Even Taemin and Jongin—who, if Taeyong remembered correctly, were supposed to be running classes right now—were present.

The most unnerving part wasn’t the fact that so many people were in the room or that every single person had their eyes trained on him, but the thick silence. There was never a quiet moment at D&E until now, and Taeyong wasn’t exactly ecstatic about it.

“Um, hi,” he waved awkwardly. “Seeing as this place looks full, I think I’ll just go.”

Before he could even blink, Yuta and Ten each grabbed him by an arm and dragged him over to their table. The trio rushed in to hold him down while the girls leaned in closer and the chuckle brothers guarded the door.

“Spill,” Ten ordered, his eyes focused very intensely on his best friend.

Taeyong, resigned to his fate, let out a long and regretful sigh. In his next life, he swore, he would never befriend anyone named Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul. He would go find a white collar job in a considerably less crazy workspace than D&E Studios.

“Yes, it’s true,” he mumbled. “Jaehyunnie and I are together now.”

The staffroom burst into raucous applause and high pitched wolf whistles. Taeyeon reached over and pinched his cheeks while Sunyoung ruffled his hair. Jongdae, Kyungoo, and Baekhyun all cheered. Even Taemin and Jongin were clapping.

Ten wiped away a fake tear. “You’re so grown up now, Taeyongie. Where have the times gone?” He bawled, throwing his arms around his best friend and shaking him violently.

“I’m older than you, Tennie,” Taeyong muttered to no avail.

Yuta placed a hand over his heart. “I can’t believe this day has come. Just the other day you still had a crush on me,” Yuta sighed.

Jungwoo grabbed Taeyong’s hand and shook it excitedly. “Hyung, will you go on double dates with me and Xuxi? You have to! Promise me, hyung.”

“How about triple dates with me and Johnny too?” Ten suggested.

“Quadruple date!” Yuta interjected. “Actually, make that five because Dons needs to come too!”

Doyoung facepalmed. “There is no way in hell I’m letting Sejeong meet you guys. She’ll turn against me.”

“Het problems,” Yuta snorted.

Taeyong just smiled. D&E was loud and rambunctious and overall a strange place, but who was he kidding? He loved everything about it.

All of a sudden, the door to the staffroom opened with a loud bang. Taemin and Jongin, who were still perched by the door, jumped in shock as a crazy-eyed Yunho burst in.

“Did you hear that Taeyong and my brother are a thing now?” He demanded.

Taeyeon rolled her eyes. “You’re late to the party, oppa,” she remarked dryly.

“Oh,” Yunho, who’d just noticed the crowd and Taeyong in the center of it, saluted awkwardly. “Well, congratulations, Taeyongie. Treat Jaehyun well.”

 

 

Being with Jaehyun was all about firsts.

Taeyong technically had his first kiss that night at the club, but he counted his first real kiss as the one they’d shared in Jaehyun’s apartment as they both cried. That night also marked the first time Taeyong’s feelings had been reciprocated, and his first boyfriend.

Well, he thought, maybe it was a little too early to officially call Jaehyun his boyfriend, but he supposed that with the way Jaehyun drove him everywhere and let Taeyong invade his apartment, it was probably okay.

Another important part of being with Jaehyun was the little things. He still wasn’t quite comfortable with affection or relationships in general. Taeyong, being naturally clingy (his brothers were Donghae and Jeno, of course he was also going to be clingy), initially felt disappointed with the lack of skinship and close contact.

But then he started noticing the seemingly small gestures that secretly spoke much louder. Like when he’d spent the night one time and woke up to a cold bed, but once he stepped into the kitchen he found Jaehyun setting out an array of cakes and sweets on the kitchen table.

(“What’s this?” Taeyong asked in surprise. Didn’t Jaehyun hate sweets?

Jaehyun cleared his throat. “I just thought I’d stock the apartment with sweeter stuff. Because you’re here a lot now,” he explained.

Taeyong blinked. Was it just him, or did Jaehyun seem _shy_? “Oh, that’s so nice of you. But what if I’m not around to eat them?” He opened a box of cream puffs and popped one into his mouth.

“Well,” Jaehyun paused awkwardly. “I guess you’ll just have to come more often.”

Taeyong tried to convince himself that the reason he broke into an earsplitting smile was because of how good the cream puff tasted and not because of how touched he was by the gesture. _Jaehyunnie wants to see me more,_ he thought giddily. _How sweet.)_

Another time, during one of the drives to work, Jaehyun had suddenly taken his right hand off the steering wheel and clasped Taeyong’s hand in his. Jaehyun didn’t say anything the rest of the ride, but judging by the way his ears turned pink, Taeyong knew. So he giggled to himself and chose to look out the window contently while Jaehyun ran his thumb over the veins on Taeyong’s hands.

(“Are you eating enough?” Jaehyun frowned. “Your hands are so bony.”

Taeyong hesitated. He’d always been built small, with narrow shoulders, compact hips, skinny limbs, and, as all his friends loved to remind him, a “nonexistent ass”. His face was small and thin as well, with a sharp jawline and only a little fat on his cheeks. No matter how hard he tried, he could never gain muscle like Ten or Yuta.

Jaehyun seemed to sense he’d struck a sensitive subject, so he squeezed Taeyong’s hand reassuringly. “It’s okay, hyung. You’re adorable,” he teased.

“You can’t call me adorable when I’m older than you!” Taeyong protested, a blush already spreading across his cheeks.)

Then Jaehyun started teaching Taeyong how to drive in his Mercedes, which he regretted about five seconds later.

(“Holy shit,” Jaehyun swore loudly. “Hyung, please pull over. Pull over right now.”

“Awww,” Taeyong pouted, but he did so anyway. “Come on, Jaehyunnie. I didn’t actually hit that woman!”

Jaehyun shook his head resolutely. “No. Absolutely not. I’m not risking my life, your life, or my car’s life by letting you drive.”

“Fine,” Taeyong grumbled as they got out and switched seats. “I thought it would be useful for me to get my license, though. Then you wouldn’t be forced to drive me around all the time.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Jaehyun smiled softly. “You not getting your license means I get to spend more time with you.”)

Taeyong’s favorite was when they lay down on the living room floor and flipped through Jaehyun’s old yearbooks and albums.

(“Oh, you’re so cute,” Taeyong cooed over Jaehyun’s high school senior year picture. “Look at those cheeks! Just like Moomin!”

Jaehyun shot him an affronted glare. “Don’t you dare think about going there, _Kittyong_.”

“Touché,” Taeyong sniffed. He reached for the college album and started leafing through the pages. “Where’s Sicheng? I need to see how cute my child used to look.”

“Given the fact that Sicheng and I are the same age, I don’t feel comfortable with you calling him your child,” Jaehyun joked. He pulled the album over and flipped through it until he found what he was looking for. “Here he is: Dong Sicheng, the one and only.”

Taeyong snatched the album excitedly. “Awwww, he looks adorable with blonde hair” he squealed.

Suddenly, he noticed the picture below the one of Sicheng. It was of Jaehyun mid-laugh with his arm around a girl. She was pretty, with dyed red hair and a bright smile. 

“Hey, Hyunnie,” Taeyong prodded Jaehyun to get his attention. “Is this your ex? The one you told me about?”

Jaehyun glanced over. “Hmm? Oh wow. Yeah, that’s here. I completely forgot about that picture. I think Johnny took it when we were seniors.”

“She has really nice eyes,” Taeyong commented enviously. 

Despite all the compliments aimed towards them, Taeyong had never liked his eyes. They were unusually large and doe-like, and he used to think they gave him a deer in headlights look. When he already had such a delicate facial structure, having big eyes made him feel unbalanced. Scary, even.

“I like yours better,” Jaehyun said. He reached up and kissed Taeyong on the temple. “You’re really pretty, hyung.”

Taeyong blushed.)

So it was okay if things were still a little awkward and different. Taeyong was so in love with all the little things Jaehyun did. Hell, he was just so in love with Jaehyun in general. 

 

 

Every year on Valentine’s Day, Hyukjae threw “Couple’s Day” at the studio—in which every employee brought in their significant other to spend the day with and introduce to their coworkers. The first time Hyukjae had explained the concept, Taeyong found it ludicrous. But after five years of the tradition, everyone loved it.

“So why does Hyukjae-hyung do this again?” Jaehyun questioned as they walked into the studio. “I mean, I’m never going to complain about missing work, but what’s the backstory to this tradition?”

Taeyong shrugged, a skip in his step as he cuddled up to his boyfriend’s side. “I tried asking him once, but he just started shouting about how much he believed in love. I’m guessing it was Donghae-hyung’s idea and Hyukjae-hyung’s too whipped.”

“Ah. That would explain it,” Jaehyun laughed. “Isn’t that basically their whole dynamic?”

“Pretty much.”

Meeting the other couples was…pure and unchained chaos, to say the least. Some of them like Sunyoung, Taeyeon, Jongin, and Taemin recognized Jaehyun because of their ties to Soojung and Sooyeon, but for the ones who weren’t friends with Taeyong or the sisters, it was their first time meeting the mythical Jung Jaehyun. At first, Jaehyun looked taken aback by all the attention, but then he slowly grew into it and started conversing with the others.

At lunchtime, Taeyong brought Jaehyun over to the staffroom where the usual crew resided. Jongdae and Sunyoung, who for once weren’t bickering, sat before a stack of folders and planning papers. Taeyong guessed it was for their upcoming wedding, which was now only two months away. Baekhyun was perched on the lap of a man with long limbs and ears that stuck way out to the sides. Kyungsoo, who was single, didn’t seem to mind being the fifth wheel. He even helped Jongdae and Sunyoung with their plans and talked casually to Chanyeol (ah, that’s right, Taeyong remembered. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol were best friends, and Kyungsoo was the reason Chanyeol and Baekhyun met in the first place).

At the regular table, Ten wasn’t quite sitting on Johnny’s lap, but the way he preened back and rested his head on Johnny’s shoulder gave off the same effect. Yuta and Sicheng were talking to a girl Taeyong didn’t recognize. She had a slim build and a kind face, with a wide forehead and expressive eyes. He assumed she was Sejeong, Doyoung’s girlfriend, by the way Doyoung had an arm around her shoulder.

Taeyong sat down next to Jungwoo, who kept nervously checking his phone. Oddly enough, he was the only one who was alone.

“Is Lucas here?” Taeyong asked.

Jungwoo bit his lip. He looked like he was about to cry. “He couldn’t get out of morning shift at the record store, but he said he’d be here by one. It’s almost two; where is he?”

Just as the words left his mouth, a tall, lanky man ran into the room and tripped over absolutely nothing.

“Ah,” Taeyong remarked. “I guess that’s him.”

“Xuxi!” Jungwoo cried out, rushing over to his fallen boyfriend. “Oh my god, are you okay? Does it hurt? Where does it hurt? Do you need an ice pack?”

“I’m okay,” Lucas groaned. When he sat up, Taeyong was struck by his handsome face and thick brows. He gave off the vibe of a little puppy with the way he let Jungwoo fawn over him. 

After sufficiently evaluating Lucas’s “wounds,” Jungwoo turned back to his friends. “Everyone, this is Lucas! He also goes by Xuxi—isn’t that so cute?” He gushed, hugging Lucas from behind.

Lucas waved awkwardly. “Hey."

Ten leaned forward in interest. “Oooh, you _are_ cute. Woo has some good taste,” he remarked, causing Lucas to blush.

“Don’t embarrass him!” Jungwoo protested, tightening his grip on his boyfriend. Something about the way he held onto a man so much taller than him made Taeyong want to laugh.

Sejeong, who seemed friendly and easygoing, laughed. “I think you’re making him feel embarrassed, if anything,” she teased.

“I’m shocked Doyoung got you to date him when he’s so lame,” Ten sipped his tea.

Doyoung choked. He glared at Ten, said, “When did this become an attack on me? I literally haven’t said anything.”

Jaehyun tapped his chin in thought. “Maybe because you kind of look like an offended bunny when you get mad. It’s pretty funny,” he commented.

“You really do!” Sejeong chimed in.

Doyoung scowled at Taeyong. “Where did you find this guy? Send him back now.”

Taeyong rolled his eyes. He grabbed Jaehyun’s arm and cuddled up against him, happy that Jaehyun didn’t seem to mind at all. “Go back to your sad cave, Dons,” Taeyong stuck out his tongue.

Doyoung collapsed onto Sejeong’s lap. “Why do my friends suck so much?” He wailed.

 

 

Valentine’s Day was also Jaehyun’s birthday, which Taeyong absolutely loved.

“It’s so cute that you’re born on the most romantic day of the year, yet you used to hate love,” Taeyong teased.

They were sitting in his office casually drinking tea together while the rest of the workers attended to their classes. Jaehyun smiled sheepishly, said, “I didn’t _hate_ love, per say. More like I was just a little cautious of it.”

“Keep telling that to yourself, mister,” Taeyong tilted his head cutely.

Jaehyun rolled his eyes, a fond smile playing at his lips. “So,” he drawled, “did you get me a present, Taeyongie-hyung?”

_Taeyongie-hyung_. How cute.

With a huge beam, Taeyong opened one of the drawers of his desk and pulled out a small box wrapped neatly in silver paper. “Ta da!”

Jaehyun’s jaw dropped. “Wait, you actually got me something? I was just kidding,” he said in disbelief.

“Open it!” Taeyong poked his arm.

Slowly, Jaehyun unwrapped the present with upmost care. When the paper was gone, his jaw fell again. 

“Oh my god.”

Taeyong smiled. “Do you like it?”

It was the music box from the thrift store they went to for Christmas shopping. The box was just as he remembered, white with flowers painted on the sides and the figure of the faceless girl holding a rose on the inside.

Taeyong’s smile faltered when Jaehyun didn’t say anything. “Oh. It’s okay if you don’t like it,” he tried to sound convincing but felt his voice breaking. “I get it if it’s not your thing.”

And then Jaehyun burst in laughter. He arched his neck back and clutched his chest as he laughed freely. He laughed so hard tears started welling up.

“What’s so funny?” Taeyong mumbled, slightly hurt by his boyfriend’s reaction. “Do you dislike it that much?”

“Sorry, hyung,” Jaehyun wiped his tears away. “It’s not like that. It’s just…wow…” He laughed even more.

Taeyong was starting to lose patience. “It’s just _what_?” He demanded.

Jaehyun smiled and took Taeyong’s hand in his. “I went back to that store last week and meant to buy this for you, but it was already gone. Now I know where it went.”

_Oh._

“I originally wanted to give it you for Christmas, but then I chickened out and bough that stuffed cat instead,” Jaehyun continued explaining. “Then we started dating, so I thought I’d get it for Valentine’s. But it was already gone. I was ready to track down whoever bought it and everything because I wanted you to have it so badly, but the shopkeeper only accepts cash so there weren’t any records. I was devastated, hyung, but I guess it all turned out for the better,” he winked.

Shyly, Taeyong buried his face in Jaehyun’s chest. “You’re so stupid,” he sniffled, willing himself not to cry.

“I know, I know,” Jaehyun kissed the top of Taeyong’s head. “I suck, I’m sorry.”

Taeyong shot his head up as he remembered something. “Hey,” he poked Jaehyun’s chest. “You said you wanted to give me the box for Valentine’s. So does this mean you didn’t get me anything?” Taeyong fake pouted.

Jaehyun smirked. He ran his thumb over Taeyong’s lips and said, “I think I know a way to make it up to you.”

_Oh._

 

 

_Lee Taeyong: HELP_

 

_Ten: Yong, it’s like midnight. Go to sleep._

 

_Lee Taeyong: Don’t act like you weren’t just sucking Johnny’s dick._

 

_Ten: Fair enough. So what’s up?_

 

_Lee Taeyong: We may have done something…_

 

_Ten: WHAT_

_Ten: THE_

_Ten: FUCK_

_Ten: Losing your virginity on Valentine’s Day? How cliché, Lee Taeyong :P_

_Ten: But in all seriousness congratulations._

_Ten: Wait but why did you ask for help?_

 

_Lee Taeyong: IT WAS BAD OKAY_

_Lee Taeyong: Well I thought it was good but then I saw the face he made and I knew it was bad._

 

_Ten: What did his face look like?_

 

_Lee Taeyong: I don’t know…he just looked like he felt really awkward but was pretending not to be. Like he smiled but it was soooo awkward._

 

_Ten: Yikes._

 

_Lee Taeyong: Then he pulled out and said he’d go take a shower. I think he went to take care of himself there…_

 

_Ten: hOLD UP_

_Ten: ARE YOU SAYING_

_Ten: HE DIDN’T COME???!!!_

 

_Lee Taeyong: ………_

 

_Ten: Oh Taeyongie._

 

_Lee Taeyong: I guess it’s because I didn’t take very long and he felt bad so he didn’t want to embarrass me but god his face said everything TT_TT_

 

_Ten: Wait. Exactly how long did you last for?_

 

_Lee Taeyong: asdfghjkl Tennie this is such a weird thing to tell you._

 

_Ten: Bitch I told you how Johnny’s fucked me on every single table and countertop in the bar in a single night, then fucked me against the wall in the pot room. You can tell me this._

 

_Lee Taeyong: …like six thrusts………._

 

_Ten: Yiiiiiiiikes._

_Ten: Okay, that’s mean. I’m sorry._

_Ten: But it’s okay. First times are always awkward. You’re not the first one to have a weird one. Like I lost my virginity to Johnny and the boy forgot lube._

 

_Lee Taeyong: I know I know but it’s still so embarrassing >_<_

 

_Ten: Wait what happened after he got out the shower?_

 

_Lee Taeyong: Well he apologized and said he was probably being pretty obvious. He told me we could try again whenever I was ready and then we cuddled until he fell asleep._

_Lee Taeyong: He looks so cute when he sleeps._

 

_Ten: BITCH IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU’VE SOLVED EVERYTHING ALREADY_

 

_Lee Taeyong: Oh… I guess we did._

 

_Ten: Tae, you guys are going to be fine. Clearly he respects you too much to be pressed about how awkward it was._

 

_Lee Taeyong: He’s so sweet it hurts TT_TT_

 

_Ten: If it makes you feel better, Johnny straight avoided me for a week after the no lube incident and I had to literally jump him to make him stop feeling bad. Jaehyun’s an angel in comparison._

 

_Lee Taeyong: Jaehyunnie really is an angel <3 <3 <3_

 

_Ten: Don’t rub it in._

_Ten: Anyway, Johnny’s back and without a shirt, and you bet I’ll be taking advantage of that. Get some sleep, Yong._

_Ten: But also I’m really happy for you! It seems like Jaehyun really is perfect for you._

 

_Lee Taeyong: He’s perfect!!!!!_

 

_Ten: WHIPPED_

 

 

(Spoiler: It did get better. Much better)

 

 

“What are you doing here?”

Soojung jumped a foot in the air. “Jesus! You can’t just do that!” She shrieked, her hands flying to her chest.

Taeyong blinked. “Um, noona? Why are you here?”

He’d been on his way to talk to Hyoyeon and Yunho about the upcoming dance recital when he discovered Soojung loitering by Jongin’s studio. She paced around nervously, every now and then peeking through the square window on the door. Taeyong noticed how she was dressed unusually casually in a cropped blue hoodie and jeans—Soojung and Sooyeon both worked as stylists, and they always wore something fashionable.

Soojung paused. “Uh, I’m here to see my brother?” 

“This is Jongin-hyung’s studio,” Taeyong deadpanned.

“Oh would you look at that,” Soojung gasped, feigning surprise. “I must have gone to the wrong room. I had no idea this was Jonginnie’s.”

Unimpressed, Taeyong tapped the giant plaque on the door that very clearly read: Kim Jongin.

“Oh,” Soojung ducked her head in embarrassment and shifted her weight from side to side. “Well, Sunyoung-unnie’s getting married next month and I just thought I’d ask Jongin to be my plus one,” she mumbled quietly.

Taeyong tilted his head in amusement. “Noona, you do realize Jongin-hyung is also invited to the wedding, right? He’s friends with both Sunyoung-noona and Jongdae-hyung,” Taeyong pointed out.

“Ah, that’s right,” Soojung nodded rapidly. “I guess there’s no reason for me to ask him anything, then. See ya, Taeyongie!”

She started to make a run for it, but Taeyong calmly grabbed the hood of her sweatshirt to stop her. “Come on, noona. What did you say about no longer sacrificing your happiness?”

“Well, I made sure my siblings were all happy first!” Soojung protested. “I found Kim Jaejoong’s number and now he and Yunho-oppa have gone on a few dates and from what I’ve heard, it sounds very promising between them. And Sooyeon has a boyfriend she really likes, so she’s happy too. Then there’s you and Jae, so I think I’ve done a pretty good job.”

Taeyong smiled patiently. “That’s great for them, but what about you? Didn’t you say you’d try again with hyung?”

“I’m trying!” She groaned, grabbing her hair in frustration. “I thought it would be easy to just ask him out again, but it’s really not. Why would he say yes after I was the one who ended things in the first place?” Soojung murmured miserably.

Taeyong thought back to all the times he'd caught Jongin staring at her. One day she'd shown up at the studio to drop something off for Yunho, and Jongin's eyes had been trained on her the whole time.

“Noona,” Taeyong said, holding her steady by her shoulders. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think Jongin-hyung will say no.”

“Really?” Soojung stared at him with wide eyes. “Even after I just broke up with him like that?”

The door to the studio opened and Jongin’s students filed out. Jongin himself was busy wiping his sweat off as he checked his phone.

Taeyong gave Soojung a little shove in the direction of the studio. “Why don’t you see for yourself?”

 

 

“I can’t do this,” Jaehyun spoke through gritted teeth. “Hyung, I really can’t do this.”

Taeyong rubbed his shoulder soothingly. “That’s alright, Hyunnie. We can come back another time.”

That was all it took for Jaehyun to floor the accelerator.

As they sped down the highway, Jaehyun sighed loudly. “I’m a bad son, aren’t I?”

“Hey, don’t be like that,” Taeyong insisted. He kissed Jaehyun’s hand that was intertwined with his—recently, Jaehyun had normalized holding hands while he drove. “You’re trying your best, but you’re just not ready yet.”

“Am I ever going to be ready?” Jaehyun smiled ruefully. 

“I’m sure you will,” Taeyong affirmed.

When Jaehyun got off the highway, he immediately stopped by the curb. Before Taeyong could say anything, Jaehyun pulled him over and kissed him. He cradled Taeyong’s face in his hands gently, but the way he kissed was hard and insistent, like he was trying to get a message across.

Taeyong gasped for breath once Jaehyun released him. “W-what?” He stuttered in bemusement.

Jaehyun just pressed another kiss to Taeyong’s forehead and smiled.

_Oh_ , Taeyong realized. He smiled back.

There were a lot of things Jaehyun wasn’t quite ready for. But Taeyong was patient, and it didn’t matter how long it took for Jaehyun to say it because his feelings were already crystal clear.

Donghae always said that when he met Hyukjae, he knew Hyukjae would become an important part of his life. When he was younger, Taeyong used to be confused because he thought Donghae was talking about love at first sight, which he didn’t believe in. But now, Taeyong thought he understood what his brother really meant.

Taeyong just knew. God, he knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter will be an epilogue (it'll probably be a little shorter but I'm not sure yet).
> 
> Thanks to everyone for sticking with me :)


	8. Heal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is shorter and a little messy but I like it and I hope you do too.

**_July 2021_ **

“God,” Jaehyun panted, burying his face into Taeyong’s neck. “Fucking hell, hyung.”

Too dazed to process anything, Taeyong just breathed in short gasps.

Eventually, Jaehyun rolled off him and gathered Taeyong in his arms. “For someone so small you sure have a lot of stamina,” he teased, pressing kisses all over Taeyong’s face from his pointed chin to his damp hair.

Taeyong let out an annoyed whine. “I hate you,” he grumbled, but he curled up to his boyfriend anyway.

They lay in peaceful silence for several minutes, with Taeyong resting his head serenely against Jaehyun’s chest. The latter hummed some popular song as he carded his fingers through the former’s hair. Just as Taeyong started dozing off, a phone buzzed. He whined again when Jaehyun moved to get it.

Jaehyun chuckled. “Soojung just sent me this,” he said, showing Taeyong his phone screen.

The last Taeyong had heard from Soojung, she’d been enjoying summer vacation in Jeju with Jongin, Taemin, and Jinri. The picture showed Soojung with Jongin’s arms around her as they shared a smoothie with two straws. In the background, Taemin was mid jump with his hands in peace signs while Jinri laughed at him.

“Cute,” Taeyong commented, grabbing the phone to peer closer. “Cheesy, but I’m glad they’re together.”

Jaehyun nodded in agreement. “Same. I was surprised they got back together, but also not really. I always thought Jongin-hyung still had a thing for her.”

Taeyong absentmindedly exited the app. “When are they coming back again? This month?”

“I think so.”

“Mmm, that’s good,” Taeyong smiled at the phone’s home screen. “And hey, you haven’t changed this yet!”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes. “It’d be pointless for me to do that anyway.”

About a month ago, Taeyong had been playing with Jaehyun’s (passcode-less) phone and, because he was feeling mischievous, changed the default lock screen to his cute selfie. Then he’d switched the home screen to a different selfie, but with Jaehyun in it too. The first time Jaehyun saw the changes, he’d laughed and threatened to delete all of Taeyong’s pictures. But Taeyong had caught him smiling fondly down at his lock screen plenty of times to know that that would never happen.

“Shower?” Jaehyun asked as he kissed Taeyong’s shoulder.

“Round two?” 

“There’s that stamina again.”

Taeyong whacked him on the shoulder.

“Happy birthday, hyung,” Jaehyun stuck out his tongue.

 

 

**_December 2021_ **

“Jaehyun, could you please pass me the potatoes?” Yunho asked.

“Ask Soojung to do it,” Jaehyun muttered, too busy cutting up a piece of ham.

Sooyeon slammed her fist down on the table. “Pass him the goddamn plate, Jae!” She roared.

Immediately, Jaehyun gave Yunho the potatoes. Taeyong giggled.

“Thank you,” Sooyeon smiled sweetly, already back to her usual self. At the shocked gazes of everyone at the table who wasn’t related to her, she waved her hand flippantly. “That’s the only way to get them to listen,” Sooyeon explained.

Soojung shuddered. “It works like a charm,” she said.

Jeno coughed awkwardly to relieve the tension. “Wow, uh, you guys are very outspoken, aren’t you?”

“It’s okay, we know we’re fucked up,” Soojung casually remarked. She examined her forkful of pie and wrinkled her nose. “Oh, crap. This wasn’t the chocolate one.”

“Anyway,” Donghae cut in quickly with a slightly panicked look in his eyes. “Does anyone have any fun plans for the rest of the holidays?”

Sooyeon shook her head. “I’m back to work on the twenty-sixth.”

“Same,” Yunho said through a mouthful of potatoes. “May spend New Years with Jaejoong but who knows.”

“Ugh,” Jaehyun wrinkled his nose in disgust. “I can’t believe you’re dating my boss now. There’s so many reason why that feels wrong.”

Taeyong nodded sympathetically, said, “I know exactly how that feels.”

Hyukjae, who’d been innocently minding his business and nursing his glass of wine, spittaked all over Jaemin and Jeno. The younger boys jumped back in shock while Donghae’s jaw dropped.

“Lee Hyukjae!” He cried in disbelief.

“Sorry, sorry,” Hyukjae mumbled sheepishly, offering Jaemin and Jeno a full stack of napkins. He turned back to Taeyong, said, “And in my defense, I was your brother’s boyfriend way before I was your boss.”

“It’s still weird sometimes,” Taeyong shrugged.

Soojung rolled her eyes as she grabbed a piece of the chocolate pie. “Sometimes I feel like D&E is just one giant incestuous family,” she muttered.

Hyukjae looked absolutely affronted at that comment. “Excuse me, but I have established a very strict atmosphere of professionalism at my workplace!” He insisted.

“Oppa,” Soojung deadpanned. “Out of your workers, you have a married couple, an engaged couple, and like twenty dating couples. And don’t try to tell me you’re professional when Jongin told me he saw Taeyong making out with Jaehyun in his office.”

“Huh. I guess that’s true,” Hyukjae mused.

Donghae and Yunho, on the other hand, were concerned about something else entirely. 

“Taeyong! You’ve been making out with your boyfriend at work!” Donghae exclaimed. He looked positively scandalized by the revelation, with his eyes comically widened and mouth hanging open.

“You’ve been coming to the studio and not telling me?” Yunho demanded.

Taeyong groaned and pressed his forehead against Jaehyun’s shoulder. A blush spread across his cheeks when he thought of how _steamy_ one particular visit ended up being.

Jaehyun, however, didn’t seem to mind. He leveled his gaze with his brother’s and said, “Hey, Hyukjae-hyung. My brother’s been hiding all his cleaning supplies in his desk for a year,” with a smirk.

“Goddammit, Yunho!” Hyukjae shouted.

Donghae sighed. “Why can’t we ever have normal family dinners again?”

“The fucked up-ness of the Jung family has gotten to you guys,” Soojung replied solemnly. “Got any more pie?”

 

 

When Jaehyun opened the door, he got assaulted.

“Merry Christmas!” Taeyong shouted, throwing two large handfuls of tissue paper confetti and glitter in Jaehyun’s face.

“What the fuck!” Jaehyun attempted to shield himself from the attack, which just made Taeyong giggle and throw more confetti at him.

Suddenly, Jaehyun snatched Taeyong by the wrist and dragged him down to the ground, holding him in place with a knee to his chest. “Do you surrender?” Jaehyun teased while he held both of Taeyong’s wrists in one hand.

Taeyong just giggled more. “You look so cute with glitter in your hair!” He cooed.

“Yeah?” Jaehyun smirked, and Taeyong could practically see the gears turning in his head.

Then, without warning, Jaehyun started shaking his head rapidly, causing some of the glitter to fall onto Taeyong’s face. Taeyong cried out in surprise, thrashing to get out of his boyfriend’s hold. But Jaehyun’s smirk simply widened as he used his free hand to grab a handful of confetti on the floor and drop it onto Taeyong as well.

“Surrender now?” He sang teasingly.

“Surrender!” Taeyong agreed immediately.

Once Jaehyun let go of his wrists and removed his knee, Taeyong lurched up to grab him by the collar and kiss him. He could feel the other man’s smile as he licked into his mouth, but suddenly Jaehyun pulled away.

“Ack. No offense, hyung, but you have glitter in your mouth and I’m not about that,” Jaehyun aggressively started wiping his tongue.

Taeyong sulkily crossed his arms. “Well maybe I was feeling bored all day because my boyfriend had to go into work on Christmas,” he sniffed petulantly, purposefully looking off to the side.

“I know; I’m sorry,” Jaehyun placed an apologetic kiss on Taeyong’s nose. “But I’m back in time to go to Taeil’s party. Wanna head out now?”

“Hmm…” Taeyong paused in thought. “Depends on your apology.”

When they stumbled into Taeil’s apartment an hour later, the first thing Johnny said to Jaehyun was, “Dude, why do you have glitter on your lip?”

 

**_January 2022_ **

“Why is so fucking hard to find a fucking photographer?” Ten screeched in frustration. His face had turned bright red and he had a vein on his forehead that was threatening to pop with his anger.

“Like, is everyone just magically busy during August,” he continued on his rant. “There’s like ten million fucking people in Seoul and you’re telling me not one photographer is available?”

Jungwoo timidly sipped from his juice box. “Ten-hyung, maybe you need a break from all the wedding planning,” he suggested quietly.

Ten snorted. “I can’t, Woo. Johnny’s already done so much so I promised I’d find the photographer and the caterer, but so far I’ve failed at both!” He dramatically collapsed onto the table.

“Shh, calm down,” Taeyong rubbed Ten’s back in an effort to tranquilize his best friend. “You still have eight months to find someone, Tennie. It’ll all be okay.”

Just at that moment, Jongdae—for once sans Kyungsoo and Baekhyun—walked into the staffroom. He took one look at a stressed Ten and raised a brow. “Wedding stress?” Jongdae guessed.

Taeyong, Yuta, Doyoung, and Jungwoo all nodded.

“Yikes,” Jongdae shuddered. He pulled up a chair to join the table, said, “I’m so glad those days are behind me. I think Sunyoung and I almost got divorced before we even got married.”

Ten let out a moan that didn’t even sound human.

“You’re scaring him,” Taeyong chided. Then, as an afterthought, he added, “Actually, hyung, who was your wedding photographer? Would they possibly be able to do Tennie’s wedding?”

“Sunyoung’s sister,” Jongdae responded. “But I wouldn’t count on it, because she’s touring Europe the whole summer. Sorry, guys.”

Doyoung frowned. “Taeyong-hyung, have you asked your brother who did it for his wedding?”

“Hangeng-hyung’s already moved back to China,” Taeyong shook his head.

“How about Sooyoung-noona’s wedding?” Yuta suggested.

“Already tried,” Ten mumbled dejectedly. “He’s unavailable.”

Jongdae tapped his chin. “You know, Tennie…” he mused thoughtfully. “Maybe you don’t need an official photographer.”

Ten shot him a scandalized look. “What do you mean?”

“Hear me out,” Jongdae leaned forward with an eager smile. “This was Sunyoung's original idea for our wedding, but then she felt bad and asked her sister to take pictures. You probably don’t have any guests with the right equipment or technique as a pro, so don’t bother. Buy a ton of polaroid cameras and set one at each table, then just let the guests take care of the wedding photos. It’s cheaper than hiring a photographer, and you’ll get more pictures.”

The table went silent as they digested the plan. Jungwoo glanced at Doyoung, who turned to Yuta, who looked at Taeyong, who stared at Ten as they waited for an answer.

Finally, Ten’s face broke out into a smile. “I like it.”

Everyone cheered. In the midst of the celebrations, Taeyong’s phone vibrated.

_Jung Jaehyun <3: I’m outside waiting._

“Where are you going?” Jungwoo asked when he saw Taeyong putting on his jacket.

“Jaehyunnie’s picking me up early,” Taeyong explained. He grinned and added, “Anniversary.”

 

 

**_February 2022_ **

Taeyong yawned into Jaehyun’s shoulder. “Did you have a good birthday?” He murmured sleepily.

“Oh it was great,” Jaehyun said, busy tracing his fingers up the length of Taeyong’s bare spine. “Although it was kind of weird to see my brother and sister during work hours.”

“I can’t believe Yunho-hyung got your boss to come in for Couple’s Day,” Taeyong smiled in amusement. “Actually, Ten said Jaejoong-hyung looks like me, but I don’t think so,” he remarked.

Jaehyun shuddered. “Please don’t say that. I don’t want to imagine my boss and my boyfriend as similar in any way.”

“Clearly the Jung brothers have a type,” Taeyong shot back sassily.

“Please no. I’d rather not love the same type of person as hyung does.”

Taeyong stiffened.

_Love._

“Hyung?” Jaehyun paused in his ministrations and peered down at his boyfriend in concern. “Is something wrong?”

Quickly regaining his senses, Taeyong just blinked innocently. “Nothing. I’m just tired,” he lied.

It may have just been a slip of the tongue, but he had no doubt in his mind that Jaehyun hadn’t meant it. Taeyong cuddled up next to him and fell asleep with a small, content smile.

 

 

**_July 2022_ **

“I’m getting married!” Ten whooped right before he downed another shot.

“Easy there, Tennie,’ Taeyong laughed. When Ten motioned for another round, Taeyong secretly shook his head at the bartender. “You’ve had enough to drink for all of us.”

“I’m just so happy,” Ten slurred as his eyes became watery. “I’m getting married to the love of my life next month and I’m here with all my favorite friends for my bachelor party! Except for Dons. I don’t know why he’s here.”

Doyoung glared over the rim of his glass. “I hate my friends,” he grumbled.

“You’ve been saying that for years and yet you still hang out with us,” Yuta said. “Either you don’t actually hate us or you’re just unable to make new friends. I think it’s both.”

Taeyong bumped Doyoung’s hip with his own. “Come on, Doyoungie. You know you love us,” he sang.

“Plus you’re paying for all these drinks,” Jungwoo added.

Doyoung nearly dropped his glass. “Excuse me?”

“When are you getting married, DonDon?” Ten interrupted, clamping his hands on Doyoung’s face in his drunken haze. “Are you gonna have a bunch of little bunnies with Sejeongie?”

“Uhh,” Doyoung looked like he had no idea which part of Ten’s question he should address first. He glanced to his friends for help, but all of them just laughed. “We’ve only been together for two years. I haven’t even mentioned marriage or kids to her, ever,” he answered in clear discomfort.

“Lame!” Ten shouted. “I want my favorite people to all get married, too!”

“No luck here,” Yuta apologized. “I guarantee Sicheng would drop kick me if I proposed anytime soon.”

“I’d want Xuxi to ask me,” Jungwoo smiled in his usual whipped fashion. “But I think it’s still too early to expect anything,” he pouted, genuinely saddened by the thought of not being married to Lucas.

Taeyong, meanwhile, stared dreamily off into the distance. Truthfully, he hadn’t thought of marrying Jaehyun quite yet—they’d only been together for a year and a half, and although he was confident in their love for each other, Taeyong knew that any mention of marriage now or in the near future would send Jaehyun running. 

But still. He could see it happening for sure. Taeyong envisioned a future where he and Jaehyun lived in an apartment full of photos and music boxes and sweets and black coffee. He saw them peacefully slow dancing in the living room with soft, adoring expressions. Then a small child would run in and cling to their legs, and Jaehyun would scoop up the kid and kiss its forehead.

And damn if that wasn’t a sight.

 

 

**_August 2022_ **

“How are you twenty-seven and you still don’t know how to tie a tie,” Jaehyun tsked. 

“I’ve never worked in an office like you, Mister Fancy Accountant,” Taeyong frowned in concentration as he attempted the knot for the…actually, he didn’t even know how many times it was now. All he knew was that Jaehyun had come in and tied his own in about five seconds and now Taeyong felt self-conscious over his own inability.

Jaehyun rolled his eyes as he came over and took the tie in his hands. “It’s still a basic life skill, Taeyong-hyung.”

Taeyong merely rolled his eyes.

After finishing a neat knot, Jaehyun crooked a finger under Taeyong’s chin and kissed him. “Stop pouting and let’s hurry up. You know Johnny will end me if we’re late.”

“Okay,” Taeyong agreed, but only after stealing another two kisses off him. He started going through the drawers to look for the notes for his best man speech. “Hey, did I tell you how Donghae-hyung and Hyukjae-hyung have been approved for adoption?” Taeyong asked as he searched.

“Oh really?” Jaehyun’s voice called from the bathroom where he was busy spraying cologne. “I think that’s great. They’d be really good parents.”

Taeyong nodded absently. “Yeah, same. Donghae-hyung’s always talked about wanting to be a father and now that it’s starting to come true I’m—”

Inside the drawer he’d just opened lay a key on top of a sticky note with his name written on it.

“You what?” Jaehyun reentered the bedroom.

Slowly, Taeyong picked up the key and turned to face his boyfriend. “Jaehyunnie,” he spoke slowly. “This is for me?”

Jaehyun froze. “Ah,” he said. “I was planning on giving you that next week. I guess you spoiled the surprise.”

“Are you…are you asking me to move in?” Taeyong whispered.

Jaehyun’s smile spoke louder than words.

Without warning, Taeyong dove into his arms and kissed him. “Oh my god, I was just thinking about this the other day. Of course I’ll move in with you!”

Carefully, like he was afraid of making a mistake, Jaehyun pressed his lips to Taeyong’s temple and said, “I love you, hyung.”

Taeyong just grinned. He’d always been sure of Jaehyun’s feelings, but hearing them out loud? Knowing that all of Jaehyun’s small steps were slowly growing bigger? It was something else entirely.

So he gazed upon him with nothing but softness in his eyes as he said, “I love you, too.”

There was nothing, Taeyong mused, more beautiful than the way the dimples on Jaehyun’s cheeks peeked out when he smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand that's all. Thank you to everyone who enjoyed reading about cutie Taeyong, emo Jaehyun (who is no longer emo and is just a cheeseball), and the rest of the SM family.
> 
> I definitely have more ideas for the future, and I'll probably stick to Jaeyong in some way. Keep an eye out for me!

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies for any typos or grammatical errors. I'm not very good at editing.
> 
> Thank you!


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